Ep.1 - After Party - Open

[bumblebee]

Optimus was shaking his head when Bumblebee, incredulous, looked over his shoulder to openly stare at the obviously exasperated Prime. The volume of cat-calling and laughter had reached an all-time roar when the others noticed that Optimus was actually in the room behind them for the footage. From the looks of it, this might not have been the first time the Autobot Commander had been through this kind of Jazz-style debriefing because he was giving Jazz his most serene ‘I’m going to give you so much monitor duty’ face. The big bot was obviously amused though.

Bee was relieved. From all accounts Prime’s encounter with Ratbat may have been hilarious, but his preceding encounter with Soundwave had been anything but because that – no physical confrontation with anyone else on the Nemesis – had put Optimus in the med bay for hours in heavy digitally-induced defrag. Jazz’s video took the teeth out of the events, took the horror out of all their close calls and Bee understood this kind of thing perfectly. Laughing in the face of every near-miss.

So he very gleefully fell into a fit of giggles.

[Deleted]

Optimus didn’t quite groan. Blaster looked, despite his part in the hilarity, looked supremely pleased with himself and the resulting footage. For some reason the repeated screech of the mini-Ratbat howling ‘Silence! You dare threaten me?! over and over again had a galvanizing effect on the other Autbots who gave themselves unabashedly over to laughter. Any embarrassment over the somewhat… unusual Autobot vs Deceptcion encounter was negated effectively by the sight and sound of the team on the verge of blowing collective gaskets in laughter. Bumblebee kept saying ‘Flatbat!’ over and over and giggling uncontrollably.

Optimus just shook his head and glanced at Rhinox. “It is possible Jazz is going to get your monitor duty, friend. Everyone’s monitor duty, in fact.”

Which in no way, of course, changed the fact that he was grateful for Jazz’s continued ability to take some of the terror of of what they did.

[Deleted]

In between amused chuckles, Rhinox stepped aside to usher Optimus into the room proper. Door guards had more than one duty, after all.

"I'll use the extra spare time productively," he promised with an absolutely shameless grin. "Go and greet your adoring public, Prime, and mind the flying gummies." There was kindness in his optics despite the amused grin - he wouldn't insist if Optimus refused.

[bulkhead]

Flatbat. The video and Jazz's narrative would have been enough but then Bee kept chirping it and the scout's laughter was infectious - Bulkhead was laughing so hard he couldn't cycle a ventilation, sliding helplessly down in his chair as his plates shook, systems stuttering with hilarity. It had been bad - there was no denying how bad it had been, when Optimus had been the first in and last out of medbay - but the large mech was also standing at the doorway, not visibly any the worst for wear, and the video Jazz had put together highlighted the ridiculous while it skipped past all the horror.

"Bet the little fragger'll be wearin' the shape of your audials for awhile!" he called inbetween one of Bee's hiccuped 'flatbat!'s, which just set them both off again. "He makes a great hat!"

[Deleted]

"Hatbat!" Steeljaw suggested over the laughter. Leaning his head up he amplified his voice, switching to a smoother Terran cadence than the one he normally used. "My compliments from me to you on this your most intriguing hat - consider, though, this substitute. A bat in place of this old rat!"

"Hey!" Rattrap protested from the floor. Shadow handed Steeljaw another gummy - either to silence him or reward him, but Steeljaw didn't particularly care which as it still resulted in more sweets. ::It's going to take more than gummies to make me chase him,:: he commed her, intakes busy with chewing. ::Feline Overlord and 'mouser' go badly together. Don't worry, though - movie night won't disappoint and his section should be coming up soon.::

[Deleted]

Jazz grinned and bowed ostentatiously to his Prime. Oh, he was going to have all the boring and dirty jobs for a LONG time after this, but hey! It wasn't as if Prime didn't know how these things went. He'd known what he was authorizing when Jazz had asked for permission to record sensor feeds. Getting punished for these little show-and-tells was all part of the process.

And really, Jazz thought, taking in the laughter and thrown gummies, even the most reclusive mechs lured out to mingle and enjoy themselves...it was worth every second of monitor duty.

Jazz caught one of the tossed gummies in his mouth, chewing for a moment as the uproar ebbed and flowed. "And on the subject of...small mechs. Our next contestant, here to show that big things come in small packages, our very own...Rattrap!" Jazz made encouraging gestures for applause, then cutting gestures to stop it, a la the a daytime game show host.

He also gave Rhinox a significant "do not let your crewmate slink away without being properly humiliated" look. Especially since Jazz had edited out of the footage Rattrap doing some things that he'd been expressly told NOT to do. Humiliation was part of the punishment.

"Now! Rattrap's assignment was to raid the medical bay. A noble purpose, looking out for all of our plating and circuits, and I must say, he did an excellent job of it." Jazz queued up Rattrap's section of vid, which was by necessity from his own low point of view. Jazz had attempted to edit it to keep it on the cutting edge between confusing and properly hectic, as befit the footage. The vid started up with Rattrap's optic-view of peering out from behind his first hiding place, catching sight of the Decepticon medic as he'd loaded up a cart with supplies.

Jazz assumed the hushed, amplified voice of a documentary narrator. "Observe, the rat in his natural scavenging habitat. Suddenly, he spies a predator, Knockoutus medicus. Ah, the Knockoutus appears to be wary! ...but eventually goes on his way.... The rat considers his options. The Knockoutus is dangerous, but it is guarding a large stockpile of tempting supplies. The rat considers...and decides to go for it! Stealthily, stealthily he sneaks up on the distracted Knockoutus...and is successful! He pilfers the supply cache and all goes well until...." The video stops, dramatically, on the frames of Rattrap looking at his own servo in Knock Out's claw. "He is caught!"

Dun dun DUUUN! went the music, the vid going disorienting as Rattrap fell, transformed, and broke for the door. "He escapes the Knockoutus' clutches and attempts to flee! Only attempts, unfortunately...." The medbay doors slammed shut in front of Rattrap, and most of the room winced and "ooooh"ed sympathetically as Rattrap slammed right into it and scurried drunkenly under a cabinet.

Jazz had edited out the bit with the energon prod to the cabinet, partly because it was a little over the top for lighthearted entertainment, and partly because the prod's energy had fritzed a good deal of the footage. He'd skipped right to Rattrap scrambling out to climb up and over Knock Out's frame. "The rat, however, gets his own back! Bravely climbing Mount Knockoutus and then racing for freedom...he unfortunately falls into the Knockoutus' dastardly clutches."

Again, Jazz had edited out the footage of Rattrap tumbling to the side and being electrocuted, instead favoring a shot of bound Rattrap looking down at his own bonds. "Nonetheless, the rat's stealth serves him well, allowing him to escape...raid yet another supply cache...and saunter away, mission accomplished."

Jazz looked out at the audience, winking at Rattrap as he resumed his own voice. "And yes, before anyone asks, I did have Rhinox turn him upside down and shake him afterwards...just to make sure."

[league]

Since his last outburst, League had been keeping quiet, watching the show for the most part as he was now drunk enough to fully enjoy it, in his sober state it would have been a bit annoying. "Your left! No! Your other left you half blind slagger!" He roared out at the screen, though it was hard to say if he was rooting for Jaz, another Autobot or the Decepticon trying to beat his friends into the ground. Or maybe he was just shouting in general as he settled into his happy-drunk state. Though he seemed to be enjoying himself, booming laughter fell from the miner now and again, between long gulps of high-grade of course.

[Deleted]

"Yeah, like I'd keep medical supplies as souvenirs," Rattrap jeered as the room erupted into shouts and catcalls. "Now, maybe if KO'd had a stash a somethin' GOOD in there..."

With a move not unlike the one he'd used getting over Knock Out, he scurried up Jazz's back, balanced on the bigger mech's shoulders, and took a couple of bows before tumbling neatly back to the floor. It was the sort of move that definitely deserved another rain of gummies, and Shadow obliged, laughing as Rattrap imitated Jazz's trick of catching one in his mouth.

::Rattrap is enjoying this a little too much for my satisfaction,:: Shadow commed Steeljaw. ::If candy won't do it, what will convince my feline overlord that he should chase a rat around the base?::

[bumblebee]

It was possible Bumblebee had had too much to drink. The scout-bot was seated happily on the floor in front of the couch now, having drained a couple of cubes, swaying slightly back and forth in a giddy haze of blurred EM fields crowding all around. It was nice, all the hilarity and the talk, people laughing, his friends in good spirits – Bumblebee liked this. He liked the talk and the chatter and the buzz of everyone’s good humor around him like a radio frequency humming through his whole body, shivering through his struts to his laser-core, and sliding through the middle of him like something gone tight, then loose inside him. Like a gear was coming unstuck. It made some deeper part of him kind of ache, like an old wound acting up.

Bumblebee almost could forget he was on tape, he was so pleased just them. Just about. Almost.

[Deleted]

Unobserved by mostly everyone laughing hysterically at Rattraps, Optimus laid a hand briefly on Rhinox’s shoulder to get his attention. There was another burst of raucous laughter and the Prime leaned down for a moment to speak directly into the other mechanoid’s audial. “I think I’ll step out,” he said, a smile audible in his voice, even through the din of slightly drunken soldiers having a good time of it.

The room shivered with the compound frequency of everyone’s good spirits and that much… it was astonishing how far that could go for a commander after a dangerous op. Recalled a time when Jazz’s films were always a relief – a physical knot unwinding in his chest when Jazz determined the mission had gone well enough to warrant one of his videos. It was as though… the mission was not successful on all fronts unless Jazz could rationalize enough joy from their mission to make one of these videos. Masking the horror and focusing on the still being alive, on laughing in the face of what were, in fact, near death brushes all.

“You’ll have to tell me about the rest.”

[bulkhead]

"You SURE you shook him down for the good stuff, Rhinox?" Bulkhead called, laughing. High grade and gummies - he was going to have a tank ache, if not a processor one, but it was worth it for the warm flush through his circuits and the slightly hazy buzz through his processor threads. It made it much easier to laugh at Rattrap's daring escape, instead of wince for how close the little mech had come to probably being torn apart or fried.

One more cube of high grade, maybe - Bulkhead had a work shift later, but one more cube wouldn't hurt, was a far cry from being too much for him to function around, and slowly sipping it would keep the low grade buzz going. The worst was over - his own part already mocked - and everything else was going to be nothing but fun. Grinning, Bulkhead reached for another cube.

[Deleted]

Steeljaw pilfered another few gummies from Shadow, one disappearing into his subspace for each one he actually ate. The stickiness of them on his teeth kept him chewing but he leaned his helm against the femme's with a plate to plate comm. ::I suppose... for a contractor's fee, to be paid in hood basking rights and some polishing, I could see my way around to giving the little glitch a scare. You're right, he's entirely too self-satisfied.::

[Deleted]

Jazz had obligingly stood still to be used as Rattrap's personal winners' platform, then grinned as he nabbed another gummy out of the air. Gummy, then a bit more high grade. Aaaaah, yeah, that went down...like harsh still-made high grade should, really, but it warmed his tanks and lines, which was all he asked of it.

"All right, all right, settle down, folks. Now...everyone knows that EVERYONE did an excellent job. But we DO have a few mecha who went above and beyond in the awesomeness department during this mission, and I just happened to get great footage of it. So! Direct your attention to our winner for the "Wow, You Were Having Way Too Much Fun, Weren't You?" award, our very own...Shadowrunner!"

The vid audio switched to the Mortal Kombat soundtrack, thumping along as Shadow ran and transformed down to race through the hall.

"Sub-zero has entered the game!" sounded as Shadow nearly ran into Downforce and turned the near-wreck into a faceful of blaster. The perspective flipped and sped wildly as Shadow took off down the hall, spun about, blasted and sideswiped her opponent again, and started the whole process over again.

Jazz started dancing to the beat of the music, giving a little exaggerated cringe and a "hey, look, he thinks he's spec ops!" when Downforce popped up like an oversized mole and an appreciative fist pump when Shadow moments later slammed him into the deck plating. Then there was the tussle on said deckplating.

"Catfight!" Blaster called out. "Wait, did he just BITE?"

The 'Con had, indeed, just bitten, and the whole room got a wonderful view of Shadow's response. Jazz ostentatiously held up one-two-three fingers as Shadow punched him once, twice, three times in the faceplates before he let go.

"Finish him!" sounded over the music, then "Fatality!" as Downforce transformed and...slammed himself into Shadow's shins. The perspective even caught how she shook her head slightly and how one hand went out in a "wtf!" gesture as the 'Con limped off.

"Shadow...wins!" Jazz called out in the game announcer's deep voice, as the music thumped to a close and he turned to grin at Shadow, sending her a glyph of <i>pride/approval/shared-amusement</i> as he grinned and clapped. "Though yeah, I think that that 'Con discovered a new fatality, there."

[Deleted]

::I don't know,:: Shadow commed back to Steeljaw in her most dubious tones. ::As tempting as it would be to, say, have a full recording of Rattrap being chased through the ventilation system, you know how much I hate taking you out to bask on my hood. And polishing you,:: she vented heavily, sounding quite convincingly as if she didn't provide both services on a regular basis, ::is such a chore.::

Then Jazz started talking again, and teasing Jaws took second place to being very grateful Ironhide wasn't there, since all the time they'd spent calibrating her targeting algorithms had apparently been a waste. In spite of Jazz's upbeat narration and the careful edits, Shadow couldn't help the private litany of things she'd done wrong, opportunities she'd missed, Labyrinth's voice hissing static-laced through her processor.

She dragged Jaws into her lap without thinking, possibly in a doomed effort to hide behind the much smaller symbiont, possibly with the hope he would claw her optics out for the affront. Neither concealment nor maiming happened, however, which left her with an armful of base cat and Jazz dancing and all but radiating approval in the visible spectrum; gradually, the secondary narration of her failures faded, so that by the time Jazz declared her victory she was able to return his grin and mean it.

"Glitchwit doesn't have the hang of fatalities," she shot back, offering Steeljaw a handful of gummies by way of apology. "He's not supposed to fatally wound himself." She held up the arm Downforce had bitten, wiggling her fingers at Jazz with another grin. "Should have just stuck with his animality instead. That actually inconvenienced me for three point seven nanokliks."

[rattrap]

Rattrap had been keeping an optic on I Spy since she'd started tossing food around, which meant he saw her cringe when her footage came up. She didn't immediately relax when Jazz started playing up the positive, either; if Rattrap hadn't been hearing Jazz's commentary with his own audials, he'd have thought the femme was in the middle of receiving a lecture.

Weird reaction, unless Jazz was yelling at her via private comm, and the mech didn't seem the type. Not that Shadowrunner didn't always ping a little off, but...

Eh, nothing wrong with offerin' the femme a little distraction.

He waited until the end of her segment, when Shadow had shifted back to what passed as normal for her and was snarking with Jazz, then strutted from his spot near Jazz's pedes. "Hey, jus' 'cause you're th' star a this show, don't mean ya get ta shirk yer job." He made grabby gestures at her. "Make with the gummies, doll."

An energon gummy splattering hard between his optics hadn't precisely been his plan, but eh, whatever worked. With a jaunty salute, Rattrap wiped the goo off his faceplate and returned to his spot behind Jazz, sucking sticky energon off his fingers as he went.