It Came from Outer Space (open)

[Deleted]

Episode 2 | Week 2 | Day 2 | 1:45 am | Somewhere in the Appalachian mountains

Warning! Hull breach detected!

The computer chirped to the empty seat in front of it, a large red glyph flashing on and off on the screen. Sparks fizzled and rained down from the wires knocked loose from the roof in the emergency landing. Well, that could have hardly been called a landing. It was more along the lines of a careening crash into the side of some mountain that nearly tore apart the pod in the process. Smoke billowed out of the starboard side of the craft, barely reaching the upper atmosphere before the air was too thin to keep the gas' shape any longer. Emergency lights washed the inside of the pod in a dark red, providing barely enough light to see by.

Warning! Hull breach detected!

Her optics reset once...twice...three times before her vision cleared and the floor slowly swam into view. Everything hurt, even the slow beating in her chest keeping her alive. But that meant she was alive, so that was a start...she supposed. Shale slowly pushed herself off the floor and shifted to her elbows in an attempt to stand. Even that slight pressure sent flaming pain through her right shoulder.

The shriek she made was laced with heavy static, her head slamming back onto the floor as she waited out the sudden spike. Once the burning sensation dulled Shale rolled back onto her legs and propped herself against the base of the seat. Tentatively she reached up to inspect what ever was causing the pain. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't what she ended up finding.

Warning! Hull breach detected!

The surface was flat, the edges holding no uniformity to it's cut - she winced as one of her fingers caught a corner - and it was still hot to the touch. A giant shard of glass, do doubt from the hull of the pod, buried several centimeters deep in the crease between her shoulder and forearm. With a loud sigh she rolled her head back to slam against and come to a rest on the seat of the chair behind her.

"Perfect."

She spat the word irritably into the air before her denta ground together, her fingers wrapping around the protrusion. Again her cry was washed in heavy static as the glass was ripped out and rolled onto the floor. Resetting her vocalizer twice in the span of one minute hadn't been how she expected to wake up. Speaking of...how had she survived that ordeal? Where in the Pit had she ended up?

Questions for later, first she needed to find a way out of this death trap. Bracing her hands against the edge of the chair she slowly pushed herself up, feeling her legs quake and almost immediately give out from under her as she let go of the chair. Flailing forward she gripped the console letting it support her weight. The entire world spun around her, or was that the numbing ache she had in her...everything?

Warning! Hull breach de-

The message never finished, Shale's fist made certain of that.

"I heard you the first fragging time."

She muttered her voice still hoarse from not being used for who even knew how long? Her vocalizer was rest once more for good measure. Her grip on the console gradually loosened and she hovered by it for a long moment to make certain her pedes could support her weight again. Good start, now to find a way out of this smoking wreck. The 'breach' wasn't so much a 'breach' as much as a gaping hole in the front of the pod.

How she hadn't been jettisoned into space before making contact with the atmosphere of the planet she didn't know. But certainly was thankful for.

Cradling her injured arm carefully to her chest - grimacing at the slickness oozing down her arm - she scrambled awkwardly through the hole. Blinded by smoke she stood at the nose of the craft and half climbed half slipped her way to the upturned ring of dirt surrounding the crash. Pausing to let her optics adjust to the lack of light Shale carefully walked away from the crash, keeping her steps as quiet as her frame weight allowed. Who knew what was inhabiting this planet and if it meant well or not?

There was this strange...coating of lush green covering the ground. Crouching Shale plucked a few of the sprouts and rolled them between her fingers. Surprised to see it had stained them the same green. Thin structures sprouted from almost everywhere, and when Shale pushed on them they bent and some even toppled over. What was this stuff?

More and more of the lubricant, coolant, and fuel cocktail dripped down her arm. She really hoped she could get that fixed soon. If she could find help at all on this rock. That thought made her stop mid-step. What if there was no help to be found? On this planet, this sector, anywhere at all? What if the two sides had completely wiped each other out by now?

Shale paced as she tried to push those thoughts away. Panicking about this now would do her no good. There had to be somebody- ANYBODY out here who could patch her up and tell her just where in the universe she had ended up. There just had to be...

[Deleted]

A shooting star was not something to be ignored these days.

A target lit up his RWS radar like a beacon. Startled, he watched the little square blaze into life as the radar beam swept over it - once, twice, three times. Then it faded, and the screen was dark again.

It was gone.

But for just a second he had seen the star for himself, streaking boldly downwards from the stratosphere. It had burned white and then winked out again. Chances were it was nothing more than a bit of orbital debris crashing to Earth after chilling out for a while in space: old satellites, rocket stages, fragments from collisions, frozen coolant from RORSAT satellites, meteoroids, blah blah. Normally he would geek out about that sort of thing. Once he had chased such a falling object and discovered the warped remains of a star tracker unlucky enough to not be protected by a ballistic Whipple shield. Oh well! Goodrich Electro-Optical Systems loss was his gain!

There was a good chance that this was nothing more than another piece of junk.

But a piece of junk big enough to illuminate itself on his radar.

Hm.

He grappled with the urge to investigate for a minute or two. When his curiosity finally overcame his weariness, Deuce banked his wings and set a waypoint towards the distant, dark Appalacians.

----

"Hey, sweetheart."

The voice came from the darkness behind Shale. It came from the wreckage of her pod, which still gently smoked. It sounded a little hoarse and tired, but there was a trace of amusement in it.

Were she to look around in its direction she would spot the moonlit silhouette of a flier sitting on the hull of her pod. He sat cross-legged upon the wreckage like a mountaintop guru. His manner was calm, as if parking his ass on a crashed shuttle pod was something he did on a daily basis. His orange optics glowed in the dark.

He had not been there a minute ago.

"I gotta say," he said. "You are much easier on the eyes than a Terma HE-5AS, even if the latter does provide a twenty-two degree field of view and arc-second performance at an affordable price. Rawr."

One orange optic winked at her. "New to these parts? You appear to be injured. Is it serious? And I mean, serious enough that a dirty doctor joke would be totally inappropriate right now."

[Deleted]

Shale's mind ran at several hundred miles, reaching into the farthest crevices for anything that could have been even remotely helpful to her right now. Maybe she could go back to the pod? It had to have some kind of communication function to it right? With enough tinkering she might be able to strengthen the signal to send a distress call to the neighboring planets, someone would receive it... probably. She didn't like all the 'maybes' and the 'ifs' in that plan. But what else could she really do right now?

"Hey, sweetheart."

Shale nearly jumped right out of her plating.

She spun around as fast as her throbbing head would allow her. There was a bot casually sitting on the nose of her 'ship'. Legs crossed and a relaxed posture like he didn't care the thing under him was a smoldering mess that had nearly killed her. Where in the name of Primus had he come from?! She hadn't heard anyone approach and he couldn't have climbed onto the pod so silently she didn't even notice. Did he somehow teleport there? Stranger things happened. Had she been so engrossed in her attempt to make some sort of plan that she completely tuned out the real world? Another thought occurred to her almost immediately after those ones.

Who cared?

He was living proof that she wasn't alone, that there were her own kind here even if it was just him. For a moment she felt joy wash over her and the thought to practically jump and hug him came to mind. But then another thought came to her, one not so joyful.

What if he was the enemy?

Shale couldn't visibly see an insignia on the usual places, chest, shoulders, or wings but that could very well mean nothing at all. His posture was too relaxed to readily leap and charge her, but he could be bidding his time to have her fall into a sense of security. He could hurt her, he could kill her, he could... flirt with her?

Shale's initial reaction was confusion, why was he trying to flirt with her? Was he that much of a sadist? Or - and this was the more likely scenario - he meant her no harm. She simultaneously felt shame and embarrassment bleed into her tight field. She couldn't help but jump to conclusions, battle worn or not she still wore the Autobot shield. She wasn't quite sure how to respond to the stranger's pass, sure others had flirted with her and some she'd humored but it'd been far too long since she'd had social contact. She wasn't much of a people person to begin with anyway.

He shifted focus asking about her injured arm, still finding a way to casually toss in another pass at her. Slowly she moved her hand away taking in the spill on her fingers. It was steadily getting worse, better speed this encounter up a bit.

" Yeah, it's not pretty."

She flicked some of the solution off her fingers as she spoke.

"Piece of glass broke off the hull and dug into my shoulder. Wouldn't happen to have a medic hiding somewhere would you?"

She took a few steps toward him, trying to see her sudden company a little better in the dark. He was really lanky, dull grey with little bits of orange thrown in for good measure. Her curiosity was getting the best of her, she had to ask.

"Are... there others? I haven't exactly been keeping up on current events."

She was almost positive there were a few lingering pieces of shrapnel hiding in her wound. And unless this mech just happened to know a thing or two about patching others up she'd really like to see a medic sometime in the near future.

[Deleted]

The flier laughed.

Creakily, he stood up. He brushed soot off his limbs and jumped down from the top of the pod. When he hit the ground with a thud he winced.

"You're in luck!" he said. "Clearly, we were meant to be! As it stands I am the kingpin of current events. Well, no, I just keep my ear to the ground. But I'm happy to fill you in on whatever you need to know."

Smiling, he strolled towards her. He was quite tall, and built like a beanpole. His civilian-grade armour was scuffed and worn, the paint chipped in places. As he drew near the moonlight revealed that his dark face was littered in little scars, as if over the years he had been struck often. With a rake.

But his optics were bright, and his manner friendly. As he approached he sized her up with an air of impish curiosity.

"First off, let me assure you you're not alone," he said. "You're currently standing on a rather nice little organic planet called Earth, famous for its vast oceans, it's flourishing ecosystems, and for The Dark Side of the Moon. It's actually in the old planetary database, believe it or not. During the war this was one of the planets that both sides seeded energon stockpiles on, because we're charming like that."

He rolled his optics, but good-humouredly. "Anyway, this was the crash site of the Ark. Part of its crew survived, including the big Kahuna himself. So I'm happy to inform you that your fellow Autobots are here. On the downside, so is the Nemesis - and the Decepticons. Which effectively makes this planet the new frontline of the war, hooray. May I take a look?"

The flier pointed to her injured arm, then knelt down on one knee in front of her and pantomimed theatrically.

[Deleted]

The stranger clambered down from his perch, landing with a thud that made even Shale cringe inwardly. As he walked closer she got a better look at him in the light of the moon. He had scars on his face, chips in his grey paint, and a friendly look to him as he eyed her up. She felt a little more guilt about judging him so quickly but it was gone as soon as it came. He boasted about her good fortune in meeting him here, proclaiming how he was fluent in what was happening on this little organic rock.

Huh, that was actually rather lucky.

He began with assuring her they weren't the last of their race and her field finally relaxed. Thank goodness. That was the only thing she really wanted to hear - well that and there was a medic just happening to stroll by. She doubted her luck was THAT good tonight.

This was also the crash site of The Ark. Well she'd managed to get back to the ship, it'd just taken longer then she thought it would. There were survivors, other Autobots on the planet.

Including Optimus Prime.

The surprise on her face couldn't be masked if she tried, her mouth falling slightly open. The universe felt insignificantly small right then. The last surviving Prime and leader of their army was here, practically in the middle of nowhere.

And so we're the Decepticons.

This tiny planet had become the main thrust of combat in lieu of their home planet. Super. No matter where she went she wouldn't be able to escape the conflict. Many other questions began bouncing around in her head. How many Autobots were here? How many Decepticons followed? Was Megatron here as well? Where was the Autobots base of operations? But that could wait.

He motioned toward the injury on her arm, asking for permission to inspect it before crouching in front of her with a flourish. The ghost if a smile flickered across her lips. Okay, she could have done worse for her first encounter.

"Yeah, thank you."

She nodded before shifting herself downward enough to let him see the laceration. The problem wasn't the size of the actual cut in her armor, it was only about the width of two of her fingers put together. If it was just that it could have easily been patched and she could be on her merry way. No, the problem lie in the depth. Lines were cut completely through and were sputtering all manner of vital fluids. It was hard for her to move the limb so she was sure a few other things had been clipped as well.

There were still a few tiny pieces of glass hiding in the cut as well. She held onto her immobile hand as he looked around, thumbing the back quietly. She hated small talk, but formalities were a little late and needed to be addressed.

"... It's Shale... by the way..."

[Deleted]

"Deuce," said the flier.

He grinned a little and tapped his chest, still on one knee. "You can call me Deuce. A pleasure to meet you, beautiful. Let's see if we can't get this arm of yours to stop leaking, shall we?"

The following minute was spent in silence as Deuce gently turned her arm over to inspect the damage. Despite his flippant manner he was careful in how he manipulated the injured arm, and his grip was light. He hummed softly to himself as he looked it over, his gaze thoughtful.

Eventually, he looked up.

"Welp," he said. "I've got good news and bad news."

Without releasing her arm he climbed awkwardly to both feet. "The good news is, no major lines appear to have been severed. That's a relief, because I don't think you'd still be standing here if they were. It's a deep-ass gash, but at least it's not a critical one. I'm seeing a lot of broken glass in here as well, but that can be easily removed and the lines replaced."

As if to prove his point Deuce reached in and nimbly plucked out a shard of glass, so quickly and lightly that Shale would barely have time to flinch before it was out. He held it up to show her before flicking it to the ground.

"The bad news is: I'm not a medic," he said. "Which was a gross oversight on Young Deuce's part, because damn, those guys raked in the cash. I'm pretty handy with a laser cutter and solder, it's true, because I'm awesome like that, but this is beyond my ability to repair. I can pinch off some of these bigger lines to prevent any further fuel loss, but you'll need to see a proper sawbones to get this patched up. Have you got any of the old Autobot comm frequencies handy? I can ring 'em up to see if they can't send someone out here with a ground bridge to whisk you to the official Autobot walk-in clinic. I hear they have a good doc here on the planet with them."

[Deleted]

A tiny smile skirted across her lips, he certainly had a way with words. Deuce's grip was so gentle she wouldn't have believed he was even touching her if she wasn't watching him. She remained silent hoping the damage wasn't as severe as it looked.

Her luck did seem to be that good at least.

As he stood she shifted her arm slightly to follow him. No major lines had been clipped and there were quite a few slivers of glass but they could easily be removed. Deuce removed one and held it up for her to see. It caught the moonlight as he casually flicked it to the ground. Shale was just relieved that she wouldn't be losing the limb.

But he wasn't a doctor - clearly. She bit back a laugh as he went on to say he regretted not pursuing the practice before everything went wrong. She'd of course need to see a real medic but for the moment he'd be able to pinch the damaged lines shut.

Comm frequencies?

Shale shifted awkwardly, avoiding his eyes as she replied.

"Sadly no I don't... I kind of waited until right before the exodus to pick a side... I'm pretty terrible at fighting so I tried to stay neutral as long as I could. Didn't work out too well for me I guess."

She shrugged her good shoulder, still not making eye contact with him.

"I'd really appreciate it if you could give them a shout.. please..."

Shale was tired, her body ached, and her HUD was screaming something along the lines of: 'You need to refuel, yesterday dumbaft'. She finally looked up at Deuce and nodded slightly.

"Thanks again..."

One more question was poking around in her head, however she wasn't quite sure how to voice it. Her eyes cast down and she dug her foot into the ground. She hoped he understood the motion and would follow her gaze down as well.

"Hey, what is this stuff?."

[Deleted]

"What is…?"

Deuce regarded her for a moment in confusion before he followed her line of sight to the ground. He watched her toe the earth and his optics widened.

"Oh," he said. "Oh! OHHH. You've never been assigned off-world before, have you? Never been to an organic planet before? Oh man! That is so dope. You are in for a treat, my girl."

He rubbed his hands together in glee. "That's dirt! Or soil, if you want to get science about it. It's a zesty mixture of minerals and organic mineral and little organisms and etcetera that all together support life on Earth. Plants chill out in it. Like that grass beneath us! That's grass, by the way. Spoiler alert. Grass is a plant. Plants are the green things you see growing all around us… or you would see, if it wasn't, you know, dark out. Also you can sit on grass, which is actually rather nice and we should probably do it right now so I can work on your arm."

Deuce motioned to the ground beneath them, then sat down cross-legged. He waved for her to join him.

"Man, if this is your first time on a foreign planet, then I envy you," he said. "There is nothing - nothing! - as thrilling as exploring your first new planet. The first time is always the most exciting. All the weird new species to encounter! The spectacular foreign vistas! The incomprehensible architecture! The first wild dog attack! I wish I could have your brain right now."

Looking moony, he sighed.

[Deleted]

Deuce's face lit up the moment he realized what she was asking about. Shale watched as his optics cycled wider and he rubbed his hands together gleefully, saying she was in for a treat. She was feeling a little overcome with the sudden bombardment of organic life, but listened closely as he explained their current grounding. Dirt. Even the name had an 'Earth' tone to it. A diverse mix of minerals and tiny organic things. She was sure they were far too small to be effected by her but still she moved the tip of her foot out of the soil.

Grass. One of many plant life on Earth. She began wondering how many more there were to be seen, becoming more curious as Deuce gave his impromptu lecture on the basics of the planet. As he parked himself in the grass and motioned for her to as well Shale settled herself beside him, injured arm presented to him once again.

Wow, it did feel nice.

He went on, explaining with great excitement and only a small hint of jealously how thrilling being on a new planet for the very first time was. New species, architecture, environments, and wild dog attacks... Wait. The last one made her face slightly tighten in confusion and worry, but she decided that it wasn't really anything to be worried over. With how relaxed his tone was it couldn't be that bad.

But still the way he put it all made her actually quite excited to be here on this tiny dirt ball. It made her want to know just what made this planet so special. She smiled, the first real one in a very long time.

"The way you put it all sounds amazing. But, uh..."

She paused a slight pull in the corners of her mouth. Shale leaned marginally closer to Deuce as if she was embarrassed by what she had to say or worried someone else might hear.

"What's a dog?"

[Deleted]

"Dogs are assholes!" said Deuce.

He made a face. "Well, okay, the evil brutes that go straight for me are. Dogs don't like my face for some reason. I've lost track of the number of times I've been run off someone's property by dogs. And that was before the security tanks arrived. Thank god maybe, ehh… sixty percent of the dogs I've encountered can't fly. The other forty percent are a real horrorshow."

Deuce trailed off grumbling. He had her arm in one hand now, and was supporting it with a little difficulty as he probed the deep injury with the other. The leaking fuel stained his fingertips and made it difficult to see what he was doing in the dark. His optics brightened as he squinted into the wound. Their orange light illuminated the jagged mess.

"That's better," he said. "Anyway. Dogs! Dogs are, for the most part, a four legged candid species. Here on Earth they're furry, waggy, and like to bark. Humans - the dominant species on the planet - use them for hunting and herding, protection, sniffing out the drugs, and games of Frisbee. They're kind of adorable."

Shale would feel a slight pressure within her injured arm as Deuce gently squeezed something shut using just his fingertips.

"Actually, I'm not sure how old you are, but do you remember turbohounds and turbofoxes from Cybertron?" he said. "This is going back to before the War. Dogs are kinda like the organic version of that. Except for Chihuahuas. I honestly don't know where Chihuahuas came from."

[Deleted]

That hadn't been quite the answer she had been expecting.

Deuce went on and on, following up his 'dogs are assholes' statement with accounts of having them chase him off properties. What did Deuce do in his spare time? She quickly decided to not ask. She winced as he dug around in her arm removing any slivers of glass he could find.

Squinting to see better through the leaking energon he went into a more detailed description of these 'dog' creatures. Another species on this planet, humans, domesticated them for a number of purposes. Apparently these 'humans' were the dominant species around here. She wondered when she would see them for herself.

The pressure made her fingers twitch before settling again. Deuce then explained how dogs were like turbohounds and turbofoxes back home. Shale had only seen a few in her life but it gave her a vague idea of what dogs looked like.

"Vaguely, but I get the general idea."

As he continued applying pressure to one of the lines she would pluck more grass from the dirt under them. Rolling it between her fingers before letting them flutter back down to the soil.

"This will take some getting used to... But it could be worse."

The universe seemed to smile on her right before she crashed on this rock. She wasn't dead, there were still surviving members of their race, and for what it was worth the planet was rather nice to look at. Even if all she could see in the dark was grass. She never really considered herself lucky but she did feel very fortunate right now.

Even if she was bleeding her reserves away at the moment.

[Deleted]

"Yeah, the culture shock is gonna be big," said Deuce. "I won't lie to you about that. But you're right - this could be worse. A lot worse. Earth is kind of a backwaters planet, but it's not a bad place to be all things considering. And the movies here are great. I recommend Pulp Fiction. And the entire original Star Wars trilogy. It is a hoot."

There was another subtle nip as he crushed the severed end of another line. A crude way to do repairs, but at least Shale would be able to diagnose a reduction in the rate of her energon loss. It hadn't subsided, but bit by bit it was becoming a little less critical.

Deuce leaned over her arm. Now that he was intimately close - and showed no signs of being shy about intruding upon her personal space - she might detect a slight roughness to his voice, a pinch between his optics that spoke of either weariness or pain. The fingers of his right hand moved stiffly, and he paused to shake them often with the occasional wince.

But he continued to speak with the same relaxed aplomb.

"I'm going to try to get a hold of the Autobots," he said. "I've got an old frequency in my little black book, I'll give it a shot. Maybe I'll get lucky and get Optimus Prime himself on the horn. Wouldn't that be great? He's got an epic voice. I'm dying to hear it over the radio. It'd be like getting a phone call from the President, as portrayed by Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact. Hail to the Chief, baby!"

Deuce winked at her and opened his commline.

"Ayy, Autobots," he said. "I appreciate this is an older party line, but I'm sitting here with one of your own next to her crashed ship. Anybody on this frequency?"

[Deleted]

Culture shock was right. Shale honestly felt a little drowned in all the new sights, sounds, and words which she didn't know the meanings of. But Deuce assured her that was alright and all things considered this planet was one of the best to end up on. He then went on suggesting several 'movies' for her.

She would ask but not only was he preoccupied at the moment she was sure she'd find out later.

Deuce's sudden closeness made her slightly uncomfortable but she was quick to notice him. Specifically the furrow between his eyes, his right hand moving stiffly, and how he would take every other moment to shake the limb loose again.

"Is your arm injured?"

Shale asked softly as her fingers twitched again when he pinched off another line. Slowly but surely the bleeding was coming to a halt, thank g goodness. Deuce then attempted to make contact with the other Autobots, making a comment about maybe getting the Prime himself on the line. She had never heard him before let alone seen him. She couldn't help but get her hopes up.

The President? Morgan Freeman? Who were these people? Questions for later. For now she tried to focus on getting herself patched up. Shale gently held into her arm as Deuce made contact rubbing her limb almost thoughtfully. Just what - or who - would be waiting for her? She was feeling tired, but whether it was from being pelted with startling amounts of information or from her bleeding she didn't know.

She just wanted to rest somewhere that wasn't a smoking wreck. And get as far away from broken glass as she could.

[Bluestreak]

Deuce's call across the frequency was met with a long, static silence.

Then, there was a soft click click click as the line opened and connected.

The silence was quickly broken.

"Wow... this really is an old comm channel. Seriously, this thing is a bit ancient, huh! Hmmm, kind of neat, really, it's like the comm equivlent of of those super way-back vids well okay it's not really that bad, just a bit behind the times and oh gosh sorry, hey, uh, so - yep, I'm on this frequency. Wait, downed Autobot?"

Bluestreak was on night duty. Well, not really duty. It was more like well he had nothing else today. He'd been out on patrol earlier; all was quiet. No sign of MECH, which was a good thing. Good and bad - good in that they weren't out, bad in that he was pretty sure that it meant they were waiting to take a dangerous run at folks. Rules were rules; he'd gone out with one of his fellow Autobots and they'd driven the grid, brought the report back, but...

Wasn't the same though, without Wash. Wash and him - well, he'd enjoyed seeing the city streets with Wash. The mech knew all these things about the world about the humans; follow his lead and you learned more than a hundred hours of constant television.

As usual though, even though he thought he'd worked himself pretty good today, Bluestreak couldn't shut down tonight; he'd torn apart his rifle and cleaned it, then done it again for good measure, calibrating it twice. Watched some television - Property Brothers was running a marathon and although he'd seen the one with the wood interior wall about fifteen times this season, he'd watched it for the sixteenth. It was a very nice wall. Maple was one of those woods that got burnished to that wonderful tone if you sanded it a whole bunch of times and lacqured over it.

When that hadn't helped, he'd gotten up and wandered the hall he'd taken it on himself to clean stuff. He'd mopped a floor earlier- because it needed it, and no one else had done it. Then he'd offered to take comm duty and give the mech there a break. Really, he hadn't expected anyone to need him, much less this sort of call.

"I mean, yeah, I hear you, uh, you've got a downed Autobot and a crashed ship?" he reiterated. "Hey, who are you?"

[Deleted]

Deuce light-heartedly waved aside Shale's question.

"Yeah, I buggered it up a bit earlier today," he said. "It's nothing serious. Alas, as a Neutral I don't exactly have a medical provider standing by to patch up dings and scrapes. But fortunately minor stuff like this tends to take care of itself courtesy of self-repair systems. Unless I'm just getting robo arthritis in my old age, in which case I'm totally screwed."

He looked tragic at that.

"But hey! I've got good news for you." Deuce grinned at her. "I've managed to get one of your Autobot chums on the line. Here, stand-by a moment, I'll get you both together on the party line. You'll be able to explain your situation to him a lot more quickly and efficiently than I could. Just one sec and I'll link us all up."

His expression grew slightly preoccupied as he opened another channel. An instant later the connection was neatly made; Shale would be able to hear Bluestreak's voice over her internal comm - and Bluestreak hers.

"I am so goddamned good," said Deuce. He spoke over the joined line. "Lily Tomlin would weep in envy. Hello, responding Autobot! I am Deuce, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht. I am sitting here beside a Miss Shale, a recent arrival to Earth. The lovely lady and I are tending to her injured arm while the remains of her ship smoulders away behind us. I'll let her relay her coordinates to you, along with any other Autobotish information she deems pertinent to the situation, but I have to warn you: I saw her first."

Another good-natured wink to Shale.