Ep 0.5 - "Points Fixed in Memory" (closed)

Rhinox was aware of Airazor's presence the moment she walked in. It was only coincidence that the moment Airazor spoke, his pliers twisted treacherously in his hand, pinching his finger plating painfully. He grunted sharply, more out of protest than pain, and put the offending tool down.

"Yeah," he allowed, turning to Airazor with a sheepish smile. "I think I'm about ready for a break anyway." He stood up to greet her. "What's up?"

Rhinox's optics dimmed a little as he took in Airazor's field, paying attention to that just as much as her words. "Skydive" was accompanied with approval and affection - clearly the new flier had made a good impression on her, despite his questionable off-duty choices. The glyphs took on a darker character when she mentioned Blaster's reaction to Ironhide's news, though none of them suggested a problem with Blaster himself - simply that he was closer to the problem she was struggling with.

The problem, Rhinox thought, was easy to guess.

"The most obvious answer," he said, as gently as he could, "is that Ironhide's news serves to remind you of what you have lost. You firewalled the knowledge as soon as you heard it, didn't you?" he guessed.

Rhinox shunted more power to his field automatically, wrapping Airazor in his love and support, unflinching from the pain that radiated outward from her. "It has made you," he told her, "someone who has reason to grieve."

He reached an arm out, inviting her to come closer and be held. "Don't be afraid to hurt," he murmured. "The day you feel nothing at all is the day you will have been destroyed."

A hint of commiseration entered Rhinox's field at that - yes, he knew how that felt. War had turned them all into people they hadn't wanted to be. War twisted every spark it touched.

...Except for Rattrap, who remained pretty much as he always had been.

Rhinox allowed himself a moment to feel that before suppressing the emotion. This was about Airazor's pain, not his own relatively minor discomfort. He stroked Airazor's back gently, between her wings, and rested his forehelm gently against hers. "I can't say anything that could make it better. Only... there's no one here but me. You can break down if you need to."

Rhinox's calm acceptance of her did not waver, neither in field nor voice. He did ease his hold a little - if Airazor wanted to escape his hold and go pace, she could.

"From what I hear, this wasn't exactly planned," he said thoughtfully, organizing his own feelings as he spoke. "I'm sure Ironhide and Cleaver know the dangers of raising a sparkling in the middle of a war. And they've been fighting longer than we have - they know the sparkache they invite."

He tilted his head back, optics dim as sorrow darkened his field. This time he let it come. "But, Airazor - although I hope for a resolution to this war, I know there is a very real chance that it will not end. Not until our very race is destroyed. Our lives, our very existence, has become defined by war. Even the Neutrals can't escape that anymore." He sighed deeply. "I'm afraid that one day we'll forget that it was ever any other way."

"So... maybe Ironhide and Cleaver need this sparkling. Maybe we need sparklings. To remind us of the things that make life worth living. To motivate us to build a world where we don't have to greet the news of sparklings with fear or worry." He tried on a smile for her. "Or guilt."

Rhinox nodded softly, embracing her close again. "That's my hope, at any rate," he said quietly. "Though, fair warning, that sparkling will be wrapping me around hir little finger in short order, so I may be a bit biased."

He'd be embarrassed about that, but he rather suspected he wouldn't be the only one.

See Rhinox, see Rhinox lighting right up.

"That's a wonderful idea," he enthused. "Sparklings need so many things, and Ironhide and Cleaver are busy people already - not having to buy or fabricate everything they need would ease their workload considerably. And of course a toy for the little one is absolutely essential." He started drawing up lists in his head, of toys and other Sparkling Essentials he remembered from - far too long ago. "Something that makes noise and lights up. Possibly something that moves, to give the little one something to toddle after."

...Airazor, it seems, has just hit Rhinox's Enthusiasm Button.