We are a literate, intermediate to advanced AU Transformers RPG Based off of the first season of TFP with dashes of other incarnations sprinkled here or there. Characters from any continuity are welcome however must be restyled to match the TFPrime universe.
Active, with ongoing plotlines, we are always willing to integrate new characters into storylines once incorporated into the setting.
He'd run all the possibilities he could. His processor was no battle computer, but it was no tin can, either. He knew mecha, and he knew THIS femme as well as he could through others' optics. In a perfect world he'd wait to do this until he'd gotten to know her better, personally. Given the less-than-perfect world he had, he and Hide had agreed that sooner was better...if only so they knew where they stood and didn't inadvertently do more damage.
So.
Jazz looked over at Bluestreak and Ironhide, and both pinged back as ready/willing/determined. Jazz vented again. "Right."
::Hey, Shadow. When you get offshift, could you swing by 'Hide's quarters?::
Jazz had timed his request well, Shadow thought with a twinge of unease. She was just about to come off shift, and short of outright lying to him she couldn't arrange for other plans.
She hadn't actually seen him over the past few days, but she had been careful around everyone she'd interacted with. She couldn't think of anything she'd done that could have made it back to Jazz. Well, except for the incident with Rattrap after the patrol she'd had with Rhinox, but Rhinox had seemed to understand, and everyone treated Rattrap that way.
::I'll be there in a few kliks,:: she commed back, trying to force her anxiety away. It wouldn't help; whatever was going to happen, she couldn't change it.
The walk to Ironhide's quarters had never been so long. It could be nothing. Just because it was Jazz...it could still be nothing. Except Jazz was the type of mech where it was always something.
She paused outside Ironhide's door, cycled her vents and forced everything away. Then, after a pause to devoutly wish the Decepticons would attack the base, she pinged for entry.
Ironhide glanced at Jazz when the ping came at the door, then vented and sent the code to open it. "Come on in, Shadow."
Pit of a thing, really. Going to get worse, probably, before it got better. He'd done what he could - positioned himself, deliberately, on the berth, half of a pair of gunmounts he was busy retooling keeping his hands occupied. Something safe, something she'd seen him do multiple times, nothing alarming and a pulse of reassurance as Shadowrunner edged past the door - just cohort, spending off duty time together.
Just cohort, and he welcomed her with the same longwave brush that he would have welcomed Bluestreak with. Join us-safe-home. Just cohort.
Bluestreak was perhaps the least obviously tense of the four of them. Watching Shadow as she entered the room. An equal part of the welcome feel of cohort but perhaps more so than the other two in long waves wanting her here and promising the comfort only a cohort could provide.
Usually Bluestreak was a talker but this was more up Jazz's ally. Instead ou would probably be acting as the buffer, the physical comfort for the lot of them.
Jazz watched Shadow as she entered the room, tense and unsure. He was glad to see her relax some when she hit the double-whammy of Ironhide and Bluestreak's fields, but her optics turned immediately to him. He was the one she was least sure of.
The authority figure. The CO.
Jazz didn't think too hard on that. That wasn't what he needed in his field right now.
"Heya, Shadow." Jazz stayed where he was, sitting leaning against the berth Ironhide sat on. 'Hide's quarters weren't the smallest the cohort'd had, but they were short on furniture, and Jazz liked to sprawl. He'd long ago just dragged the berthpad from his own quarters over here and laid it on the floor perpendicular to Ironhide's berth. Place to sleep/sprawl/sit, all in one. "Thanks for comin'." He gestured to indicate the berth by Ironhide, the pad by him, whichever, and smiled, pushing his longwave out to resonate with Blue's and 'Hide's. "Have a seat. Take a load off. This isn't Autobot official anything. Cohort business."
His glyph choice made it clear that "cohort" included her.
Shadow didn't consciously register the welcoming brush of Ironhide's field, or Bluestreak's comforting presence, though the caress of their combined longwave eased some of the tension from her. Instead, she focused immediately on Jazz, trying to read him, to anticipate what he wanted and why she was here.
Like a dog with its master, Barricade's voice sneered from somewhere deep in her processor. Pathetic. If I'd known you were this easy, I wouldn't have bothered trying to kill you.
If it had just been the three of them, she would have immediately tangled herself up with Blue and relaxed into the sniper's easy, affectionate touch. With Jazz there, her instinct was to seek out Ironhide's steady reassurance instead, curl into his protection until the not-quite-threat was gone.
She did neither, standing motionless through Jazz's simple greeting. Cohort - home/safety/support/love all part of the glyph structure he'd used - echoed and ached through the places where the rest of the Thirteen had always been, sent a flare of loss into her field before she could stop it. Loss followed by a bleak, wrenching need that she barely smothered before it could broadcast itself to the others.
She offlined her optics long enough to pull her EMF smooth and tight around her, and moved to sit next to Jazz, curling gracefully in on herself as she settled to the floor. Close enough to touch; not close enough to invite touch. And by no coincidence, close enough to Ironhide that his field wrapped around her like a security blanket.
"Cohort business?" she echoed. Her glyph structure was less inclusive, more formal...not distant enough to be considered a rejection, not quite indicating she thought he was mistaken. "What sort of cohort business?"
Jazz waved his hands in reassurance. "Nothin' you've done or not done, just wonderin' how you're feelin' and all. And wanted to...well, officially-beyond-just-using-the-glyphs-and-you-not-correcting-us ASK you to join our cohort. I mean, we've all been pretty obvious, we think--" he tossed an amused, pointed look at Ironhide "--but it's good to have it out and in the open. Especially since...well...we know you're still dealing with what happened to your last cohort."
He turned a hand up, raised and half-extended. Half-gesture, half-offering. "We don't want to pressure you. If you're not ready to take another cohort yet, that's fine. We'll be here for you, either way."
<<Took it 'pon myself to skip you, Blue, just because you had mentioned Blue'd be quiet. Let me know if you'd like to take your turn or go after me or whatever!>>
Last Edit: Apr 15, 2012 13:06:08 GMT -5 by Deleted
Shadow had noticed the glyphs, of course, she simply...hadn't put any real weight behind them. Ironhide had started using them after Barricade, the both of them running on pain and high grade, and when he hadn't stopped she'd assumed he was humoring her, the way he humored her about her guns and her endless questions. Blue picking the habit up, then Jazz...odd, but not worth commenting on. Not when drawing it to their attention might have made them stop. Not when she could still take comfort from the illusion.
Jazz...of course he had noticed. Of course he would use it.
An ache like physical pain slowly brought her processor out of its locked daze. She looked at Blue, then Ironhide, then back to Jazz, optics not quite managing to focus on any of them. None of her systems seemed to be working right; her vents kept catching mid-cycle, her vocalizer clicked helplessly when she tried to find words, and Jazz seemed alternately too close and too far away.
Jazz was offering the impossible, but even knowing that she still wanted. Wanted, and hated herself for wanting, for giving him one more thing to use against her.
Ironhide set the gunmounts and his tools aside without a word, sliding from the berth to the floor on Shadowrunner's other side. The reach for her was just as automatic, but he made himself pause the full extent of it, hands just resting on her shoulders, arms and field open.
"Bitlet," he said softly, but under the rumble of his voice was an open thread of woven glyphs weighted in the harmonics of creator/guardian to sparkling/youngling - youngling-cohort-affection-invitation. "Yeh don't have t' answer right off." He kept his voice quiet, threading a bit of humor through it. "Jazz just pointed out Ah never rightly asked, which is mah fault. Ah should've. Offer's there, an' if yeh don't wanna answer now then it'll still be there later. Whenever yeh want. All right?"
Shadow turned toward Ironhide before she registered his words, one hand rising to curl around his wrist, an anchor point. It would be so easy to just lean into him. He would let her, she knew, for as long as she wanted...and everything would hurt so much more afterward if she did.
She shouldn't have let this happen. She knew that. She had no one to blame but herself.
Which didn't stop the thread of anger which crept through her as she finally released her hold on Ironhide and turned to meet Jazz's optics.
"My cohort," she used the full glyph set, the one they only used among themselves, with modifiers for singular and unique and eternal, "is dead. I know what I am," broken-discarded-useless, "and I know I've done everything wrong since I got here, but please..." Her voice broke, and with it the anger, leaving only a sick desperation, pointless begging. "Punish me with something else. Not like this."
No. No no no. No. Words barely parsed through Ironhide's processor after the wave of glyphs and he brushed them aside as useless. This talking, whatever it was, wasn't working, it wasn't right, and the ragged, broken feel of Shadow underneath his hands and against his field was outside of enough. No. NO.
He scooped her up almost before she finished speaking, threw his own back against the edge of the berth and pulled her into his lap. He caught a glimpse of Jazz's face and didn't have time or enough fragging hands to deal with what he saw there, not when Shadowrunner was a lump of broken, sick, and aching misery in his arms. Ironhide wrapped himself bodily around her, tight in his arms, pressed close to his plates, engine throbbing deep and steady, armor flaring to shield and protect.
Mine. It waved from him, wordless, weaving through and around her, raw and straight from his spark. Mine, my sparkling, to love, my youngling, to protect, kin-family-COHORT-loved-accepted-safe-protected-mine-ours-SAFE-mine. Things he had once imprinted on a terrified sparkling that had fit in one cupped hand. Things he had pulsed to cohortmates running on the ragged edge. Things they had, when he needed it most, given back to him in pulsing, grounding waves of sparkfelt emotion. Here-together-not alone-safe-protected-loved-family-kin-COHORT.
<ooc - sorry for jumping posting order, but every button just got mashed. Jazz can yell at Hide for abandoning the plan of attack later, and I can edit as people want, but that negated any ability to wait patiently for the talking. =P>
Last Edit: Apr 16, 2012 14:53:26 GMT -5 by Deleted
I think that we're all enough writers to have an ad hoc whatever-makes-most-sense posting order for this thread. So yeah, I vote we just go with what seems to be working.
Jazz will let Ironhide deal with this, see how Shadow works, so if Shadow wants to go next?>>
Last Edit: Apr 16, 2012 16:27:42 GMT -5 by Deleted
It had taken all Bluestreaks self control not to simply snuggle up to Shadow and chatter her audios off. But ou's waited. Let Jazz do the talking, he'd do a better job of it anyway or so ou had thought. Ou waited until Ironhide had her held close and settled before wiggling in closer. Pressing up against protectively flared plating to ass hir own two cents. Sum-harmonics of of cohort-sister-safe-love overlapping Ironhides wanting desperately to assure the femme.
It took a nano-klik for Shadow's processor to catch up with what had happened, to connect safety with the deep engine rumble beneath her with Ironhide, from there to identify the smaller form curled nearby, separated from her by protectively flared armor, as Bluestreak. Jazz was...she didn't know. She didn't care. He was far enough away for her to ignore him, to let her world narrow to the assurances of love and safety surrounding her.
Cohort, they both insisted, fields overlapping and wrapping around her, the glyphs they used open and flowing rather than the rigid structure she was used to. Cohort, shifting/expanding yet no less stable for it, and if Blue's glyphs were half anxious requests for her to accept them, Ironhide's resonated with the force of simple fact. Mine-ours-together-family-always, he promised wordlessly, weaving together with Blue's love and acceptance. It made no sense, but when she pushed back a denial, impossible-dead-broken-alone-lost-failed, she was immediately swamped by their insistence that she was theirs, alive-safe-protected-whole. Cohort.
She couldn't quite answer back in kind; it felt like too much of a betrayal, of Labyrinth, of her cohort. Still, some of the despair eased from around her spark at the realization that whatever Jazz did to her, this one thing was safe, hers. The one thing that would hurt her most, he couldn't take from her.
It was...enough. Enough to let her relax from the tight ball she'd curled into, Ironhide reluctantly shifting so she could move. Enough to let her wrap her arms around Bluestreak as soon as the sniper could actually reach her. Enough to let her finally raise her optics and look at Jazz, even though her tanks clenched with dread of his reaction.
They'd all had a long talk before calling Shadow in. Recapping what they knew and didn't know, what precautions needed to be taken to make sure they didn't do anymore damage while trying to help her. One thing that Jazz had been concerned about was how she was seeing them. Did she see any of them the same way she'd seen Labyrinth? As someone absolutely not to be refused anything, no matter how small?
No matter if it was a question as seemingly beneficial as "do you want to join our cohort?"
Jazz had suggested taking it slow, getting a feel for how she felt about them first, not pushing.
Then Shadow had fallen apart (as he'd feared she might, given what he'd rightfully suspected were her terribly warped ideas of what a cohort should be), and Ironhide had been Ironhide....
Or we could do that, Jazz thought, watching as Hide and Blue wrapped Shadow in their arms and all but imprinted their collective cohort frequency on her spark. Whatever works.
And it WAS working. Painful as it was to watch Shadow so upset, he couldn't miss how she'd calmed under the press of Ironhide's ironclad certainty. Worked so well that Jazz was a bit leery of even approaching. This was twice that he'd tried to talk to Shadow with the most tact he could muster and it'd ended up with her upset, afraid, and confused. He'd thought about letting them calm her even more, slip away and try this again some other time, but then she'd looked at him, calmer but still afraid, as if she expected him to be angry with her.
It's something about being CO. Ironhide slipped under that somehow, Blue is more an equal, but I tripped her CO filter. Does she expect me to be the disciplinarian here, enforcing the rules Labyrinth beat into her? Of course she does. She's got it in her head that those rules are universal, that we should hate her for even...frag.
Never let it be said that Jazz couldn't change directions in the face of evidence. There certainly weren't many ways he could frighten her more than he was right now.
Aw, frag it. What Would Ironhide Do?-mode, go.
There wasn't much of Shadow not covered by protectively flared plating or Bluestreak, but Jazz rose up on his knees, leaning into the tangle of limbs to press his helm to Shadow's. Cohort, he sent, dropping every authority modifier he could and instead using the inclusive cohort-equality modifiers. Connection-support-affection-care-inclusion-protection.
He opened up his field wide, letting her feel his worry and sincerity. "M'not mad at you, Shadow. I'm not here to punish you at all. S'last thing I want. We're different than your old cohort, and by our rules you've done nothin' wrong. Remember when I said I wanted you to be happy? I DO. You're important to 'Hide and Blue and we ALL want you to be happy. We want you here, and if you want us back, then that's all we need. You don't need to do anything else...you just have to ask. That's all."