Ep. 1.5 Fresh and Piney [Open]

[Deleted]

B-Dump was surprised by Tailgate's bolt for the entrance. Despite being in the early stages of drunkenness, the bitlet moved like a turbofox from its hole, and was quickly speeding up and out the entryway. There was a snort as he hollered for Buffalo Dump to follow him, and the larger mech waved him off.

"Go on ahead, lil' bit," said B-Dump. "Be right behind ya in a moment."

When Tailgate went ahead, the mech would look back over at his barkeep. "I'll keep an eye on him. Thanks for the drinks, Layby." B-Dump would then lumber towards the entrance, slow and steady with his obvious weight — each step swung as he moved, footsteps reverberating. He reflexively ducked his helm under as the doorway was approached; even if Haven's passages could accommodate him, B-Dump was used to whacking his noggin. His "horns" looked silly when he dented them up, and with the pain from his optic, he wasn't keen on smacking into anything any time soon. It happened on the Nemesis all the time.

He kept low as he moved down the exit-way, not standing to his full height until he reached the light of the sun. His bad optic twinged, and he held one hand over his eyes to block out the sun. Tailgate was a blue-and-white speck on the nearby dune; B-Dump watched as he tried to skid down, only to trip and tumble head-over-heels down the sand. The big mech's EMF flared with alarm, and he broke out into a jog as Tailgate reached a bottom.

"Ya all right, lil' bit?" the waste-worker asked, leaning down to get a better look at Tailgate. His EMF was tinged with don't-be-so-reckless, B-Dump frowning in concern at his drinking partner.

"Oh my Primus that was awesome! 'S like landing on a cloud! I didn't feel a thing!" Tailgate said as he cackled with laughter. He began to sweep his arms and legs in wide sweeping arcs.

"Look! I'm making sand angels!" He giggled. "Your turn, Dumpy!"

"...Sand...angels?"

Buffalo Dump leaned further, coming into a crouch to get a better look. A few servos reached out to trace the outline of a "wing"; B-Dump couldn't see the "angels" Tailgate mentioned. The great, curving figures reminded him of wide Seekers, and the invitation to join in was met with more concern.

"Ya...sure that's a good idea?" he asked. "What about your vents? Can ya circulate okay?"

With all of the weight he was putting on his crouch, he hadn't noticed that he had begun to sink into the sand. If it was pointed out to him, he would looked down, straighten back up, and yank his pedes out in a cloud of greyish-yellow grit.

[Deleted]

"I'm fine, Dumpy! Quit worryin', I'm sturdier than I look."

Tailgate noticed the massive bot actually begin to sink into the sand he was crouching in.

"Actually, you should be worried 'bout yourself there," He said as he flicked a few fingers in the direction of of his sinking knees. While Tailgate was relatively light enough to stay on top of the sand, Buffalo Dump was far too dense.

"Looks like we'll have to stay moving unless you wanna choke on sand...oh, I know!"The small bot shot up from the sand. He wiped the lingering sand off of his chassis. Little rivulets of sand trickled down from cracks between plating.

"Let's do some dune driving!" Tailgate whooped. "I bet a bot like you can get some mean air."

Metallic plates shifted and rotated in a flurry as Tailgate transformed into his sleek sports car altmode. The engine revved loudly. The car backed up, then turned toward the closest dune as fast as he could without losing traction.

"Lastonetothetopisarottenturbofox!"

A cloud of pine fresh exhaust lingered behind.

[Deleted]

Buffalo Dump stared. His optical shutters fluttered a couple of times, blinking fresh sand from his eyes as the rest settled on his armour. Watching the bitlet tear up the dune, his pedes beginning to disappear into the beige grit again, the mech yelled, "Hey! Hey wait!" before giving a heavy exvent of pine — it drifted and whistled over the sands as a desert wind blew. In a flurry of snapping, creaking parts, the giant waste-worker became an equally giant waste-truck, revving heavily before flying up the sands at full speed.

Now, B-Dump was no sports car. Unlike the nimbler Tailgate, who would find it easy to cruise and fly over the dunes, the garbage mech's wheels chewed and spat out landscape like a shredder. He dug deep trenches into the side of the fragile hill, huffing and heaving with all his might; it took a lot of effort not to sink or tumble over. B-Dump wasn't sure if he could pull himself out if he fell.

To make matters worse, he wasn't graceful. Instead of sliding to a quick, smooth stop at the top of the hill, B-Dump shattered the top into millions of flying grains, half-pummeling through and half tripping over it. He skidded down the side of the hill, rolling once, then twice. He slid the rest of the way down, coughing and spitting as he shifted back to his bipedal form; he hit the ground on one knee. One servo was a clenched fist, hacking hard onto his digits as his other sunk into the ground for support. More sand spat from his vents in clouds, and he had to take a few, deep in-vents to steady himself.

Once his circulation had purged itself, Buffalo Dump slowly stood up, brushed himself off, and looked at Tailgate.

"SORRY ABOUT THAT! I'm okay!"

[Deleted]

Tailgate just stared at the colossal bot before him. Sand whipped out of his vents as he tried to vacate the pipes of any debris. The bot apologized profusely but Tailgate saw no reason for the bot to be apologizing.

"That," He said, raising his arms high. "Was the best thing I've seen all week!"

He waddled over to Buffalo Dump, carefully so he would not stumble in the thick sand.

"You sir, have a great potential," Tailgate announced stoically. "My good friend, have you ever heard of a dune buggy?"

The bot did not wait for an answer. Instead he jumped over to Buffal Dump's side and placed a hand on his shoulder. His other hand pointed out over the dunes, fingers spread wide.

"It's a glorious sporting vehicle that humans invented for one purpose. I'll spare you the details. See, you get in this strong vehicle and race up the dunes real quick like. When you reach the apex, you gun it! And then you fly over the dunes like a Seeker! Well...for a few seconds. But the sand's soft, so the landing's pain free! Oh, it'll be AWESOME. Whaddya say, Dumpy? You're altmode is hefty enough to charge up those dunes. I'll ride in the back, so you don't have to worry 'bout little ol' me getting hurt. Sound good?"

His hands were a flurry as he made exaggerated motions towards the horizon. The floor cleaner had really done its number on Tailgate's systems. Tailgate was no stranger to high grade as it was one of the ways he took his mind off things back on Cybertron. Yet the pine stuff was unlike anything he had had. While he outwardly was not too drunken, besides the occasional puff of pine scent, the effects on his internal systems were beginning to affect his mentality. He knew his body was still sore from his unfortunate landing roughly a week ago and the Autobot medic had warned him against strenuous activity, but Tailgate was just having too much fun.

Tailgate hoped the kindly Buffalo Dump would not put a damper on his thirst for fun. Primus knew he needed to liven up his life.

[Deleted]

The giant mech stood to his full height. Buffalo Dump tilted his head, staring at Tailgate like the bitlet had grown a second one.

"Dune...buggy?"

The rest of the drunk (and quite possibly high) 'bot's plan was laid bare, and to B-Dump, it sounded insane. In fact, it was more than insane, as he shouldn't have even been exerting himself in the first place! Knock Out had specifically told him to take it easy after his hit from Fortress Maximus himself — between his disgusted comments about B-Dump's clouded energon, he mentioned coolant lines loose. Something about fuel lines being dislodged and cracking open. Nothing the good doctor couldn't fix, but something that B-Dump wasn't supposed to aggravate or have happen again soon.

But...the little 'bot had offered to ride in the back. He hadn't had anyone ask for a ride in vorns. His mouth made a little "o" as he tried to say something, but nothing came from his vox. He rubbed the back of his head, field and face one of confounded contemplation.

It didn't help that Tailgate was reaaally starting to remind him of the minibots he had called "cohort".

"...On a smaller dune, first," said B-Dump. "I have to fight a lot o' draggin' down when I'm a truck. Heavy an' slow, not all sleek and fancy like you, lil' bit."

He patted Tailgate gently on the head.

"But if I can get a good grip, I'll try a bigger one."

Shooting the last bits of sand out of his vents, the mech inhaled deeply. With a squeeze shut of the optical shudders, he became a flurry of parts again, green and white glinting in the desert sun. When he was a garbage truck again, his engine rumbled with a puff of pine-scented exhaust, forks extending forward to give Tailgate a lift up.

"Hop aboard."

[Deleted]

The eagerness that popped up on Tailgate's face might have been mistaken for a seizure, he was that excited.

Unable to contain his excitement the bot did a spontaneous little jig.

And promptly ran around to Buffalo Dump's back. He knew his manners, even if buzzed off his rocker. It's rude to plod all over the front end of someone's altmode. He might have been a waste disposal bot but he was coded with manners, at least. Grabbing onto some struts on the back to hoist himself up, he paused suddenly. This was the first time he had actually been on a fellow Cybertronian in altmode before. The naive bot did not know the way one would go about in this situation. An embarrassing thought trickled into brain module. What if....what if he was touching....oh Primus.

Yanking one hand off a strut, he laughed nervously.

"Uh, huh, I uh, hope I'm not, y'know, invading. Haven't really done this before."

Tailgate did not wish to stay around on the back end to Buffalo Dump to find out. He clambered up as fast as he could in his inebriated state and hopped into the compartment. Tailgate shimmied towards the front, grabbing onto the rim to brace himself.

"Anyway," Tailgate said, trying to move away from the awkward subject. "I say we hit that dune first. Start small, work big! WOO!" Tailgate was practically bouncing in place.

[Deleted]

Yanking one hand off a strut, he laughed nervously.

"Uh, huh, I uh, hope I'm not, y'know, invading. Haven't really done this before."

"Oh no, not at — "

He paused when he felt Tailgate's pace quicken, the bitlet scrambling up B-Dump like he was a steep cliff face. Before the other spoke again, and after he had nearly finished settling himself, the waste-worker continued with, "Not at all, lil' bit. My cab folds to my back and my hopper to my front; you're climbin' up my storage space. Everything gets subbed when I switch over, but when I ain't, it all goes into my front-trunk. Handy bit o' codin' responsible for that."

The big mech wiggled his hopper back and forth, backing up with the steady beep, beep, beep his alt-mode used as a warning. Orange and red lights flashing, Buffalo Dump revved his engine once, then twice; his tires spun, kicking up sand like a minotoron did as it readied a charge. Something of his hissed, and he threw all his weight forward — even with the sand providing drag, the force might have knocked Tailgate over a little.

In a great cloud of spinning grey-beige, the mighty machine charged up a hill. Though there was no Autobrander in front of him, B-Dump gave a great battle cry as if there was. The sound mixed into and trailed off into a loud honking, horn blaring as he ascended the dune like a great, green-and-white beast. When he hit the top, he clipped and punched through the top with his grille, dragging his wheels enough that a chunk of dune was taken with him on the way down.

Beeeeeep BEEEEEEEEEEP! went the horn again, pine-scented exhausted mixed with the dry scent of churned desert. The truck spun to the side at a halt, then began to back up again as his engine growled in anticipation. His movements were careful, though, in case Tailgate had been jostled by the ride; there was a lot of hollow space in B-Dump's hopper, but not many places to hold on. The rim was the best grip most would have.

[Deleted]

The sudden jerk of the truck's acceleration in the stubborn sand pitched Tailgate back but the little bot hung on. There was no doubt that Buffalo Dump's altmode was a power horse of strength as it churned through the sand. The speed could have used some adjustment though. Yet that did not matter as the truck approached the dune's precipice. As Buffalo Dump let out his battle cry in the form of honking and whooping, Tailgate himself joined in the shouting.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

The truck finally came to the top. And as the heavy truck barreled on, it finally left the dune.

And sailed over the sand in an arch. But gravity is not kind on a dense garbage truck and guest. The truck's arch came to end when the front end lurch into the sand. Sand erupted from all sides and showered over Buffalo Dump and Tailgate. When the back end finally met with the ground the truck gave a great heave. The engine throttled and the wheels spun furiously to find traction. Inertia was not to kind either. The impact threw Tailgate back and jostled him around in Buffalo Dump's compartment. Luckily, the bot was thrown off and managed stay in. Tailgate stumbled up, grasping the sides to hoist himself up. Dazed, but not out.

"Again," He breathed "Let's do that again! Go for that one, Dumpy!" He pointed eagerly to a nearby dune, taller than the last by at least ten feet.

[Deleted]

The dump truck's biolights flickered, beeping loudly as he ground backwards to aim. With a flick of his wheels once more, the 'bot ex-vented loudly, and then charged forward as fast as he could. He may have not been able to go more than 70 MPH, but Primus if he wasn't gunning it up that hill. Sand flew everywhere as his hopper rattled around, the garbage mech cresting another hill and bouncing all the way down.

Honk HOOOOOOOOONK!

A small lizard scurried out of the way, barely avoiding Buffalo Dump as he spun and slid down the hill. When he reached the bottom, he didn't stop — the massive mech swung around and sprayed sand in a doughnut. Sallying forth like a great warhorse, Tailgate his petite (and rather springy, from what he could tell) mount, the truck charged over another dune. This one was much steeper, and as B-Dump spun to the side, he almost tipped over with enough momentum to land upside-down. His wheels managed to find traction, much grinding into the sand ensuing as he steadied himself; the mech slid backwards the rest of the way down.

B-Dump's hydraulics hissed as he ventilated heavily, trying to throw off heat from the effort, sand everywhere in the Cybertronian equivalent of the nose and lungs. The only thing that stopped him was a rising wall of cliff, which he tapped into with a loud bang. He gave an abrupt honk of surprise, then wiggled his hopper around like a sore fist.

"Ya...ya all right, lil' bit?"

A spurt of sand erupted from Buffalo Dump's tailpipe.

[Deleted]

Sand battered Tailgate's optical mask as the massive tires whipped it up from the truck's tires. He could barely see but it didn't matter. The lack of visibility only made it that much more exhilarating. He'd never see the drop coming! Anticipation of the leap was building. And then....

Tailgate hadn't even noticed they had left the ground. The fact that his feet had left the surface of Buffalo Dump's compartment had not even alerted him to it. Probably his drunkenness kicking in. Oh, but he felt the landing, that was for sure. Once more he was banged and bumped around.

When all the jiggling around was over, Tailgate felt sand all over him. And with every move he felt the small particles grinding between his plates. But Tailgate was simply lying back in Buffalo Dump's container laughing hysterically. That dune had, by far, been the most exciting. His spark buzzed with joy. Buffalo Dump's honk brought him back from euphoria.

"Ya...ya all right, lil' bit?"

The sand puffing out of Buffalo Dump's pipe was concerning. Tailgate was having so much fun he didn't realize what kind of jeopardy he was putting his new friend in. He scrambled to his feet and leaned over the side of Buffalo Dump's container.

"I'm fine, Dumpy!" Tailgate said reassuringly, patting the side of the truck. "How 'bout you, big guy? You okay? we can stop anytime if you're not feeling up to it." Something was tickling Tailgate's vents. It irritated him enough until he gave a little sneeze and sand shot out of his vents in a fine mist. Looked like Tailgate probably was reaching his limit too. And he was beginning to feel the third stage of drunkenness: lethargy. He could just curl up and pass out for the next day or two.

But he was not going out without one last final bang.

"Tell ya what, Dumpster." Tailgate said with a hint of a slur. "We'll do one big finale, and call it quits. For now, hehehehe."

[Deleted]

"Oh...I got some left in me," B-Dump said with a chuckle. He coughed, nearly breathless from exertion and his contaminated vents, but he'd had worse. "You just gotta hold on there, lil' bit. They don't call me Buffalo Dump fer nothin'."

Once, when Cybertron was still lit and not yet in two, he'd tried giving rides for the fun of it. Not to take drunks home, not to transport 'bots too injured to walk to a doctor, but to simply give others a cheap way to have fun. They had travelled to some backwater, rust-infested little spot in the middle of nowhere, full of hills natural and scrap-made, and tried a few jumps.

Needless to say, his first attempts were disastrous, with his back shocks nearly breaking and his tires sliced from jagged ground. It had been painful, it had been terrifying, and it had been fun — his minibots had whooped and cheered. The other Dead-Enders they had invited had begged him to do it again, and he managed to clear a five-foot jump before his back end finally gave out. His bosses had given him hell for that, but they had returned many times afterwards.

Tailgate would definitely had fit into the motley cohort B-Dump had found for himself. For that reason, he threw himself into reverse, wheels screeching as he drove backwards into a pile of loose sand. With another thunderous honk, he lurched forward with creaking hydraulics, barreling up a dune with as much go as he had. Over one crest did he fly, skidding down to race up another —

HONK!

And another —

HONK HOOOOONK!

And another.

HONK HONK FYOOOM!

Tailgate would probably be as rattled as a stone when B-Dump went spinning down that final hill. Now he had to stop; there was the sharp reek of overheating internals coming from him, and a couple of coughs puffed smoke from his hood. There was enough of the desert in his systems to warrant error messages, and he was venting furiously to try and clear them. With another hacking cough, he tried to rev forward again, but his engine protested with another puff of smoke.

Knock Out was going to kill him.

"I think...think that's enough for today.... Caack!"

[Deleted]

Buffalo Dump's sudden peppy attitude was unexpected. Honestly, Tailgate did not know that the big bot had that much energy in him after that. The truck took off at blazing speeds. Tailgate was once more tossed back. Back and forth he rattled as Buffalo Dump surged forth through the dunes. Tailgate was whooping with joy but the sounds were drowned out by Buffalo Dump's tremendous honks.

Again and again the truck was violently shaken as it leaped over a dune. And with a sputtering stop, Buffalo Dump's charge ended. Tailgate's backside had flipped over him with his legs dangling over his head as he lay on his stomach. He flopped himself back over and wobbled as he rose.

"I think...think that's enough for today.... Caack!"

Tailgate couldn't agree more. His head ached from all the tossing and probably the drinks. He had enough sand between his plates to fill a sandbox. The fun had been had and now the recovery began. The bot shimmied over to the side of the compartment.

"Yeah, big guy, I think so, hic, too." Tailgate eased one leg over the side of the compartment as he tried to clamber down. In his inebriation he completely forgot about the struts at the back to use to climb down. He swung the other leg over and....promptly toppled head first into the sand.

Plunk.

Squirming feet were all that stuck out of the hot sand. Muffled sounds could be heard from the agitated sand. With a mighty heave, the bot pulled himself out, now further covered in sand.

"GUH!" Tailgate gasped. "I should, head back. You too, Dumpy." The bot stood and braced himself against the truck's side. He patted the green metal.

"This was fun, Dumpster. A lot of fun." He drawled. "We should do this...more often."






"Thanks for the ride, Dumpy. I really needed today." Pivoting away, the bot headed back to Haven, slow enough so that Buffalo Dump may transform and walk with him back.





He couldn't just leave a friend behind, after all.



(END)