We are a literate, intermediate to advanced AU Transformers RPG Based off of the first season of TFP with dashes of other incarnations sprinkled here or there. Characters from any continuity are welcome however must be restyled to match the TFPrime universe.
Active, with ongoing plotlines, we are always willing to integrate new characters into storylines once incorporated into the setting.
<<Shadow/Optimus; set at some point after Gravitational Singularity>>
She shouldn't be here.
Autobot Outpost Omega One would never be home. That hadn't changed, despite the cycles Shadow had spent trying and failing to reconcile the events in Africa with cohort. This wasn't home, she didn't belong, but she was...needed, for the time being. Wanted. And some part of her wanted to stay.
Staying meant dealing with the consequences of her abrupt departure from the neutral base.
And delaying was not going to make things easier, even if Prime himself had thus far ignored her return. Which was why Shadow asked Steeljaw to inform her when Prime appeared to have time to deal with a minor internal issue, and then settled herself outside of his office to wait.
The Prime's heavy tread alerted her of his approach before Steeljaw pinged her, and Shadow straightened to a parade rest, field modulated smooth. She raised her optics as Prime rounded the corner, fixing them on a point just above his shoulder rather than looking at him directly.
Her voice was smooth and unreadable. "Shadowrunner. Reporting for disciplinary action, sir."
The first thing Optimus thought, when he came around the corner and found Shadow standing there – military stiff, EM field flat to the black and chrome of her bodyshell – was that she looked smaller than he remembered. This was, of course, not the case. Shadowrunner was, physically, as she had been on the day she out ran him into the Sahara. If the recalcitrant spec-agent was, in any other way, different then he doubted very much he would know about it any time soon… if ever. Her return had happened with his clearance but without his physical presence – the report that she’d agreed to return came in around the same time Optimus found himself tasked with explaining to Fowler the finer details of the Neutral Zone. He’d signed off on it, kept tabs via Jazz and Ironhide on Shadowrunner’s condition – but that was not exactly a reliable source.
The Prime folded his arms, engine noise settling somewhat to an even idle as he looked at her.
“Shadowrunner, you abandoned your post at Omega One and your duties to the Autobots stationed herein. The circumstances of your AWOL status – the situation at the Neutral Base in addition to the voluntary status of the Earth-based effort on this world – will be taken into account but you are an Autobot and as such will be treated as a solider. Is that understood?” He paused a moment to let her react, then, expression perfectly neutral, “You're restricted to base unless assigned otherwise by myself or a commanding officer. You will report to Ratchet on a schedule of his choosing until such a time as he clears you completely. Furthermore, you will take extra monitor and patrol with Bumblebee for the next two months.”
Another pause to let her parse that.
"I also need you to tell me what happened on the Neutral Base and why. You have permission, in this instance, to speak freely." His tone shifted slightly. "I need you, not someone else, to explain it."
Shadow's optics were the only thing that betrayed her surprise, flicking their gaze from some safely indeterminate point beyond the Prime up to his face. His expression was as unreadably smooth as her own, offering no insight into the inexplicably light punishment. Or his interest in what had happened at the neutral base, much of which he had been present for.
"I have no defense for my actions at the DMZ, sir." In the absence of any visible cues, she fell back to the bare struts of a report, glyphs sharply formal and devoid of any of the emotional chaos of those two days. "Ironhide requested assistance with installation work at the neutral base; I was off duty and agreed to go. Upon discovering Megatron on site, Ironhide reported his presence to you and the base was locked down. To Autobot traffic, at least."
Carefully controlled exvent, optics shifting back to that safe spot beyond Prime's shoulder. "Subsequent to this, Barricade arrived to return Megatron to the Nemesis. I had believed Barricade dead, and I permitted him to use our...shared history...to goad me. I both exposed the Autobots to accusations of violating the terms of the DMZ, and abandoned my position in what threatened to become a hostile zone. I understand that the severity of these acts is inexcusable. Sir."
“There is much about what happened at the Neutral Base that was inexcusable,” said Optimus, turning into his office. He could feel the other Autobot follow quietly behind, EM field still muted against his back. “Your actions were not least among them, but you were not alone, nor entirely at fault for what happened there. I am disinclined to lay the majority of the blame at your feet when so many deserving parties present themselves. And, since I am not excusing you, I will set aside the protocol that you broke and the trust you betrayed because, primarily, I need you more active than I need you staring at the inside of a closet.”
His tone changed then, softening slightly as he moved to close the door behind them, turning to look at her again.
“And secondarily I do not believe, at this stage in the war, that I can afford to behave as though we are not all carrying long histories. And all that come with them.” The Prime’s optics held hers. The florescent overheads buzzing overhead. “I did not know that Barricade was responsible for the Lucky Thirteen. For that, Shadowrunner, I am sorry. And for the situation that arose at the Neutral Base – it was a lack of foresight on my part. As I said, not all the responsibility lies with you, but I need you to tell me.” His great weight shifted slightly, engines idly quietly. “Will it happen again? This vendetta with Barricade: is it going to cripple your judgment every time he shows his face?”
Last Edit: Mar 10, 2013 23:46:24 GMT -5 by Deleted
There was no censure in the Prime's voice, but Shadow still flinched inwardly when he mentioned the trust she, too, had betrayed. That she had been wrong in her beliefs about cohort, about what was and was not owed between them, was not at issue; she had believed, and her own belief meant that she had owed them better. Ironhide had forgiven her betrayal, completely and without hesitation; Prime stood ready to give her to opportunity to redeem herself.
The fact of her own actions still ached in her spark, counterpoint to the loss which was no longer focused, entirely, on the Lucky Thirteen.
The door slid shut, and Shadow relaxed, enough to Prime catch and hold her gaze when he turned. Something like understanding softened the ice blue of his optics; his voice, modulated around the name of her unit in subharmonics of regret and respect, offered unexpected comfort.
He hadn't known. Shadow had closed the unit file with no report, no details, just thirteen names marked killed in action. Far more closure than many of their dead would ever receive.
Prime waited for her answer, calm, patient, while Shadow weighed her reply. Could she promise that Barricade would not always be a weak point? Could she honestly say that her judgement would not be clouded by a roomful of greyed out frames every time the infiltrator showed his face?
"We all have long histories," she said, the words coming slow, careful; she would not give him an answer she couldn't live up to, regardless of whether it was the answer he wanted to hear. "I can't promise that my reactions to Barricade won't be colored by what he's done, sir. I can only promise that I will try to exercise better judgement than I showed in Africa."
“Thank you for that,” said Optimus, the frequency chord in his tone sincere. His attention did not, however, relax. “But I will need slightly more than your word to try harder, Shadowrunner. I do not know you so well as to trust in that alone and Barricade broke your ties to this team once already. If it was someone other than Barricade, if it were not so unforgivably personal and if our history together were more than these months on an alien world, then maybe I would leave it lie with your word.” He shook his head slightly. “Not this time though. Not when Megatron and his lieutenants have these skies.”
A slight pause, then:
“You are not the only one on my team I have had to ask this of. So do not think this is solely based upon your recent actions in the field; I simply cannot exclude you from the same scrutiny I give members of my own team. I ask you what I asked of them: Can you make this promise or can’t you? If Barricade is the limit, your limit, then I need to know now if you are going to remain on this team. He will make a weakness out of you, Shadowrunner, if he can.” His tone held no judgment, but it did hold a weight that might have seemed, to many, as immovable as a gravity well in the void. “If it is not yet done between you, I understand, but I need to know.”
Shadow nodded. "I understand. I wish I could promise you more," she said, surprised to find she meant it. "But Barricade...things won't be finished between us until one of us is deactivated and stays that way." Bitterness tinged the words, but she let them stand, making no effort to ameliorate her reaction.
"Barricade won't be able to take me by surprise like that again, but..." She exvented, forcing the words out against a function worth of conditioning that demanded she not admit weakness outside of her cohort. Outside of the Thirteen. "Barricade is my limit, sir, but I don't intend to let him make me a liability." Another vent cycle, old loyalties protesting the formation of new. "Whatever you need from me on behalf of your team here, I will give you to the best of my ability."
Optimus nodded slightly, EM field losing some of its tight modulation, relaxing into a slightly less controlled wavelength around his frame. “I will hold you to that,” he said, evenly. “And as such, I owe you another apology, Shadow. However tenuous it may seem to you either in light of the events on the Neutral Base, or as a whole since you joined us here on earth – you are part of this team and as such are owed more perhaps than I’ve given you. While you are part of our unit my promise to you is that Barricade will pay for what he’s done and I am sorry I could not…”
He paused a moment, as though weighing the words in his hand – their implication and if he should…
“I am sorry I did not take him offline when I had the chance, Shadow. It changes nothing, but I want you to know that much.”
Last Edit: Mar 12, 2013 15:08:35 GMT -5 by Deleted
Shadow looked at him, a single unguarded moment of pain and loss before her field and expression smoothed back into impenetrability.
"Executing Barricade was...not something you could do without a trial. I understand you had no choice in the matter. But I...thank you for your apology."
Whether she believed him, in light of all that had happened, was a matter she kept locked within her own processor. But it helped to hear the words, sincere or not.
Last Edit: Mar 14, 2013 17:37:14 GMT -5 by Deleted
“It is the least that I owe you,” said Optimus simply. His gaze averted momentarily away before flicking back, the hum of internal hydraulics quieting as the Prime shifted his weight slightly, not quite restlessly. Looking at Shadow, he could have left it at that, but felt that it would be… a disservice done. “Just because it is my duty does not mean that the consequences are not mine. No decision is without repercussion and the responsibility is mine for all that Barricade does now that he walks the world again.”
His tone, now grim, had taken on an edge.
“Little as it is said – saving a life carries just as much consequence as ending one. What you leave in the world keeps walking and to destinations you do not foresee.”
"You aren't really the reason Barricade is still alive and walking, though, are you?" Anger welled through Shadow's field, the words bitter and hate-tinged. "Cleaver's the one who values Decepticon lives above ours. She's the one who couldn't just leave Barricade dead. Whatever he does next is on her, not you."
She realized her words a sparkbeat to late to stop them, and couldn't make herself regret what she'd said. She did, however, still have the presence of mind to force her field back under control, locking her emotions down along with it. "I mean..." She hesitated, then shook her head. "No sir, I'm sorry, but that's exactly what I mean."
“Many have had a hand in Barricade’s survival,” said Optimus a little more quietly this time. “All who have failed to kill him before me, the Decepticons who keep him functional, the neutral factions who allow him passage with no knowledge of his history. The responsibility for his four-million year run against our brothers and sisters is not something that is owed to a single person, Cybertronian or otherwise.” The electric blue of his optics in the hall light seemed to flicker inwardly. “That does not mean that I, or Cleaver…” Here he looked pointedly at Shadow. “…are not responsible for his survival now. It only makes us the most recent to fail in stopping him.”
He did not look away, but there was nothing harsh in the Prime’s tone only… regretful.
“He is not the only Decepticon, in my history, that could have been stopped long before they reached their zenith. In my experience, it does little good to hold to… missed opportunity. We can only try to not make the same mistake twice.”
"Yes, sir," Shadow said quietly. She would not look away, in spite of the reminder of her own failure to stop Barricade. "I should have seen to it that Barricade was dead when I had him. Cleaver never should have had the chance to resurrect him."
She wanted to pace, move, escape the weight of responsibility, of lives lost, settling back onto her frame, but her stance didn't change, and her field didn't reflect her inner conflict as she stubbornly held Prime's gaze. "I shouldn't be surprised that you understand. Megatron...he's your Barricade, isn't he?"
“Yes,” said Optimus. His gaze did not waver. “He is.”
The Prime moved past Shadow, briefly laying a hand on her shoulder, before crossing the room to his desk. It was actually his desk, point of fact, the one from the Ark. That had survived the crash somehow, of all things, his desk jammed in the cargo hold when so many things of importance had been ripped into the void of space, vaporized in atmo burn, or lost in the crash itself. But this desk… somehow made it through, with a few old data pads still intact, jammed in the bottom of the drawers. Notes from centuries past about some cargo run to a city that was dust.
He ran the flat of his palm into a dent at the far left hand corner, where Ironhide had once vented his irritation by abusing the Prime’s desk. It was a familiar shape, the gesture habitual from the war, pacing the length of his desk and mapping the damage with his hands. He let his hand rest in the fist-shaped crater for a moment, not looking at Shadowrunner.
“You are not responsible for Barricade.” He looked at Shadow. “Megatron chose his path. As did Barricade. You cannot shoulder the blame for his actions. I promise you, it is what he wants you to do. It is so much easier for him if you take the weight of his sins, Shadow. Even if you truly feel they are yours to shoulder… you cannot. Because it will slow you down… and he will use it to kill you.” He held her stare. “Do you understand?”
Shadow's servos flexed with the desire to curl into fists. "How do I not? I left him alive. Cleaver brought him back, but I didn't make sure of the kill," she said steadily. "He destroyed everything that mattered to me, and I couldn't stop him. Not on the ship, not here on Earth. My cohort will never have justice; how am I supposed to accept that no one is at fault for that?"
However it might sound to the Prime, it was a sincere question. Because he was right: any edge she gave Barricade would simply hasten her own death, hand Barricade a victory he had no right to. "Megatron, Barricade, all of the Cons, chose their paths, but we chose the path to stop them. And I failed. Twice." For the first time, her voice wavered. "How am I not supposed to carry the weight of everything Barricade has done since?"