[ti]Flashback[/ti]Show Me How To Be Whole Again [ Closed | Knockout ]

[Breakdown]

Timeline:
Directly Before Episode 1

---

     'I'm afraid you won't survive the process, so we wanted to thank you in advance for your sacrifice...'


     The drill was turned on and started to creep closer. The sound was deafening and even terrifying to the bound mech.

     Closer...
     Closer...

     The sound of contact snapped Breakdown out of it and he quickly looked around, afraid that his freedom was nothing more than an illusion. Thankfully, it wasn't. He was standing in the hallway just outside of the bridge of the Nemesis, having arrived back only moments before. Something had triggered the memories of what he had endured earlier to come creeping back and his subconscious played it like a recording. Breakdown had stopped walking as a result and, had someone seen him, he would have appeared like a statue blocking anyone from entering or exiting the bridge. Good thing that no one had or he'd have some explaining to do that he really DIDN'T care to share.

     MECH. That was the name he had been given for the group; more specifically, the introduction of the human Silas. That name struck a few feelings that he really wasn't comfortable with and probably wouldn't admit aloud.

     Breakdown lifted his servo to his right optic ( what was left of it ) then started walking towards the medbay. The Autobots had come to his 'rescue', set him free from MECH, and the rest was just a struggle on his processor. Everything after he was sprung from the human group's capture had been a blur to him, not even so much as recalling how he'd gotten back to the Nemesis. Why couldn't he remember? It was obvious that the groundbridge had been used, as he didn't have a flying alt mode, but he didn't recall even going through it, let alone calling it. The only thing that his mind wanted to replay was that damn incident. Why THAT? Going through it once had been traumatic enough but having to set it on constant replay at random points was only proving to be problematic.

     The large brute turned a corner and visibly jumped as he nearly ran straight into a Vehicon. He didn't know if it noticed or not, but if it did it didn't seem to be phased. At least it wasn't made mention of. The vehicon did say something to him but Breakdown didn't understand it the first time and he took a breath in an attempt to recover.

     'Since you evidently aren't squeamish, I'll allow you to watch..'

     "What was that?"

     "Welcome back, Breakdown," the Vehicon repeated. "Everyone knows of your heroic escape from the humans! We Vehicons are glad you have returned safely to us. We would like to hear your story when you have the time!"

     "Oh... thank you. Send my regards to the others. I'll... uh... tell you guys all about it once I'm fixed up and rested."

     'I know you're judging me. I can tell...'

     Breakdown had to move; had to go. His frame was tensing in a very familiar way and he knew he'd have to find somewhere safe soon. Somewhere he could hide. Somewhere...

     "Excuse me," he said, nodded to the Vehicon, then started off again with a little more hurried of a pace. He made his way to the medbay and paused only momentarily outside of the door. Knock Out would make things better. He would make everything alright. Breakdown went inside, expecting to right away be scolded by his partner, telling him how foolish he was to have gone without him, to have been hurt. It was odd how comforting those words were to hear sometimes, if just to give him solid ground. Right now that was what he needed.

     Instead? Nothing. That reassurance of norm was not to be given.

     Knock Out wasn't here. He didn't want to believe that his partner wouldn't have been here waiting his return, ready to comfort him. Where was he? Why had he gone? 

     'No one wants to be seen with a failure. He's abandoned you. You're alone.'

     Breakdown tried to ignore the all too familiar voices he was hearing through his inner audial. No one else heard these, but he did. Up until this point they had been silent but now they were back and repeating the same horrible things that had driven him to his breaking point in the past. He went to Knock Out's work station and looked at the table below. The surface was covered in his tools, carefully laid out as if preparing for a procedure. The tabletop was reflective enough that he could see himself in it and he stared at the missing eye. MECH's doing was staring straight at him.

     HUMANS had done this to him. Pitiful, weak, pathetic fleshlings. How could he have allowed this?

     'Are his pain receptors disabled?'

     A single sweep of his arm knocked everything from the table and onto the floor at his feet. The sounds of the tools clattering echoed like painful pings in his audials similar to the sound of sharp digit-tips raking across bare metal. The sounds drove him to cover the sides of his helm in hopes of muting the noise and stop the ache, but it didn't do anything. The metal on metal sounds were still crystal clear.

     'He won't make as much noise.'

     Not even aware of his body's own movements, Breakdown somehow managed to wedge himself behind one of the procedure tables and that was where he would be found; huddled, trembling, with his good optic shut and his servos covering his helm as he tried to make the voices stop.

    'Open him up.'

     'No! Get... get out! STOP!'


     Where was Knock Out?

[Knock Out]

The last few hours had dragged on for what felt like an eternity, and Knock Out could do nothing but wait, and feel useless. He'd paced the medbay what felt like a thousand times. Cleaned the medbay. Cleaned it again. Organized and reorganized everything. He set his tools out neatly. Positioned them so they were all level. They were all neat, they were meticulous. He'd thrown things. Picked them up. Thrown them again. Yelled from frustration, and even went as far as to punch a wall. It hurt. But it helped for the briefest of moments. He'd yelled so much and made so much noise that even some of the vehicons had come to check that he was alright. He couldn't focus on their words of concern, nor gain any comfort from them; and had just screamed at them to get out. They were reluctant, but they left the medic to himself. This was how he wanted to cope. This was the only way he could cope.

Unless... Maybe he could do something to help.

Starscream had gone after MECH, to bring back Breakdown who had been taken. But it wasn't enough. It couldn't be. MECH were dangerous, they had to be if they could take someone like Breakdown! Starscream needed more backup; and Knock Out was going to convince Megatron, their oh supreme leader, to send more troops after the Commander. He wanted his partner back. He needed his partner back. Why Megatron was refusing to support any rescue efforts was nothing but confusing and insulting. Without Breakdowns support and help, Megatron would not be as far as he was with his recovery.

He planned to tell Megatron this. He would not leave the presence of the Warlord until he'd convinced him otherwise. And so he left the medbay and marched down the hall. His servos curled into tight fists. He moved with purpose – knowing that he and Breakdown had limited time. He hoped it wasn't too late already.

He shuddered at the thought that it might be.

It didn't take him long to find Megatron, nor did it take him long to start telling Megatron exactly what he thought of the situation and his lack of wanting to help. He argued. He yelled. Points were made clear. Crystal clear. But Megatron wasn't listening. He didn't care to. He humored Knock Out enough to let him rant for a while, but his stance was unchanging.

Somewhere during this 'conversation', unbeknownst to Knock Out, his partner had returned to the Nemesis. The rescue mission a success, not only because of Starscream – but because of Autobots.

Megatron eventually got bored of the medics ranting and raving. His mind was made up, he wasn't going after Breakdown. It was his own fault he'd been captured, and he did not want to waste time, resources or manpower going after him. The loss of one con was nothing in the grand scheme of things. It wasn't like Breakdown was of any use. Knock Out could get another assistant, afterall.

More arguing ensued – but was quickly dismissed with a simple wrist flick of the Decepticon Warlord, and a snort. Knock Out was swiftly escorted out of the room.

He'd tried.

He'd tried and failed.

His spark ached. He'd done all he could, but he knew that by now? Breakdown was no doubt lost. Part of him wanted to go after Starscream, to see if he could help with the rescue efforts – not that he was much of a fighter, but something, anything was better than being on this ship at this point.

Once again, he moved with purpose back toward the medbay. For what? He wasn't sure – his mind racing. Supplies. He needed supplies. Medical supplies. Yes. Maybe there was a chance. Maybe he could get a groundbridge and help. Megatron wasn't going to go after Breakdown, but Knock Out would. Maybe there was something left of his partner that could be patched up, and saved. Knock Out was the best medic there was, surely he could do something.

The door slid open, only the sight of what was inside made Knock Out's jaw drop. This wasn't how he'd left things. He was furious, and sure, he'd been blinded with rage. But he hadn't left the medbay like this. He hadn't trashed it. His tools strewn haphazardly all over the floor.

He stood, frozen. Red optics wide as they scanned the room, moving from one tool to the next, before his gaze settled on a sight he hadn't seen in a long time. Breakdown huddled behind a table.

He couldn't see the extent of the damage from here. But.. He was alive. That was the main thing. A cautious step forwards. It'd been a long time since he'd had to comfort Breakdown from a relapse of his paranoia – and he couldn't even begin to imagine where the other Mech was mentally right now. Not in a good place, that much was evident. Could Knock Out even get him out of this...? How could he tell him, reassure him, that everything would be alright?

Another step forwards.

“Breakdown?” His voice calm, but hopefully loud enough for his partner to hear with his servos over his helm.

“I'm here.”

[Breakdown]

     How long had he been here waiting? It seemed like an eternity. The voices were getting louder, more aggressive, and the silence around him only made the paranoia worse. He was HEARING the humans and their tools around him as though he were still there, but he knew he had safely returned to the Nemesis. Or was he? Was this really an trick of his mind, or maybe something MECH had done to his processor to make him believe he were home just to have him put down his guard? A trick.. maybe that was what it was. This was all just a trick. It had to be, because Knock Out would have been there had it been real. Knock Out would have been waiting for him like he usually was.

     "Breakdown."
     'Silas'

     The call of his name came faint to him. Or had he heard his name? Was he imagining that too? Breakdown heard something moving, just barely, and he lifted his head to stare at the wall straight ahead of him. Instinctively every portion of his internal workings clicked into overdrive and caused a heightened want to keep anything unrecognized to him at a distance. So when the sounds started to move closer, Breakdown's most basic of those instincts started to trigger- to defend himself. With a flick of his servos his hammers came armed and at the ready to strike.

     '... won't survive ...'

     The table he had been previously hiding behind was the first thing to be taken out. The sound of the impact was loud, as was the sound of it striking the wall across the room from where it had been stationed prior to Breakdown smashing it with his hammer. It probably took some stuff out along the way before it settled on the floor, now folded in a V shape that bent in where it had been struck. The goal had been to hit the cause of the sounds that had been heading his way to remain at bay, but it was such a blinded attempt that it was off enough to not even come close to impact. Even if Knock Out hadn't moved there would have been nothing more than a gust of air at the table's passing felt by him.

     '... sacrifice ...'

     Without anything to block him from direct contact with the offender now, Breakdown charged forward towards Knock Out with his weapons at the ready, both as a display of intimidation as well as the clear indication of just what he was planning to do when within range. Paranoia had clouded his judgement and put him into a very unstable place, making it impossible for him to decipher who standing in the room with him. He didn't see Knock Out standing there. No. He saw that human instead, looking up at him with that smirk on his face. He wasn't moving just.... STANDING, like he wasn't even phased by the brute's actions. That only served to anger him more and his denta pressed together. 

     'Open him up'

     The distance was closed enough and the hammer arm raised, ready to come crashing down and land a devastating blow to the human. 

     "Breakdown."

     That time he'd heard his name, a mental repeat of Knock Out's call to him. Though he was paused in all movements, he didn't lower his arm and just stood there... staring. Being in so close to Knock Out would have made it easier now to observe the external damage that had been done, with the varying scrapes and punctures at different points, his chest cavity now with an unusual crooked seam splitting it right down the middle. Those weren't the most prominent ones, though, and some could have been looked at as mere battle damage to the sight of someone who didn't have close contact with Breakdown on a daily basis. The most notable? The one pieces of him that was clearly gone...

     His right optic was missing, bits of yellow screen still embedded in the outer portions of metal, but the circuitry within wasn't dead. A small fragment of light was brightening and dulling out wildly as it tried to focus. Breakdown was trying to recognize him, to remember if this were friend or foe, pushing his processor to its limit. He saw the human, but the voice didn't match. That belonged to someone else, someone that he had been hoping to see. The more he focused on the voice, the more that the image of Silas faded, revealing... red.

     Someone familiar; Finally it was someone familiar.

    When it all came into focus, Breakdown's hammers morphed back to normal servos again and all signs of aggression left him. Now much more aware of his physical surroundings, he right away realized who he had almost struck and he felt a painful sting in his spark.

     "K-Knock Out? Is... is it really you?"

     Knock Out was here. He wanted to touch him, to make sure that this wasn't his mind playing tricks on him. He started to reach out to him but he was barely able to even take a step before the aftermath of the strain on his system took hold. Exhausted, Breakdown collapsed to his knees and sat there hunched forward enough that his helm could have tapped Knock Out if he didn't move, servos limp at his sides. While the position seemed to be relaxed, it was anything but. Breakdown was ridged, tense to the point where he was trembling. The fear plagued him like a virus, reducing him to almost to the brink of a complete meltdown. Knock Out was the only one who he would ever let him see him in this state-

     Not like any of this was a first for his partner. Back then it had been because of his own inability to cope with what was happening around him. This time it was MECH's actions that had managed to reduce him to a cowering mass. They were clearly quite dangerous if they could shatter all of Breakdown's nerves in less than a full day after the kind of scrap the two partners had been through where he hadn't even been phased.

     "Knock Out. T-they didn't follow me, did they? The humans... they can't find me, right?" Breakdown stared at Knock Out, his look of fear then switching to something much more aggressive. His digits curled up and formed fists at his sides, though he was still too weak from recovery at the moment to lift them. Probably the best for Knock Out since Breakdown ( as he was now ) may have slipped into whatever illusion he had been when Knock Out had first entered and gone after him again. That time, though, he may have not stopped. "I'll kill them all. I'll turn them into dust! They'll pay for what they did to me! I swear that I'll make them PAY!" 

     Not tired enough to punch the floor after that outburst, though, which left a nice sized dent under his left fist.

[Knock Out]

Knock Out knew to stand still. The cautious two steps he'd taken would be as far as he would go into the room. Having helped Breakdown through things like this in the past? He knew what not to do; and knew that until he could get through to his partner? Hanging back would be safest for them both. He was within reach of the door, and could quickly turn and flee should he feel like he had to.

Hopefully it wouldn't come to that. Nothing says 'supportive partner' like running away screaming.

He tensed up as Breakdown lifted his head as he was addressed. Would it be that easy..? He heard the shifting transformation as Breakdowns servos became armed, turning into hammers. No, it would not be that easy. It never was. Breakdown had gone on the defensive, something that worried Knock Out – he was no match for the much bigger Mech, and he didn't really want to use the Energon prod on him. His gaze briefly darting around the room to locate the weapon, just incase.

He shouldn't have taken his optics off Breakdown, as it left him without much warning before the table that Breakdown had been using to hide behind was suddenly launched across the room with great power and speed. He visibly flinched, ready to duck out the path of the flying table. Luckily for him, Breakdown seemed to be off his game and the table was sent crashing through yet more lab equipment, before coming to rest on the floor in a not so adorable 'V' shape.

Sigh. Those tables were not cheap to replace, nor was that equipment... and he had promised Megatron a long time ago that he'd keep Breakdown in check. Maybe he could unbend the table somehow. Or at least Breakdown could. Knock Out wouldn't be able to do slag with it, not that he'd reduce himself to doing such menial tasks.

The noise of the table being flung across the room had drawn some unwanted attention from the vehicons in the hallway, and one of them moved into the med bay, ready to go on the attack should there be a problem in here. They didn't even get a word out to ask what was going on before Knock Out hissed at them as a warning to leave. He didn't even turn to see who'd entered the room, he just knew he wanted them gone before they made things worse. He could handle this. And if he couldn't? He'd be out in the hallway before too long.

The vehicon thankfully took the hint, and quickly departed. Figuring that this was just some weird lovers tiff, or whatever the hell was the deal with Breakdown and Knock Out. Nobody really dared ask.

Knock Out didn't have long to dwell on the vehicon, because he heard the thunderous footsteps of his partner charging toward him. For a big guy he sure was fast sometimes. Which was terrifying. Especially during moments like these when he was at his most dangerous. Now would be the utter most perfect time to turn tail and flee screaming into the hallway.

But he stood his ground...

...Which as Breakdown got closer and closer? He started to regret more and more.

The hammer held above him, he actually flinched backwards a step and trembled. His hands up defensively, long slender fingers splayed outwards. This was it. Time to run. Maybe not to the hallway, but the other side of the room looked pretty fantastic. He stared up at his partner, his spark ached at the damage he saw. He was covered in puncture marks, scratches, the crooked seam down the middle of his chassis.. His missing Optic. 'What've they done to you, Breakdown...?' He started to tremble further, not from the fear he was about to get pulverized, but because he couldn't even begin to imagine how much Breakdown was hurting physically, as well as mentally.

The moment seemed to linger for too long, and everything was deathly silent. It was time to run to the safety of the other side of the room where hopefully he could talk some sense into his partner. He didn't want to run, but Breakdown being like this scared him, especially if he was blindly about to attack; he knew full well Breakdown had no idea what was going on, so would go all out.

Except there was a familiar transformation noise again, and his hammers morphed back to normal. His field seemed.. Calmer. It didn't radiate aggression and quite so much fear, if only for a moment. Hearing Breakdown speak made him realize that maybe the worst had passed for right now, although he found himself still standing rigid like he wasn't quite sure, both servos still up defensively.

“Mhm. It's me. I'm here, you're safe now.”

He watched as Breakdown took the step forwards, expression turning to one of dismay as he collapsed to his knees – Knock Out taking a step forwards as he did, not with an intention to catch him, that would not end well, but to just let Breakdown rest his helm against him. He lowered his servos finally, one moving to rest on the back of Breakdown's helm, the other on his shoulder. He was trying to relax more, the brief feelings of panic that he'd felt moments earlier were starting to ease away.

“Shh, shh.. No, you weren't followed. They would be stupid to.” He cast a wary glance to the door. He didn't know if Breakdown had been followed, but he tried to sound reassuring – his voice quiet, soft.. Calming. If he'd been followed? The vehicons would've made quick work of the humans, surely. “They wont be able to find you, either. The Nemesis is safe. We're safe. We're safe I promise.”

There was a brief moment of calm, a brief, relieving moment of quiet before Knock Out sensed the anger ebb up in Breakdown's field once more. He held his partners helm closer to himself, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly – but it didn't stop the little outburst, and he flinched as his partners fist punched the floor.

He sighed.

“You will do no such thing. Not right now, at least.” he knew without a doubt that Breakdown could take them on, even Knock Out was half tempted to track them down at this point and do experiments on them himself after what they'd done to his partner, but he knew that would be foolish. Acting blindly out of anger never led to a good outcome, usually for the angry party. “First, we need to get you fixed up and fighting fit. A new optic shouldn't be hard to install, and the scrapes and dings can easily be patched.” he clicked his tongue, thinking.

“That seam down the middle will need buffing out, too. Hey at least I get to be the one to buff you for a change, mm?” He chuckled. Luckily it looked to be mostly cosmetic damage; and to an outsider? That's all it would be. Sadly that was not the case, and he knew this would be the reason for Breakdown slipping and relapsing over the coming days.

And Knock Out would be with him every step of the way to guide him through it.

[Breakdown]

     Safe. He was safe.

     Thinking over that simple word was a huge weight off. Breakdown eased himself into Knock Out's hold- the contact being the reassurance that he needed to be certain that he wasn't just in one of his delusional outbreaks. His frame tensed and he lifted his arms some but then the movement stopped. Breakdown was very much aware of his size and strength when in the face of both friend and foe, but always more so when in the presence of his partner. He knew of his sensitivities about his paint job, so by choice he never did anything that would even so much as chance putting a scuff on it. With all the heft and sharp edges he had? That could lead to such things and any matter of forgetting that would lead to a major scolding.

     That awareness was when he completely rational, so when he couldn't really focus on any one thing at a time? It definitely wouldn't be a good idea to chance anything.

     As much as he wanted to embrace him and just bury himself into the only safe place he had, he just let his arms sink back to his sides instead. He re-positioned himself a bit so he could rest his helm fully on Knock Out's rounded alt mode shoulder and his single good optic closed a bit while his shoulders loosened under the other's sharp digits. This moment of ease was welcoming considering everything else. Breakdown would have been able to stasis for a while and forget about what had happened if just allowed to stay like this for a while.

     'No, I can't. They're waiting for me.' 

     His optic opened wide again at the voice's warning.

     There was a level of caution tugging at the back of his mind. If he allowed himself to rest, would Silas be there waiting for him? Taunting him? He didn't know everything that MECH had done to him, but if they had been able to set up a two-way communication through his own optic to the Autobots, he wouldn't have put it past them to have been able to do that as well. The paranoia had rooted itself deep again. A few days to recover and get back to a normal place would be a blessing from Primus himself.

     'He's taking you for a fool. He pities you. He's just saying these things to you so you shape up. You're weak!'

     In spite of the voices telling him things contradictory of Knock Out, he was still able to believe his partner over them. Promise was a word that Breakdown did not just take with a grain of salt. To him it was something far more serious that had serious weight behind it. Sure, Knock Out stretched the truth sometimes about things, but never about something that would compromise his mental or physical well-being. He had also never flat out lied to him after using that word. It was something that, once used, anything set in relation to it was set in stone. Maybe it was his own foolish decision to take his partner's words as full truth, but he trusted them nonetheless. 

     The Nemesis was the heaviest defended and armed flagship in the entire Decepticon fleet, carrying the Commander and those immediately under his rank. It was flying hundreds of miles above the Earth's surface, always on the move, and cloaked to where even the Autobots couldn't find it. If their enemy's own Cybertronian technology and minds couldn't find them, then surely some silly humans wouldn't have been able to either.

     In standard, every day conversation he would have been able to figure that logic out on his own. But this was no typical situation and Breakdown couldn't base any decision off of common sense at the moment. His mind was in and out of all sorts of places and was barely registering what was happening around him right then. So for now he had to rely on Knock Out's words, and they had been enough. It was only after them that Breakdown started to fully unwind from being wrapped tighter than a spring. He was coming back into full reality now.

     'Look at the scrap you've done. You've ruined everything again.'

     Not that such a thing was a good place to be, either. Sure, it kept him here mentally, but he had to face the facts of what he'd done. Breakdown looked around the room at the various tools that were strewn about in ways that he knew Knock Out would never leave them. The table could probably be bent back into shape, but the rest of Knock Out's equipment was more than likely ruined beyond repair. Most could probably just be remade, since Knock Out liked to tinker with stuff like that, but that would still take time that shouldn't have needed to be wasted in the first place. 

     While Knock Out continued, Breakdown just listened. He was talking about repairing everything that had been done to him but the bulky mech knew that it was an unnecessary thing in entirety. The moment that Megatron learned of his arrival back to the flagship he was certain that his Commander would demand punishment for his failure in what should have been a simple scouting mission. That was not something Breakdown would be against, really. He himself needed to be reminded of what happened, what he had failed to accomplish. Before this he had been cocky enough to think that he could never be bested in the field by his adversaries, but it was mere underrated humans who had managed to take him out. Not even his rival... HUMANS. 

     "They... disabled my pain receptors, Knock Out. I couldn't feel what they were doing to me, but they made me watch it happen! Even when they ripped out my optic! I couldn't stop them but I wanted to! My weapons didn't even work! If Bulkhead hadn't shown up and got me outta there who knows what else those filthy fleshlings would have done to me...!!"

     Once that rage moment was over, in which no floors were harmed in the process of this time- he exvented heavily and just mused on what he'd said. Bulkhead had come for him; the Autobots had been there as well. AUTOBOTS had come to rescue him, even if probably for some twisted way of saving something they thought important to their own cause. He had been able to correctly predict that Megatron wouldn't come nor try to contact MECH for an arrangement of his release, but for the ENEMY to arrive in spite of clearly knowing the danger? Maybe he was fighting for the wrong side. Maybe when Starscream had mentioned 'choosing sides'...

     Musings for later.

     According to Starscream ( when the useless slag had finally arrived, forcing him to dishonor himself by attacking the very bot who had saved his life ), Megatron wouldn't send help after him, so he wouldn't let him decide the full extent of punishment even if he WERE his High Commander. There would probably be more to come at his hand anyway. In the mean time he would issue his own reminder of his shortcomings; something that he would have to look at every day.

     He knew what price to pay.

     Breakdown was no fool. He knew that to replace an optic would cost resources and time that they just didn't have to spare. While he didn't know the full extent of the damages, he could only figure the consequences of some of the damage he'd seen being done if left unfixed. The rest of the work needed to be patched to prevent stress fractures and easy target points. The optic? He could be without that. He'd have a blind spot that he would need to be extra cautious about but that would just mean he'd have to make sure no one got on that side.

    "Knock Out?

     His voice was soft as he spoke from his resting spot, almost strained. It was very different from the confident way he usually talked, or even just moments before when speaking of what he'd endured. It would have almost seemed pathetic to anyone listening in.

     Movement again.

     The blue mech's frame stressed as it fought to lift, his support strut wheezing in protest and causing his entire frame to tremble until he was sitting completely upright on his knees, only far enough back where he could look his partner directly in the face. While his left optic was able to focus just fine the empty socket of the other only served a visual wire-twister, especially when the mechanical noises started to come from it. The circuits didn't register that the optic was missing and were misfiring shots in an attempt to focus it in what it identified as a non lit area. The way the screen was fractured coupled with the ripped wires in the back and cracks and scuffs at the exterior of the optic chamber was evidence of just how aggressive the removal of it had been.

     Oh, once Breakdown's pain receptors were turned back he was definitely gonna feel it.

     "I don't want my optic replaced. Please, just.. patch it up or something. Let it be the punishment I give to myself for my failure. I won't miss it. Really. And don't argue with me."

[Knock Out]

All Knock Out could do was stand still and wait until Breakdown felt safe enough to pull away. Not that he minded being like this at all. He noted Breakdown raise his arms and lower them, sighing quietly. Times like these, he didn't really care all too much about his paintjob. He was selfish and a complete prissy narcissist, sure, but there were a few rare times when he wasn't entirely thinking of only himself.

This was one of those rare times.

He would compromise, though. As Breakdown's helm leaned against his shoulder, he took another half a step closer to close the gap between himself and his partner, leaning against him a little. He was too small to wrap his arms fully around Breakdown, but he would give it his best shot. One arm awkwardly shifting to attempt a weird, one armed hug. The other servo still on the back of Breakdown's helm, holding him close.

His field radiated calm, hoping that Breakdown would pick up on it and in turn calm himself further. Although it was briefly replaced by a glimmer of anger as Breakdown explained just what the humans had done to him, followed by a flash of confusion. Bulkhead..? The Autobots? What?

“Shh. Hey. All that matters is that you're here now, and that you're safe. Sadly I'll have to turn your pain receptors back on,” he wasn't looking forward to that. So that's why Breakdown seemed totally okay despite having the injuries that he did. “Mostly because, well, you need to be able to feel things.”

He was quiet a moment as Breakdown said his name, fingertips tracing along the back of the others helm to continue to reassure him, when the larger Mech pulled away and shifted to his knees. He couldn't seem to pull his attention away from the missing optic. He lowered his arms to his sides, although he seemed to hesitate in doing so.

“Wait, you don't? But it'd be so easy to replace!” He sounded surprised by what Breakdown wanted, like maybe he hadn't thought it through, and was acting and saying things in the heat of the moment. The last part of Breakdown's sentence made him stop though, pouting out his bottom lip. “Have it your way, though. I'm sure I can find a patch that looks adequate, and if you change your mind later we can always replace it, I suppose.” Ugh. Is this what he really wanted? “Can I meet you halfway and give you a new weapon, at least?”

[Breakdown]

     Breakdown knew that he would need to have his pain receptors turned on eventually, he had only hoped to push it off for a bit. Just as Knock Out wasn't looking forward to it, neither was he. Just from what had been seen was enough to hint to the level of pain he was going to be in when everything was flicked on. Feeling things was one of those things that was very good to be able to do, so that would mean he'd just... have to endure the torture. Again. On a different level this time, but definitely again. On the flip side of that coin, having everything disabled was odd to him because even though he knew his partner was touching him delicately to comfort him, he couldn't feel it. So really it didn't do much to make him feel better.

     The fact that Knock Out was going to be upset with him saying to leave the optic alone came at no surprise, which was why he had to add him to not argue with him. Really, Breakdown wasn't feeling the desire to go through it with him. This was what he wanted, pushed to the point of dillusional exhaustion or not, it was much more honorable to him to accept his own means of punishment then to parade around like everything was alright when it really wasn't. His commander could do whatever later.

     "Knock Out, I'm sure. It's alright, really." Breakdown knew that Knock Out was looking at his optic, whether it was the gruesome sight of it or just the sound coming from it that drew his attention, and it made him uncomfortable. The larger mech turned his helm away from him so that it was hidden from view. He was also thinking over Knock Out's request. While he didn't like the thought of wasting things unnecessarily, his weapon WAS pretty slow when it came to firing. He wasn't the best at targeting already so the accuracy was horrible and the time that it took for the charges to load was laughable. It would definitely make sense to upgrade, but did he want to put that on Knock Out? There was so much he was needing to do already.

    ".. Alright. Only if it isn't gonna be trouble. I ain't feeling too hot about being worked on for a second time in the same day. Even if it is you, it's just... uncomfortable." Breakdown almost felt bad saying that. It wasn't that he didn't trust Knock Out, it was literally just the fact that he'd endured being touched around on and had pieces removed from him already once that day so going through it again probably could trigger another attack. "If I were to slip outta it and lose myself again... if I hurt you..." Breakdown had sensed the reluctance in his partner when he had lowered his arms. Was it alright? Did he dare touch him when he could barely tell when contact was made?

     He dared. He needed this.

     Breakdown reached out again ( strategically with the left servo ), not stopping this time. He touched Knock Out's cheek, but the size of his servo made it where when the palm and thumb touched as he wanted, his digits were wrapped around to the middle back of the mech's helm. There was silence as he thought over his words and what he was agreeing to let Knock Out do. There was no way he was completely alright with it but he didn't think he would be able to talk him out of it anyway.

     "If I were to lose it and hurt ya, I don't know what'd I'd do. Probably throw myself out of the airlock." Breakdown sighed and dropped the servo to his shoulder so that he could draw him close again. He pulled him into his side at the left, his arm wrapping around him tightly ( not tight enough to damage him ). The big lunk just wanted to hold him for a moment, needing to sense the relaxed nature of the spark that throbbed in the red mech's chassis. "Don't hold back if ya gotta stop me, okay? Don't ever. I know what I can do if I lose it. You're the one thing I ain't gonna risk. Not ever. So you do what ya have'ta. Got it?"

     Breakdown rested his helm against Knock Out's and closed his good optic some. "I can't feel ya, Knock Out. That bothers me. Fix me up, Doc. You're the only one I trust to do it."

[Knock Out]

Knock Out couldn't understand why Breakdown wanted to leave the optic as is. He could so easily get it replaced. They had the best technology available here on the Nemesis, in the Medbay... He could have it modified even, into something better. Why patch what could so easily be fixed? He just... Couldn't put himself into that mindset of wanting to patch it. If something like that ever happened to Knock Out? He would get it replaced in an instant! He didn't want to look ugly.

Was that what he was worried about..? That Breakdown would look ugly without an optic? No... Breakdown was a looker, at least Knock Out thought so, and would be handsome without it, nor would it change his feelings for him. But...

Ghnn. He wanted so badly to argue over it. He wanted to convince Breakdown that he wasn't thinking straight. That he'd have other ways to remember his 'failure' as he put it. It would be the talking point of the Nemesis for a long time. A constant reminder. The almighty Breakdown, bested by humans, saved by the Autobots! That's what they would say. He didn't need a physical reminder! He didn't need to go without an optic for the sake of pride, the fact he was doing it as a punishment to himself... It wouldn't just be Breakdown that would remember. Knock Out would have it as a glaring reminder every time he looked at his partner. A reminder of the time he almost lost him...

Breakdown...

He'd gotten lost in his own thoughts for a moment there, and had zoned out - but Breakdown's voice snapped him out of it. He blinked a few times, and realized he had been staring at his partners missing optic for probably too long. Enough to make things awkward. He glanced down, but it was too late; Breakdown had already turned away.

“If you're sure.” He mumbled, sighing.

His gaze lingered on the floor. He didn't sound sure himself. He wanted Breakdown to be able to make his own choice, but at the same time..? Was this the right one?

Before he could get lost in another argument with himself, Breakdown spoke again. Knock Out managed a weak smile, but his gaze was still fixed on the floor.

“It won't be any trouble – I'm happy to do it. You know this,” He wanted to do anything he could to help his partner, and if the confidence boost of an upgraded weapon helped even a little? That's what he would do. He looked up then, smiling. “If it helps any, I wont turn the pain receptors back on until you're fully patched up, and if you're worried about lashing out? I could always take preventative measures by restraining you, and-”

He was cut off as Breakdown reached up to touch his cheek. He hadn't been expecting that, and he leaned into his servo some, closing his optics. His own servo reaching up to rest on Breakdown's own servo as it cradled his helm, he sighed. Content in the moment, knowing it would be a short one.

“You wont be throwing yourself out of any airlock, because I know you won't hurt me,” He smiled weakly at that, opening his optics and looking up at his partner. “But, if it makes you feel better I wouldn't hold back.” It was a tiny white-lie. Mostly because he didn't know what he'd do if that day should ever come. He dreaded to think it even would. Hopefully it wouldn't be today. Hopefully it wouldn't happen at all.

He closed his own optics as Breakdown rested his helm against his.

“I'll fix you.” He murmured softly.

He wanted to stay like this for a good while longer, but with Breakdown being unable to feel anything? Who knew how badly messed up he was internally. The uneven seam on the middle of Breakdown's chassis had meant the humans had tinkered internally. Things could be a lot worse than they looked, and the only way to find out for certain was to get him onto an examination table.

“Go to one of the tables, whenever you're ready.”

He would gently nudge his helm against Breakdown's and smile. If anyone could fix him? It was Knock Out.

[Breakdown]

     The soldier knew that Knock Out wasn't happy with his choice and, even though he had told him not to argue with him, he was probably arguing the situation out in his head. Breakdown knew how he worked, what made him tick... that was part of what made them a good team. Knock Out was probably going through the situation, trying to come up with some way to convince him otherwise of his decision. The way that he spoke when he finally agreed about the optic confirmed this.

     Breakdown would have stayed in that moment with Knock Out for much longer had it not been the other factors keeping him from being able to enjoy it more. Breakdown opened his good optic just enough to look at his partner as he felt weight being pushed against him from where their helms made contact. Often he found himself watching Knock Out just to be able to capture that peaceful expression he had while he slept. The little red mech was difficult to be around sometimes and often he did things that would have irritated even the most patient of them. Then... there were times like these. These were the rare moments that Breakdown was reminded of that made the rest of the time not even bother him. Knock Out was like one of those delicate pieces of glass that you always wanted to look at but could never touch so when he had the opportunity to be close like this, he jumped at it, even if a bit awkward.

     "I know you will. You're the only one that's able to make me fightin' fit and good as new. Complete." The final word had a hidden meaning behind it but he didn't let Knock Out linger on it too long. There was a nudge of his helm in return of Knock Out's and Breakdown gave a small half smile.

     The large mech pulled his helm away from Knock Out's own, slowly, to ensure that any weight that had been against him would have been balanced out so the red spitfire wouldn't go toppling over. His servo lingered for a moment longer, the thumb rubbing lightly just under Knock Out's optic before it turned towards his partner's own servo and took hold of those clawed digits. They were sharp, able to scratch up any paint surface through to manufacturer base if the medic tried, and intimidating when seeing just waving around on their own close to one's faceplate. Compared to when they were being held in Breakdown's, though? They looked nimble and delicate... and Breakdown treated them that way.

     His focus was entirely on what he was doing, watching himself as he held Knock Out's servo carefully. He made sure to know when he was touching them so he didn't apply pressure, and would very tenderly caress the back of it. The actions he took were those similar to a bitlit getting their first chance to touch their cohorts after awakening, cute for that situation but a little more odd for this one. The sight of a massive mech like Breakdown, known only for demolition and wrecking, inspecting Knock Out's digits knowing how to use those large hands of his for something so... gentle? Someone from the outside probably would have figured it to just be an aftereffect of his malfunction where he was still in a complex middle ground between reality and delusion. 

     After releasing Knock Out's servo, the big guy maneuvered himself around some until he was finally back to his pedes. The left moved behind him slightly as he countered the imbalance of his weight, a subconscious thing he usually did without anyone noticing since the move was quite minimal, though this time without being able to feel the floor ( creepy thing, knowing that you were touching the floor but not able to figure out just where it was unless you were looking at it ) it was much more evident as he had to not only watch it, but deal with the odd new depth perception issue.

     That was gonna be fun.

     "Lets get this scrap over with. Faster I'm outta here, the faster I can get back to Earth and give MECH a well deserved POUNDING."

     Breakdown made his way to the nearest examination table and propped himself back against it. His optic looked around, taking a final note of his surrounding. Everything was clear... okay.

'This is a safe place. It's only Knock Out. He'll get me up and runnin' like new. It's all good.' Breakdown was trying to reassure himself- just in case- making sure that he remembered that the one that would be working on him was not in it to harm him in any way. Knock Out had mentioned the possibility of restraints, which he knew would probably be the safer bet for them both. That annoying voice was still lingering around and if having his frame cracked open triggered anything he doubted that either one of them would be able to physically stop him. Like he really needed to run into Megatron while he was having one of his breaks. THAT would go over quite well.

     "Lets play it safe, Doc. If I lose it again I don't wanna have free range to just wreck all the stuff ya got in here. I know you wouldn't let me hear the the end of it."

[Knock Out]

“Complete...”

Knock Out smiled at the word, repeating it quietly. He didn't have much time to dwell on it, even if he wanted to, as Breakdown pulled away from him once more – although not fully. He blinked in surprise as his partner took his servo in his. He tilted his helm, watching him curiously.

He often forgot that Breakdown, while being... Huge, could be so very gentle. The big lug was sometimes like a bull in a china shop if things were moved around the Med Bay or their quarters without him knowing. One time Knock Out had decided to redecorate and shift things around the Med Bay just slightly. Big mistake.

He quickly learned not to do that after Breakdown constantly knocked into things, trampling things beyond repair and knocking things off the benches and tables; shattering them. Knock Out had lost his temper that day and screamed at him, but quickly learned not to change things so drastically without warning.

He would remain quiet as Breakdown toyed with his servo, just enjoying the attention and the tender moment. It was a scary thought that should Breakdown really want to? He could do a lot of damage to the much smaller Mech. He noted the focus and concentration on Breakdown's face, knowing that he was probably trying his hardest to be gentle – not an easy feat when you couldn't feel a thing.

As Breakdown released his servo, he would gently lower it to his side and stand up a little straighter, as if getting mentally ready himself for what he had to do in a few moments. While he knew he was a damn good medic, the best even, the fact that he had to do this to Breakdown, making him relive what he'd just been though at the hands of MECH? It was a scary thought.

“Nu-huh,” He corrected. “The sooner I do this, the faster you can fix my examination table.” He winked, managing a smile as he pulled away and moved to the other side of the Med Bay to start gathering up the equipment that would be needed.

“We'll play it safe, if only to ease your processor,” He nodded, moving over to the table where Breakdown was waiting. He set aside the tools needed, and would begin to clamp the statis restraints around Breakdown's wrists and ankles. “You alright?” He asked quietly, knowing that he'd have to keep talking to Breakdown throughout the procedure, to keep him level mentally.

He would make sure the restraints were good and tight, and wait for Breakdown's answer before proceeding with anything further.

[Breakdown]

     "Oh... right. That. Uh. Sorry?" The reply was a bit sheepish with a nervous half smile given until Knock Out turned away then he cleared his throat.

     Honestly he'd forgotten about the incident with the examination table and he glanced over where it had come to rest. It was a little bit of a tinge to the nerves to think that he had almost hit Knock Out with it ( or rather, Silas, as his screwy processor was registering at the time ) and was more than happy to just forget about the damage he had caused. As far as he was concerned, he'd just bend that table into place, replace or repair what he'd busted up, and they would never speak of the incident again.

     While Knock Out was busying himself across the room with gathering his tools, Breakdown took the opportunity to glance around the medbay. Having had his frame redone by one of the best on Cybertron meant that he was as sturdy as they got -even compared to those despicable wreckers- and it took a lot for something to get through and cause any actual damage. Not that he had never been on one of the tables in the past. Sure, he had spent some time on the table during routine checks and minor things that his partner was determined to fix, but it was rarely anything of this magnitude. Now that he was spending a bit more time laying out this way gave him the chance to take everything in. And from this perspective? It was certainly odd. 

     Now that he was looking at the dark, drab surroundings, he could understand why a lot of the team didn't like to come here. Surely it wasn't because of Knock Out. He was the chief medical officer for a reason. If you wanted to be patched up, then surely you'd want the best to be working on you. He was rather easy on the optics as well, a fact that he was not shy about spreading around nor angry about hearing from others. It was nice hearing others compliment his partner's finish, knowing that they could look but never be able to touch. Knock Out ran everything in here like clockwork with tools arranged in perfect rows where they were easily accessible and containers of fresh energon lining the shelves should levels need to be replenished. Breakdown touched almost everything in here and kept it clean and organized for the medic, so why had he not seen the dark and gloom that filled this room? Perhaps he just hadn't noticed because most of the time he was acting as the assistant to the procedures, or maybe he was just so used to seeing it all throughout the ship that it hadn't crossed his mind. No wonder he enjoyed the bright rotation of Earth's sun at dusk and dawn.

     "Eh-what?" Breakdown was snapped back from his moment of spacing out to look at Knock Out who was now back at his side. "I'm functional if that's what you're-" 

     He was interrupted by the sound of a light hum and when he tried to turn...

     Breakdown looked at the stasis restraints as they were placed on his limbs and he turned his clenched servos around in them some. They were good and tight so he wouldn't be getting out of them. Perfect.

     'What the frag is he doing?!'

     "I'm okay, Doc. Don't worry." 

     'Get me out of these!'

     "Ready when you are."

     'Let me loose and maybe I'll let you live!'

     'Shut up in there.'

     "Hey, uh... Knock Out?"

     Breakdown could feel himself starting to panic and his frame tensed, straining some against the restraints. He was watching the medic's every move and took careful note of the tools he had brought over. Some of them he saw being used often such as the scanner and those needed for external damages. The others were less common and they made him a little hesitant. Was he going to open him up? It made sense, since MECH had cracked through and messed around, but knowing that it was necessary didn't make him feel any better about it. No, he wouldn't let this happen. He would force himself to think of something else.

     "You remember back when we first met? When I was assigned as your bodyguard?" Well, that was a good conversation starter at least and a way to keep himself distracted. Knock Out probably needed to focus though, so if he didn't talk to him much he would understand.

[Knock Out]

“Hm?” Knock Out would glance up from the hand-held scanner at Breakdown's sheepish, quiet apology. “Oh. It's no bother. It could've been worse,” He waved a hand briefly in the direction of the now-V-shaped examination table across the room.

“You could've broken two.” He smiled. His tone slightly cheerful and yet serious as he shifted further from concerned partner to no-nonsense medic, his attention shifting almost immediately back to the scanner as it powered on; the smile fading from his face as he began to concentrate on the task at hand.

Along with the tools he had collected, there was a datapad. He wanted a log of exactly what MECH had done to Breakdown, something to reference later should anyone befall the same fate of running into the pathetic fleshbags. MECH were a serious threat, that much was evident; and any and all information they could gather of just what they did, or had tried to do, would be no doubt beneficial.

So far everything was very routine. Everything was normal. He glanced up from the scanner once it'd finally powered on and was ready to be used, and noted Breakdown tensing against the restraints, which made his red optics narrow just slightly.

“Try not to do that, mm?” He gently reminded, moving over to double check the restraints were secured, setting the scanner aside for now. The more Breakdown tensed, the more Knock Out worried – even if he trusted his partner fully, he didn't want him to break free and lash out during the procedure. That wouldn't end well for either Mech. It would be something he paid close attention to throughout the coming hours.

“As for when we first met, how could I forget?” He tsk'd softly, chuckling. He sidestepped, quiet for a moment as he leaned over to pull the diagnostic cables that seemingly writhed from the walls. He didn't need to do much else, the cables moved on their own and would attach themselves to Breakdown in various places; his shoulders, the inside of his forearms and thighs. Breakdown may not be able to feel pain, but Knock Out wanted to monitor him throughout this - taking every precaution, just incase. Who knew what MECH had done, or what kind of system shock Breakdown could go into during the procedure; especially as he would be awake during it; unless things got bad, in which case Knock Out would have to put his partner into temporary stasis.

The screen beside the examination table would blip on once everything was connected properly. He would push the larger screen backwards and out of Breakdown's range of vision – not wanting him to look at it and send himself into an unnecessary panic should things take a downward turn.

“You were a bumbling lugnut that always got in my way, for a start,” He continued as he looked over the screen, humming quietly and nodding at what he saw in the moving graphs and lines that moved across the screen constantly. He could tell at first glance what was what, and his face showed no indication of if things were good, or bad. He moved forwards, plugging the datapad into a jack so it could record these screens. He didn't mean what he'd said in a bad way, his first impression of Breakdown was less than stellar; and he knew that Breakdown didn't think too highly of him back then either.

Many, many years of working and talking at the same time paid off sometimes, and while some may not appreciate the fact he was overly chatty? He was very much focused on the task at hand and a complete professional, despite recalling memories that seemed so long ago now and talking so effortlessly as he worked. Some patients needed the conversation to distract themselves from what was going on, and Breakdown was one such patient; possibly even more so than most. Knock Out may have been an arrogant aft, but he did truly care about his patients and wanted them to feel comfortable during their stay in the Med Bay, even if sometimes his attitude showed anything but. Breakdown was no regular patient, so Knock Out would do anything in his power to keep him comfortable, and calm.

“I seem to recall you didn't appreciate my attitude,” He grinned, flexing his servo gently. There was a the familiar whir of hydraulics as his limb shifted into the circular saw. “I'm glad you warmed up to me though.”

He would lean in quickly, starting at the top of Breakdown's chassis he would begin to cut down the ugly, crooked welded seam. He kept his saw sharp, and so it had no trouble cutting through the thick metal. His free servo leaning on the side of the table to keep himself steady as he leant over the much bigger Mech. His gaze would shift between looking at the screen, and what he was doing. The colored graphs and bars on the diagnostics screen would peak in places, which was to be expected. This would be stressful for Breakdown.

Knock Out would go as quickly as he could, but would continue talking to help keep his partners mind off it. His voice easily heard over the slicing of metal. He was going quick for two reasons. The first being the sooner he did this, the sooner he could repair any internal damage Breakdown had and his partner could start to recover from this – both physically and mentally, and the second was that... He had a morbid curiosity to find out just what they'd done. He couldn't help it. He wanted to see what the humans had done, what they were actually capable of.

“Do you remember that time you took out that Autobot slaghead on the field after I yelled at you? It was back before you used to talk so much, too. We hadn't been working together too long, a couple of Joors I believe, and I couldn't stand the fact you were so quiet.” He would continue to cut through the thick plated armor of Breakdown's chassis, about halfway down now. The occasional glance was made to the restraints, just incase. But they were tight, even if Breakdown struggled.

“I think I remember storming off in a huff, getting all worked up about how I didn't want or need a bodyguard, and screamed at you to frag off and go bother someone else. You remember that? Right on the field, too. I don't think you even did anything wrong or knocked anything over that day.” he chuckled, clearing his throat.

“I'm terrible sometimes. Anyway, I stormed off.. You followed, as was your duty, and I was so pre-occupied with my little glitch-fit that I didn't notice a cannon aimed at me. You did.” He would continue to cut, fully focused now as the first step of many was almost complete. 

“I think I remember realizing that maybe I did need a bodyguard afterall, after that little incident. And I was lucky that the one assigned to me was good at his job, and was willing to put up with me.” His mouth would curve into a smile, one that wouldn't fade quite so quickly. There was no doubt that Knock Out wouldn't be around today if it weren't for Breakdown. He'd saved his spark many times back during the war, and owed him so much. “...One that continues to put up with me.” Not that Breakdown was officially Knock Out's bodyguard anymore, but he might as well be; the larger Mech sure had an imposing figure next to the much shorter cherry-red Medic.

That little memory was a good one, and was probably the start of Knock Out starting to realize that he needed Breakdown more than he probably let on, and it was just long enough that the awful seam done by MECH had now been cut open once more. Knock Out would power off his saw for now, and turned his attention briefly to Breakdown.

“You still doing alright? That was probably the worst part over and done with. Am I alright to keep going?” Not that he would give Breakdown much of a choice; this had to be done, but if Breakdown needed him to pause for right now, then he would for a few moments.

[Breakdown]

     "Well, next time I'll have to make you a matching pair. You're always talking about 'sprucing' up the place. Now that demolition type of decorating I can do." It was light-sparked humor, since Breakdown would never think of making a pair of destroyed berths, and he chuckled a bit. While that may be amusing to him, it would be less so to Lord Megatron, and it would probably get both of them in some kind of trouble. He thought of their Warlord coming in here to the sight of the bent tables to either side of the door and the reaction he would have for them. The smile faded to a half frown.

     Breakdown rattled the restraints a bit more, a more subconscious level this time as he momentarily lost his train of thought but it was brought back when Knock Out commented about not doing that. He looked at the medic, confused for a moment, but once he spotted where he was looking he knew right away. There was only a simple nod and he laid his helm back again, returning to his gaze around the room as he sprawled his digits and pressed the palms of his servos to the berth. He had to keep himself still.

     "First impressions. I'm sure you'd heard your fair share of 'shove it up your aft' in your life cycle. Personally, I thought you could have done with an adjustment or two."

     The soldier was only half listening when Knock Out was about to get into his story, focused on the cables that came down at him. He tensed up, but refused to move, instead flinching some as they connected into place. Those things kind of freaked him out, mainly cause they reminded him of some awkward living thing. Soundwave had similar appendages on him... which really, didn't make the thought of them any better. Being reminded of anything on Soundwave could make someone a little weary. When he heard the small sound after everything was locked in place, he looked over to Knock Out again, focusing on his expression that really didn't give him any hint to what he saw on the monitor he pushed out of the way. The medic probably knew that he'd be able to read most of what was there, as he had been taught well by his hand, hence for getting it out of the way. Everything he was doing seemed to be strategic, even the moment he turned on the saw.

     Right, that saw. Oh, Knock Out could try to keep his mind off of it but in truth it brought just about everything back. He shut his optic tight as he heard it connect with the metal of his chassis, not wanting to watch the sparks that jumped up around that point, and his servos formed fists as he gave a couple of firm jerks to the restraints. It wasn't a moment after he had tried to shut himself off from what was happening here that he was taken back to that place in the tunnel, with the monitors around him, the machines, the restraints the... humans. They were looking at him, all just staring and taking notes, poking around on their machines as the wiring they had hooked up to him fed them his biological diagnostics. Someone mentioned 'life source'. The cutting into his chassis by their crude tools that could barely get through...

     No, that was enough.

     Breakdown found his way back by Knock Out's voice and he watched the medic while he moved between focusing on cutting down the exact line that MECH had to looking at the monitors as his spark's signal peaked. Oh, yeah, it was erratic alright, but only for the moment that he had slipped back to that place of nightmares. Now that he was back here again the most he would have to do is just keep himself from jerking away and risking Knock Out messing up on his delicate task? Well, he would stay here. His partner was working so hard to try and figure out what had been screwed up internally by those blasted humans that he didn't want to endanger anything. There was an odd look to the other mech's optics... Breakdown shrugged it off. Knock Out was always like this when he was completely focused on his work.

     So lay there quietly he did, listening to Knock Out's story. It made him think, which was a good thing when trying to stay on this level of conscious. His optic found a spot overtop of the door to the medlab to stare at while the medic worked and chatted at him. It was easy to hear him, and even if he didn't, he knew the story. Breakdown had been paying enough attention to save him, but he had come close to failing, and that was something that had been as unacceptable back then as it would have been now; though now it was definitely a ten-fold level. Even though he kept the medic safe out on the field, watching his back and monitoring for the signals that they had come up with- there was always that chance that he wouldn't be there. If humans had done this to him while not knowing anything about Cybertronian technology, then now that they maybe gotten their hands on some? The incident with Roulette... everything. They had to know something, and if they did, that meant that they could become more dangerous. There was a chance that another face off against them could have a different outcome.

     “You still doing alright? That was probably the worst part over and done with. Am I alright to keep going?”

     "Yeah, I'm good. Just thinking." 

     Breakdown nodded. There was the sound of his alt mode's engine revving again, only it was louder this time as the containment of most of the mechanics was now exposed. He didn't even notice that the saw was off until that moment and having the saw off meant that Knock Out had managed to cut through. He really was glad that was over and he started to explore the medlab again with his singular optic...

     Wait... was that a stain above the door?

     "Knock Out, there's something I gotta say to you."

     A small clearing of his throat was heard before he continued. 

     "I.. I was never supposed to be your bodyguard. I mean, I was, in the sense that I was assigned to you, but it was never an official thing. I was a stand in until they were able to pull someone in who was trained and qualified for the task. No one could stand to work with you because of your attitude and deposition. They could scuff at the orders and toss them aside then return to their normal duties without having any consequences. Didn't you ever wonder why I always stuck around at the beginning in spite of all the clashes and issues you had with me, but everyone else either never showed up or had to be 'replaced' after a short time? You were one of the best medics the Decepticons had and they wanted you guarded, but they had gone through all of their ranked officials who were trained for that sort of detail. When they were fresh out of rotation, they started to pull from the ones who had no say-so in the matter."

     Breakdown gave Knock Out a moment to take it in before once again staring at that spot above the door. He really needed to get up there and remove that pesky stain. How did it even get up there?

     "I guess they figured that a few joors with a partner who wouldn't talk back to you or abandon post would break you of some of your bad attitude and then they'd be able to assign you to someone at that point. I wasn't a warrior or a soldier as I told you- I was informed by the higher ups that I was to tell you that if you ever asked. I was a meager field captain to a group of Decepticons who's only duty was to go in first and clear out any traps or immediate danger. THEN the rest of the troops would move in and take the glory of a successful mission. We never got credit or mention. Most we ever walked away with was a missing member or so. THAT was my duty before I was assigned to you. Clean up. I had the reports in my file of managing to take on the Wrecker team head on without assist and walked away with minimal damage from their largest brute. That's the only reason I was picked over my other team mates. They were all capable, but I was team leader for a reason, and they snatched me from that without even a care that it would leave them in complete chaos."

     Another pause. This time Breakdown's optic narrowed at that stain, as if trying to will it away from where he lay. The hole in his face where the other was couldn't narrow, as the metal of his face plate had been peeled away to allow access to the optic beneath. Sounds of the attempt of rotating his optic came again from that hole, including a tiny spark as one of the wires in the back caught on one of the rotating pieces.

     He didn't notice it, but Knock Out surely would have.

     "I was just torn from the field with a very short notice and the next day I was in your office. Of course I was quiet. I knew why I was there. 'Keep you from being offlined' was the only order I was given. I was scrap, cannon fodder, with an assignment I was to fulfill and just shut up about it."

     An irritated grunt that came from him. It wasn't unusual for him to make such noises, usually shown as a way to express his disgust at a situation when words couldn't make up for it. This, however, was linked to a feeling on the memory, as he was doing plenty of talking.

     "Did you know the others would take bets on how long it took before I screwed up? They all thought I was just lucky because I was rebuilt as I am, that I would have offlined way long before when I was still doing scout work in my old frame. I just wanted to prove them wrong, that I was more useful than that. That's why I pushed myself so hard at the beginning to stay close to you. It wasn't because I was doing my job, it was because I just wanted us to both survive so I could rub it in their faceplates."

     This would have been a time when Breakdown would have enjoyed to feel Knock Out's touch, only not with the drill or the saw attachments, but he wouldn't ask that of the medic who was working so diligently on him. No, he just closed his dimmed his optic some and stared at the ceiling diagonally from him.

     "Honestly, if we hadn't devised our secret system that had us working so well together, they probably wouldn't have sent me to Earth with you. I was never expected to leave Cybertron. Truth of it is, I probably would have been in the well of All Sparks if it weren't for you. They probably would have sent me off to the smoldering lines where all the other scrap was sent, where everyone thought I belonged. Outside of my team, you're the only one who gave me a chance... even after you found out about my defect. You could have demanded a replacement, but you stuck with me and showed me more patience and work than anyone ever had.  So of course I 'put up with you', but I'm glad to do it, and I would never think not to. You never gave up, so nor will I. No amount of times I save your spark on the battlefield would ever make up for what you did for me back then, and continue to do for me now."

     Breakdown finally broke the moment of seriousness to laugh. It was probably poor timing or his own nerves getting the better of him with knowing what was about to happen next as Knock Out went poking and prodding around inside his chassis. Not knowing what was going to be found could have driven anyone to a point of a meltdown or a beat down, but at this point Breakdown had been so distracted by his own talking ( and that stain ) that he hadn't noticed much of what was going on. Could have been a good thing for Knock Out.

     "And I'm still a 'blumbing lugnut' when you go about rearranging things without telling me. So at least that hasn't changed, yeah?"

[Knock Out]

“Shove it up your aft? Ah yes, I did hear that a lot.” He smiled, as if he was proud of that fact. He was hard to work with, and wouldn't deny it. It was one of many things he loved about himself. It meant that only those who were the best of the best could work alongside him, as they had to have a certain something to even put up with him. Those who gave up were not cut out for the job. He didn't need sensitive little sparklings complaining about their feelings being hurt every time he did something they didn't like. Truth being told? He was glad he drove others away; he liked working alone.

Granted he'd ended up with... Someone who was overly sensitive at times, but he found that Breakdown kept him level most of the time, plus he was more than useful around the medbay and was competent unlike others he'd had work along side him throughout the war. He did still enjoy working and being alone, but had grown to like Breakdown's company, and should he ever get the urge for solitude? Earth was just a ground bridge away.

There would be a small hiss of hydraulics as the saw seemed to fold in on itself and slide back into Knock Out's arm, his servo would appear moments later and he'd flex and curl his digits.

“Thinking? Well, there's no better time to!” As long as Breakdown wasn't thinking about MECH, he was glad that he was keeping his processor active on other things.

As Breakdown began to talk once more, he would reach over to the wall behind Breakdown's helm, pulling open a panel and pulling out what looked to be an articulated crane arm, with two vertical metal bars attached to a ratcheted horizontal one which formed an almost 'H' shape. He was gentle with his movements as he wedged the edges of the vertical bars into the space he'd created with his saw. Once that was in place, he would lean up to type in some numbers on the side of the crane which made it whir and hiss as hydraulics began to come into play.

He was listening to Breakdown as he spoke, but his attention was fully on what he was doing due to the nature and delicacy of the task at hand. The crane would creak as it began to rotate clockwise, starting to force the two bars separate. The noise of straining metal was always so fascinating to him; but there was something about prying open Breakdown's chassis that felt a little odd. The edges would begin to be pried apart carefully, he took it slow as to open him up properly – and it wasn't long before the internal hinges of Breakdown's chassis gave in and the panels were peeled back in an almost 'V” shape, just like the examination table that Breakdown had smashed.

Once he was sure the panels would hold in place, he would remove the tool that kept them separated and pushed the crane upwards and out the way. He hummed, thinking, before leaning in to push the panels back further, almost like opening a book to reveal the pages inside. This was the moment he'd been waiting for. Just what had the humans done? He almost didn't dare look.

He still had a neutral expression on his face as he stared for a moment at what he saw. MECH's work was... Sloppy. Very sloppy. He could see exactly what they'd done, and where they'd worked. For having such tiny, delicate hands and tiny tools? Humans sure weren't careful about anything they'd done here. He wondered what their goal was.. Were they studying him? Or planning to dissect? They'd left wires in here, no doubt from where they'd hooked him up to whatever machines they'd used. He wanted to track them down himself, if only to teach them how to do a proper surgery!

His gaze would linger on four odd looking drill holes. They were in the shape of a square, a drill hole in each corner; two of which were connected by what looked to be some sort of line – as if done by a small saw or a laser. This in itself wasn't troubling, but.. The sickening part of it was that it was on the metal panel that surrounded and protected Breakdown's very spark.

For a moment all he could hear was static, Breakdown's voice not registering anymore. But he quickly snapped out of it; turning his attention back to his partner. They'd come so, so very close to off-lining him – and he probably had no idea. Maybe he'd thank Bulkhead one day. He owed him at least that. It explained the terrible soldiering line down Breakdown's chassis, they'd closed him up in a hurry, unable to finish what they'd tried to start. If Bulkhead had just been a few seconds later... He shuddered just slightly, trying not to think about it.

His expression would falter slightly to a hint of concern and sadness, but he would play it off as his reaction to what Breakdown had told him. Which.. Was sad in itself. He truly had no idea about any of that, and was... Surprised to hear it. He'd gently clear his throat, resting one servo on Breakdown's arm – not that he could feel it. But it was a comfort to Knock Out at least. He needed a moment to think, and found himself pausing his work to reply to Breakdown. He welcomed the short break, trying to calm himself at seeing the state of the panel that covered Breakdown's spark. He didn't want to reveal just how angry he was, so would keep his field calm, face still neutral and expressionless once more.

“You were a stand in? I never would've guessed. I know nobody could stand to work with me. I didn't exactly make it easy - which was the whole point, you know more than most that I prefer working alone sometimes.” He flashed the faintest of grins.

“I must say it did surprise me that you stuck around, especially as I seemed to treat you worse than most because you always got in my way. I took it as you just being stubborn and wanting to prove a point to someone, somewhere.”

He felt a little boost to the ego at the mention of him being one of the best, even though that was something he already knew – he still liked hearing it, and now Medics were such a rarity? He was no doubt the best. The grin would fade though, this was an intimate conversation and moment, and had no place for his ego or pride.

“I.. Had no idea that's how you were treated, or how things were.” He'd been rather privileged throughout the war to be away from that kind of thing. “I'm sorry they... Snatched you away from your team mates and forced you to work with me.” Well now he just felt like slag, and not just because of what he'd seen inside Breakdown's chassis. He really had been awful to Breakdown when they first met, and he wasn't exactly attentive and nice to him these days either. He was a lot nicer than he was, but after everything Breakdown had been through and done for him? He probably could be nicer sometimes.

“I know I haven't really said it before until now, but thank you.” He sounded genuine. His voice quiet as he forced himself to not look at the drill holes inside Breakdown, at least not yet. Having come what seemed to be only moments away from losing Breakdown stung a lot more than he was, or would ever, let on. He wouldn't get too sentimental though, as he didn't want Breakdown to start thinking the worst due to this strange shift in personality. Even during their quietest moments, Knock Out was still usually very guarded.

As Breakdown chuckled, so did Knock Out.

“Indeed. Thank Primus for our system. I don't think either of us would be here if it weren't for that. As for me putting up with your.. Ah.. 'defect'..” He didn't like that word, and he personally didn't see it as a defect or anything of the sort, he was used to it now and it was just part of who Breakdown was. “It was the least I could do. After all, you were the only one who stuck it out in putting up with me despite my efforts to drive you away. I am glad things worked out the way they did, and that you were stubborn enough to stick around.”

He glanced back to Breakdown's chassis, before pulling away from him and reaching back on the workbench to grab a small delicate tool that looked like tweezers with rubber caps on the ends, as well as a syringe of what looked to be some form of bonding agent. He couldn't keep putting things off with chit-chat, and so it was time to get back to work.

“You are still a bumbling lugnut, yes.” He smiled again, teasing him gently. “But that's part of why I adore you.” He sounded serious as he leaned over his partner, back into work mode.

The first thing he wanted to fix up was the plating that protected Breakdown's spark, the rest could come later. With expert precision he would use the syringe of bonding agent to fill the four holes that'd been drilled. The familiar sound of hydraulics could be heard as Knock Out's servo shifted into the welder. He was being overly gentle, knowing what lay just behind the metal plating of the case. While the bonding agent dried, he would carefully heat up the surface metal where the half-finished cut was made, applying more of the agent and molding it onto the warmed metal. While Breakdown's self repair would heal this over time? He didn't want to risk anything and so was helping speed things along. Breakdown would be ordered to rest for a while after all this, too. Knock Out wasn't taking any risks or chances. He couldn't lose Breakdown.

As that set, his servo would return to normal and he'd start work on the many cracked and badly patched Energon lines. There were easier ways to get samples, and yet they'd seemingly split open many of them. They were morons.

“What were they even trying to do here..?” He murmured to himself, a rhetorical question. He knew what they were trying to do, and they'd done a horrible, messy job of it. He noted Breakdown's attention seemed to be staring upwards, hoping he wasn't listening too hard to what Knock Out was saying.

He tsk'd softly, MECH had left some of their own wires attached to Breakdowns. If he could feel anything? This would hurt, so he was somewhat thankful that he couldn't. With the delicate pair of tweezers he would wriggle them alongside the humans wire to ease it away, rather than just yanking and risking a major Energon leak. With the wire pulled free, he would use more bonding agent to seal the hole. Then would rinse and repeat along every stray wire and leak that he could find. There would be tiny 'clink' noises as he deposited the wires into a small steel tray to look at later, not that he thought they were anything special.

“You still doing alright? Things are looking good here, considering. Someone needs to teach them how to operate, maybe I'll do a live demonstration on one of them sometime.” He grinned wickedly. It didn't sound like he was joking.

He glanced up to the screen next to the berth at that question, checking that Breakdown's vitals were still stable. They were. That would be a question that Breakdown would hear a lot over the coming hours; while Knock Out couldn't exactly stop in the middle of any of this, he at least wanted to keep tabs on Breakdown's mental state.

[Breakdown]

     "You know you don't have to thank me for anything, Knock Out. Not to mention it's kind of weird when you say it in the middle of something like this. Almost like you're thanking me for letting you open me up like a can." It was no joke, really. The timing of the thank you had been a little off, but Breakdown was mostly trying to lighten the situation considering what was going on. His sense of humor wasn't the best but he tried. "I would definitely like if they didn't operate on me again. Once is enough, thanks. The fact I have to be opened up twice in the same day is also something I would prefer to do without again."

     Breakdown didn't like that they had to do this almost as soon as he'd gotten back, but honestly he was happy to have it just over and done with. He didn't know what those disgusting humans had done while they were roaming around under the outer frame of his chassis but from all the wires Knock Out pulled and the fact he had used the familiar bonding agent and welder while inside? He knew better than to think it was just something minor. Breakdown wasn't stupid. Something was definitely up. He wouldn't distract him for the time being. He would let his partner work if only to feel better afterwards knowing that anything that had been damaged was fixed. Later he would inquire as to what was going on around in there... later, when his processor was much better to handle what would be thrown at him. That is, if he could trust that Knock Out wouldn't lie about it.

     "I don't even know what happened to my old team. All I can say is that they wouldn't have left Cybertron for anything. You wouldn't have found a bunch of mechs more willing to stick it out to the very end and refused to run away. We just did what we had to to survive for as long as we could. They were probably all offlined a long time ago... before you and I left for Earth, even."

     There was another pause as Breakdown mused over other things. He stared overhead at the wires and unused diagnostic cables that hung like Soundwave's little creepy tube arms, threatening to come down at him. Well, if that wasn't a thought made for nightmares? It definitely was now. Time to change the subject to something else that had him curious.

     "Knock Out?" Sure, he was working on removing those annoying little human cables that he, thankfully, couldn't feel being pulled out of him, but he still wanted to make sure the medic was still listening.

     "Why me?" Though he didn't divulge on that portion of the question, even if Knock Out would have questioned what he meant, the further bit of the question that followed would provide the answer to that. "You could have chosen anyone, chased after anyone. Why me? Not that I'm complaining or anything like that! Just..." Even after all this time Breakdown had never really asked the question as to why his partner had decided to make that move all that time ago. Not like after all this while bringing it up made it any less awkward for the mech. He shifted around some, though only briefly as not to mess up what Knock Out was doing. "I know I was around all of the time, but I had none of the things you could have possibly found... you know. Um. Yeah..."

     Again he looked around, trying to find something else to look at. His helm was turned to face away from the monitor and he skimmed the rows of supplies along the wall. Breakdown couldn't look at Knock Out right now. It was too strange to see such a serious look on his partner's face when he was buried arm deep in HIS open chest panels and with the conversation at hand happening only made everything that much more uncomfortable for him. There would be a small high pitched bleep on the monitor as his spark jumped but would return to normal right after.