EP 1.5 That's Not a Knife. (OPEN)

[Deleted]

Middle of Week 1

It was not the smoothest start to the ride, and it surely weren’t the fastest ride either, but Kit made the most of a bad situation.

Only Primus knew why everything had turned to Slagging Scrap. She had been travelling on a starship, a couple of orders of magnitude larger than the tiny escape pod she was now in. She had awoke to sirens blaring, fire raging, and vacuum sucking everything else away. Her small size and agility in the chaotic mess was her saving grace.

Kitandcaboodle was the first in her escape pod. By the time the doors sealed on their own and the pod launched, she was also the last and only passenger. Of course it had to launch right into debris. The damage was a mixed bag, mostly it came down to structural damage, which Kit could repair, and the communication antenna array being wiped clean away. Nothing Kit could do about that.

In between recharge cycles, Kit fixed the structural damage, A: because she could, B: she wouldn’t survive atmospheric re-entry if she didn’t. But nobody would know she was coming, she could not send or receive any communication.

Slowly across the vastness of space, the pod made it journey to the preset destination, some technologically backwater planet supposedly rich in energy sources. Kit passed the time peacefully, alternating between listening to music as loud as she could stand, video games, and sleeping, all the while lamenting the lack of junk food in the stores.

Some unholy time later, a small white, blur and green planet loomed large in the windows. Kit strapped her self into one of the three crash couches and grinned her stupid grin ready for the final wild ride down the gravity well. One fast and bumpy ride straight down later, Kit emerged into the full glare of Earth’s little sun.

“Primus’ giga sized gears! This is some decrepit slagged, son of a glitch, ball of scrap. I reeeeaaly hope this is the right smeltin’ planet”. Kit looked around the desolate landscape and saw dust kicking up in the distance. Unsure and more than a little cautious after her long, long ride, she transformed her hands into her signature sawblades.

OOC: And we’re now somewhere in the Australian desert.

[Deleted]

The mission had been simple: scout a possible Energon signature in deep outback of Australia. Check for Autobot activity around the signature, and then secure the area for further evaluation. Make sure no organics saw what was going on — a damn sure happening after what B-Dump had seen done to Megatron — and get things done as discreetly as possible. He was extra muscle to a group of experienced Vehicons, meant to start punching things if the situation went south; B-Dump was fine with that.

What he wasn't fine with was the sudden brightness in the sky, and the shooting fire that was something burning up in the atmosphere. Two aerial scouts squawked a possible ship sighting over the radio, and Buffalo Dump left two thirds of the squad to finish mapping the perimeter. Him and three others jogged towards the rough direction of the craft's flight path, slowing down when they were about three-hundred metres from its landing spot.

B-Dump held his left servos up for a halt. ::No goin' close,:: he comm.ed, his voice a low rumble of Neocybex over the radios. ::Fan out and circle 'round. Move nice 'n' slow, keep yourselves all hidden and quiet-like. Guns ready, but no firin' yet.::

The giant mech stalked steady and low, moving another ten, twenty, forty feet before he hid behind a rock. He could see a fleck moving in the distance, hear the faint swishing and clanking of metal — some sort of transformation. Especially with his bad optic, he couldn't tell if it was into alt-mode or the drawing of a weapon.

[Deleted]

One dust trail became two, two became four, and then it was just all one big mess. Kit squinted her optics in the bright sunlight. Against the blue sky, she could make out two fliers but little detail, and on the ground, definitely some form of robotic organism, Cybertronians she hoped. The biggest appeared to be trying to be sneaky. Wasn’t much use with her sight though. The individual stood out like Unicron’s lugnuts. Kit was no tactician but their actions appeared to be along the lines of cautious reconnaissance.

Kit had just spent forever in the depths of space and she had long a go burnt through her patience. She the broke the communication silence as best she could.

“DECEPTICON OR AUTOBOT?” Kit yelled as loud as she could.

[Deleted]

The answer was obvious.

"YOU FIRST!" Buffalo Dump roared, his voice carrying over the desert in a baritone and booming echo. She couldn't see his Deceptibrands from her position (hopefully), and though he was slow, B-Dump was not stupid. If the other was a Decepticon, he'd get her to the Nemesis pronto — if she was an Autobot, he'd say he was as well. It would buy time for the others to either hide or circle around this newcomer.

And Buffalo Dump wasn't keen on losing anyone that day.

"NOTHIN' AGAINST YOU, MA'AM, BUT I DUNNO IF YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE SPACE PIRATES, OR SOMETHIN'! REAL HANDFUL TO DEAL WITH ON THE WAY HERE, NEARLY FRAGGED ME UP SOMETHING FIERCE! YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DIDN'T RUN INTO THEM!"

One of the Vehicons was side-eyeing Buffalo Dump now...or at least, that's what the flare of his EMF was like. B-Dump quickly comm.ed to him, ::Just follow my lead,:: and sent the message to the rest of his squadmates. He was bigger, tougher and more armed than they were; his fork tentacles twitched slightly where they rested on his back. Combined with the fact he could toss many grounders like they were lobbing-balls?

The crash-landed Cybertronian would be no problem for him.

[Deleted]

“You first” Kit had zero idea where to go from here, and whoa, that mech was loud, good vocaliser there. Neocybex and thus Cybertronian it was. So that was nice. Kit was about 75% certain “You first” was not the Autobot protocol. But this was war and noone could be too careful. She was on edge and she knew she would have to play this smart, not her strong suit.

Kitandcaboodle transformed her hands, back into hands, and crossed them over her chest hiding her Autobrand. She casually leaned against the escape pod.

“True Neutral all the way! I didn’t know anything about any slaggin' pirates, I must be hella lucky.” She called back.

Kit was calculating her chances, if these mechs were Decepticons, with the deception and their conniving. Fifty fifty chance she could outrun the grounders in alt mode, but zero percent chance for those two fliers. She reckoned she would be better off getting them all in close if she had to fight, and using each of them for cover where able.

[Deleted]

True Neutral. Well, that was good enough for B-Dump — either the femme was lying too, or she really was a sideliner. Buffalo Dump was not a malicious mech, and would happily give her the benefit of a doubt if she spoke true.

Very carefully, the Decepticon began to approach. He took a couple of steps, keeping his hands up and where the newcomer could see them. "PUT DOWN ALL YOUR WEAPONS!" the mech yelled, the vehicons beside him flinching away from the volume. "ANY OFFENSIVE TRANSFORMATIONS SHOULD BE...UH...UN-TRANSFORMED IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE! NEVER GOOD WHEN EYES ARE POKED OUT!"

Primus, he was terrible at this. Megatron, back when he was still somewhat decent on Cybertron, had always been a fancy speaker; 'bots flocked to him like lilleths flocked to their nests. Buffalo Dump was...a garbage mech. A very friendly garbage mech, and one who wasn't keen on seeing the Vehicons shredded or blown into pieces, but a garbage mech nonetheless. His processor had limits on how much it could learn and understand, to keep B-Dump and others like him from staging some sort of riot with their size and strength. "Who would ever suspect the garbage mechs?" someone had probably once said.

"YOU NEED REFUELING?!" the mech quickly added. A couple of quick taps to his chest-space, and the hatch popped open with a click. He reached inside and pulled out a sealed cube, the Vehicons staring at him like he was mad. "I'VE GOT ENERGON HERE!"

::What are you doing?!:: one of the jets snapped over the comms.

::Bein' diplomatic,:: said Buffalo Dump. ::When I say, start shootin'.::

[Deleted]

Kit was getting more suspicious that these were cons she was facing, but she had nothing concrete. She sure as heck did not want to start a fight with Bots or Neutrals, which was just bad for business. Kit wasn’t even sure there were any Neutrals. On the other hand, she didn’t really want to fight ten Cons either, but she would fight to her death before being taken prisoner however.

The way Kitandcaboodle figured it, if they were Bots or Neutrals, big, green and noisome would have now just said a much. The last thing that had her worried was the other nine – was it nine – mechs all looked very similar to her, as far as she could see at their distance anyway. Kits intel on the Autobot operations led her to believe that her side did not use any mass produced troops, but she could be wrong. No, she had to keep playing along until she had a defining clue. And Kit was often one clue behind.

“You have no idea how thirsty I am”. She wasn’t thirsty at all. The escape pod was very well stocked. What Kit could go for was a cold can of Kremzeek Kola though. She did not move from lounging against the pod, and her arms stayed crossed against her torso. The situation called for a bit more patience. Let them come closer then pounce or make friends.

Primus help her if they were Decepticons, because she would surely need help to survive. Lots of luck too would be nice.

[Deleted]

::Hey chief — ::

B-Dump paused as one of the fliers came over the comms.

::Looks like there's an Autobrand on this gal's forehead. Permission to engage?::

The mech considered his options. If he got closer to the Autobrander, she'd spy his shoulder-marks and start firing upon him. If he kept yelling from where he was...he had to admit, that was already pretty suspicious of him. The Vehicons were unsure of what he was thinking, and he had to admit, he wasn't thinking himself. There was little to no Autobot activity in Australia, and he hadn't prepared himself for an encounter outside of one with organics.

He wasn't stupid, but he could be, and he was mentally kicking himself for it.

::Fire at will.::

Four missiles — two from each jet — went spiralling towards the Autobrander, a trail of smoke in their wake. Still playing the role of "concerned Neutral bystander", Buffalo Dump pointed accusingly and shouted, "LOOK OUT!" The Vehicons' fields flared in recognition of his plan, and aimed their blasters as if to cover Kit.

Hopefully, the femme would get the idea she was among friends and run to them. That would make things a whole lot easier, but Buffalo Dump wasn't counting on her to fall for it. Still, a mech could hope, right?

[Deleted]

Kit’s clusterfrag alert went off. Instinctively she bolted. She was not going be close to the pod when those missiles hit. Semi clawed toes dug into the dirt for purchase and she launched her self towards Big Mech target numero uno. There was no time to think, only act. Kit was good at this. There was a saying amongst her parkour buddies, “Go Hard or Go Home”. Well Kit was all in every time.

Kit’s legs ate up the ground in a matter of seconds. When she was half way to her target, she was close enough to realise all those similar looking mechs were indeed Decepticon fodder and any doubt she had evaporated. That just left more room for her hatred of Mega-aft’s followers.

The long term survival plan was stay close to the big mech, hope like heck, the others wouldn’t fire at him, and if – very big if – she won the fight, maybe scare them away.

Short term, pounce the big mech and go over him, use her tail tip plasma torch to ignite that energon cube as she passed, cling to his back with clawed feet and one hand, use other hand – now buzzsaw – to rip through his optics, proceed to dismemberment city.

Kit got close and pounced at Buffalo Dump.

[Deleted]

The ship was gone in a flash of flames, dust and debris. The Autobrander was blazing towards them, a bolt of black lightning across an otherwise red desert. Buffalo Dump wasted no time, turning his arm in a blaster and spraying the femme's position with as much fire as possible; the Vehicons did the same. Whatever energon he had in hand was now flung at her, whirling through the air with enough force to splatter on impact.

Unlike what most thought, not all cannon fodder was untrained and/or suicidal. Buffalo Dump was slow, but he wasn't a stupid mech; he too knew the explosive power of Energon. Spark, fire, boom, nothing — if the energon was lit by the crossfire, so be it. Despite his slowness and size, the garbage mech made damn sure to yell a fall-back over the comms, him and his troopers making distance from the substance. They fanned out a little to try and avoid the femme, firing at her as much as possible to try and hit/disorient her.

The aerials circled ahead, waiting for a chance to lock onto the Autobrander again "Surrender and no one has to get hurt!" Buffalo Dump barked over the plasma fire. "I will honour the terms of warfare if you end this right now! You will be held in appropriate housing until your side is reached! Give up already, Autobrander!"

[Deleted]

Kit misjudged her pounce, misjudged it pretty badly really, and she got shot too, just to add injury to insult. She was lucky that she got hit by a Vehicon’s blast and not Buffalo Dump’s, or she was unlucky since she landed and unlucky for getting shot at all.

The blast took Kit in the leg, vaporising skin plating and doing some small damage to her substructure. It sent her tumbling into the Australian dirt and finished with her face planting.

“You slagging slags” Kit muttered into the dirt while bracing her self through the pain. With at least seven laser weapons pointing at her body, it was unnecessary for anyone to fire again just yet, they had won and Kit was out.

Kit shakily pushed her self into a sitting position, carefully taking any weight from her damaged left leg. And since the pain wasn’t ebbing, she shouted through it. She could always put her anger to use.

“YOU SLAGGING SLAGS! YOU STUPID GLITCHED TO SLAG, PIECES OF RUSTED SCRAP, AFT LICKING, BOLT SUCKERS! IF YOU HAD COME HERE, GUNS POINTING FROM THE FIRST NANO, THAT SLAGGING POD WOULD BE USABLE RESOURCES AND EVERYHTINGWOULDBEBETTER!” Kit shouted the last in a rush as a wave pain induced nausea washed trough her.

“And as for your terms of warfare, have you see what Megatron DID TO CYBERTRON?! You know what? Fine I surrender, take me to your leader so I can give him a piece of what’s left of my mind”. Kit raised both her hands over her head fully expecting stasis cuffs.

OOC: I give permission for rough handling and marching at gunpoint.

[Deleted]

The Vehicons rushed in like a pack of hellhounds, Buffalo Dump lagging behind them. One did, in fact, have stasis cuffs, which were slapped on Kit's arms faster than one could order for her hands. Another grabbed her long, tail-like appendage, which the squad with B-Dump gave a weird look to as they held it. They looked over at their commander, who frowned as he wondered what the strange limb might be used for.

"Tie her up with it," he said. "See if ya can wrap it around her legs, or...somethin'."

The Vehicons stared, then looked at each other and shrugged. With that strange tail, they tried to wrap it around Kit's legs like a lace, tying it into a rough bow like she was a present for Megatron. Which, in a way, she was — there hadn't been many Autobrander prisoners lately. The last one had been...Cliffjumper, wasn't it?

Switching onto the channel for the Nemesis, Buffalo Dump said, ::Buffalo Dump to Nemesis, come in Nemesis. We found an Autobran — Autobot during the energon search, and we've got her wounded and cuffed.::

The 'Con twisted his head, spying a Vehicon digging taloned fingers into the edge of Kit's wound as they tried to pile on her. "Be careful!" he barked, the boom of his voice enough to make the troopers (and their fields) spasm in surprise. B-Dump rubbed at the side of his head, fingers hovering around his comms before he went to the channel again. His one optic squinted a little more, the sliver behind it twinging against a nerve.

::What do you want me to do with her?::

//ooc// Kit, Lex the mod said you could call for help from the Autobots and someone would come to her rescue. Feel free to do so.

[Deleted]

There were no two ways about it, Kit’s personal safety now took precedence over her ego. She called for help over her comm. It was an old encryption, no doubt compromised but it served.

::Autobot down. I’m being Kitnapped, Help me, coordinates are {Down Under}::

Kit continually twitched her tail out of the vehicon’s grasping hands. They were trying to do weird things with it and it was incredibly impolite and embarrassing to boot. If it wasn’t for the stasis cuffs, she would have stabbed someone in the optic with the plasma torch at the tail’s tip.

In their rough handling, one of the ‘cons got their grubby claws into Kit’s leg wound. She growled in pain and managed to thump that vehicon in the face, albeit with little force.

"Be careful!"

Kit visibly clenched at the volume of Buffalo Dump’s voice, her ears automatically rotating away from his direction. Her whole body felt like it was ringing.

“…frag…you pack a wallop in all but processor speed dontcha?” Kit had the sudden sinking feeling that making this mech angry would end up bad for everyone.

[Deleted]

Unbeknownst to either Kit or the Decepticons, two replies came back over the invisible airways.

"Is that the Autobot that our ship sensors detected arriving in an escape pod?" said Starscream. "Meh. She'll know nothing of the Autobots here or the location of their base. Kill her. It will mean one less Autobot to deal with when the vermin inevitably come to rescue her."

Meanwhile, a different voice spoke quietly over Kit's comm.

"Check remarks," it growled. "We have your coordinates. Bridging there now."

Without warning, green light spilt across the outback.

From the portal trudged a massive silhouette that swiftly turned into a haggard looking blue and grey Aubobot carrying a heavy rifle across his chest. His paint was scuffed and scarred, while the tank treads of his alternate form jutted high above his shoulders. The mech took in took in the scene with a glance before he bore down on the Decepticons.

"You!" he barked at the nearest Vehicon. "Who is in charge here?"

Hastily, the Vehicon pointed.

Maximus' red-eyed glare snaked over to Buffalo Dump. The big mech looked hunched and weary, his face drawn - but his gaze was livid.

"You!" he bellowed. "I am Fortress Maximus, Autobot Security, the Butcher of Simanzi, etc, etc - whatever! The only reason I'm talking to you right now is because I've been told I need to be more diplomatic in dealing with people. So I will open the negotiations by stating that I haven't slept in two days and I'm in a foul mood. You have exactly five seconds to hand that Autobot over to me, or I will slaughter your patrol. And to prove I'm not bluffing-"

Maximus swung.

His shoulders heaved as he lifted the photon rifle to his eye and took aim. The single blast roared through the Decepticon ranks and smashed into an unlucky Vehicon at the back of the crowd. Energon splattered into the air as the drone's head evaporated, even as the rest of his smoking wreckage collapsed to the desert floor amid a spreading pool of gore.

Maximus did not lower the rifle.

"You now have four seconds," he said.

[Deleted]

“…frag…you pack a wallop in all but processor speed dontcha?”

"Sorry catlet," the big mech replied, frowning at his prisoner. He couldn't help but let sympathy slip into his EMF and his expression, cocking his head to one side. "You're an Autobrander, we're Decepticons. 'S'the way things are right now."

A clicking and static burst through his comms got Buffalo Dump's attention. He turned away from the Autobrander, adjusting the signal on his commline so it would grow stronger. He'd notice a squelch of interference from time to time, but hadn't mentioned it to Knock Out — he always chalked it up to interference from nearby planets and stars. Now that he was on solid ground, he was considering giving the Doc another visit to check it out.

"Is that the Autobot that our ship sensors detected arriving in an escape pod?"

"Yessir, sir."

"Meh. She'll know nothing of the Autobots here or the location of their base. Kill her. It will mean one less Autobot to deal with when the vermin inevitably come to rescue her."

B-Dump's optics bugged a little, and the Vehicons' fields gave a skeptical waver. He glanced at them, then down at Kit, and then back at his troopers — they were all waiting for what to do next. Buffalo Dump's field definitely read as "unsure", and he could sense the slight tension coming from his men. They were worried about a) having screwed up, b) Buffalo Dump having screwed up, or c) the thought of more Autobranders coming to rescue their femme.

There wasn't much time to stand around. With an exvent that sent the scent of Pine-Sol washing over Kit, B-Dump said, "Command's not taking prisoners. Bring her against that big rock over there and — "

He was interrupted by the swirl of green light that came before a portal. Everyone looked up, raised their blasters and stood poised, even Buffalo Dump — who was coming through? His superiors hadn't said anything about coming down to inspect the prisoner —

And then his answer came in the form of a giant, angry mech, who proceeded to ask who was in charge, introduce himself as "Fortress Maximus", threaten to slaughter the entire patrol, and then fired on a Vehicon to make a point. Buffalo Dump barely had time to react from the shock before Watson — a newly-awakened drone, one beginning to come to terms with his sentience and newfound sense of feeling — yelped and blew apart. The other Vehicons danced away, crying out as their fields flared in terror and surprise, Buffalo Dump's jaw dropping as he stared at Watson's splatter.

His field went dead for a moment, and then, it violently surged forward. Anger smashed into the seams, stretching the field at its brim and chasing away the skittish Vehicons. They held back as Buffalo Dump swung around, grabbing the Autobrander by the scruff of her neck, his fork-tentacles disengaging as he held her up. They proceeded to take her weight from his servos, holding the femme up like a grim, wounded trophy as his fiery optics bore into Max's. He stood at his full height, only a smidgen taller than the tankbot but enough he had to look down at him.

::Fall back and call for a portal, all of you,:: he ordered over his comms. ::Everyone back to the Nemesis, now — save your maps of the area, let the higher-ups know about this place.::

::But what about — ::

::Now, soldier, unless you want to be scrap.::

"SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT!" the garbage mech boomed over the din. The Vehicons looked at each other, and then promptly decided to turn tail and start driving for their lives; the aerials quickly followed. "YOU WANT ME TO HAND OVER ONE OF YOUR LITTLE GLITCHES, IN EXCHANGE FOR MY PATROL'S LIFE, AFTER YOU ALREADY BLEW UP ONE THAT HADN'T EVEN FIRED ON YOU!"

He held the femme up a little higher, as if to show her off.

"AND INSTEAD OF OFFERIN' FOR RANSOM, YOU FIND IT PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE TO RISK YOUR GLITCHLET'S LIFE OVER THE NEED TO WAVE YOUR PISTONS AROUND LIKE THE BIG BAD MECH YOU ARE! GEE, DON'T YOU SOUND A LOT LIKE ONE OF US, GLITCHFRAGGER!"

He gently waved Kit back and forth, muttering a quiet, "Sorry, sorry..." as he did. It was enough to mock Fort Max from where B-Dump stood, but not enough to jostle the one he'd designated as "the catlet". "YOU'RE NOT IN FRAGGING GARRUS-9 ANYMORE, WHEELGRINDER! STOP FIRING YOUR BIG BAD CANNON LIKE IT'S TURBOFOX HUNTING, AND COME AND GET THE LITTLE GLITCH FROM ME!! YEAH, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU DON'T FRAGGING SCARE ME!!"

He grinned a wicked grin.

"OR DID THEY MAKE YOU SOFT WENT THEY BENT YOU OVER AND FRAGGED THE LIFE OUT OF YOU IN THERE?!"