Ep 1 - History Lessons (closed)
Oct 3, 2012 11:02:53 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2012 11:02:53 GMT -5
He was upsetting her again, Jazz could tell. She was turning into a little ball of tight-clamped plating against his side, and he slipped a little It's ok, you're doing the right thing and questioning/investigating is good into the reassurance in his field. He pressed his helm against hers, pulsing glyphs of pride at her.
Because Primus, did that question make him think. His first instinct had been to defend, to say, Of course it was. That wasn't our intention at all, in the beginning.
And then he stopped and thought. HAD it been? Had it ever really been under control?
Could he really say that destroying had never been his intention? Because that would be a lie.
"I can only speak for myself, back then. I just wanted change. I wanted me and my friends to be able to find stable, well-paying jobs that didn't work us into the ground. I wanted us to be able to afford a medic when we were hurt. I wanted the cohorts that wanted sparklings to be able to have them without handing over their entire savings to the priests. I wanted to...I wanted us all to have the dignity and respect that every Cybertronian deserves. And I wanted that for everyone, down to the grubbiest Rattrap out there."
He paused, thought, trying to remember. Yes, that had all been true. It had been. That was the desire that had kept him going for...longer than he should have stayed with the Decepticons, really.
"But I was angry. I'll admit that. I was angry, and I saw that what kept all these things from happening was the caste structure. We were on the bottom, and those on the top could do whatever they wanted to us because we had no power. No political power, no economic power...nothing. All we had was our frames. So we protested with our frames...and it started out peaceful. We tried for peaceful resolution. We really did. Protests, work stoppages, speeches...but that wasn't enough. It got us thrown in jail or beaten by the enforcers or fired from whatever jobs we had, or all three. And it just got worse, when we didn't back down. Protest leaders were kidnapped, held without charges, tortured, their cohorts threatened. Killed, sometimes. And it was so unfair...so unjust...it made me angry. And in the end, I'll admit, I thought that violence against the system was justified. I thought it was the only way to get what was due to us. I thought it was the only way to get the change that we all needed. It seemed justified at the time, you know? They were killing us. Slow or quick, they were killing us, and it would have taken a better mech than me to not fight back."
He ducked his head to look at Shadow directly. "Does this make sense? It's hard for me to make sense of it, and I was there. So much was just...the best choice made out of a slew of bad options. I woulda loved it if peaceful negotiation would have worked, but it really honestly looked like it wasn't. Prime'd probably disagree with me on that, but...we weren't in the same circumstances. So as I saw it, it was either give up and go home or...fight for what I wanted. I chose to fight. And for a long time, I thought it WAS under control. That we were only fighting those who meant us harm. Those who left us no choice. That we were minimizing innocent deaths. But then it all turned into us vs. them and this endless cycle of retaliation and...by then it was too late."
He touched his forehelm to hers, hoping against hope that he wasn't really fragging up her opinion of him. "I tried to be a good mech, hon, I really did. But even good intentions sometimes lead you bad places."
Because Primus, did that question make him think. His first instinct had been to defend, to say, Of course it was. That wasn't our intention at all, in the beginning.
And then he stopped and thought. HAD it been? Had it ever really been under control?
Could he really say that destroying had never been his intention? Because that would be a lie.
"I can only speak for myself, back then. I just wanted change. I wanted me and my friends to be able to find stable, well-paying jobs that didn't work us into the ground. I wanted us to be able to afford a medic when we were hurt. I wanted the cohorts that wanted sparklings to be able to have them without handing over their entire savings to the priests. I wanted to...I wanted us all to have the dignity and respect that every Cybertronian deserves. And I wanted that for everyone, down to the grubbiest Rattrap out there."
He paused, thought, trying to remember. Yes, that had all been true. It had been. That was the desire that had kept him going for...longer than he should have stayed with the Decepticons, really.
"But I was angry. I'll admit that. I was angry, and I saw that what kept all these things from happening was the caste structure. We were on the bottom, and those on the top could do whatever they wanted to us because we had no power. No political power, no economic power...nothing. All we had was our frames. So we protested with our frames...and it started out peaceful. We tried for peaceful resolution. We really did. Protests, work stoppages, speeches...but that wasn't enough. It got us thrown in jail or beaten by the enforcers or fired from whatever jobs we had, or all three. And it just got worse, when we didn't back down. Protest leaders were kidnapped, held without charges, tortured, their cohorts threatened. Killed, sometimes. And it was so unfair...so unjust...it made me angry. And in the end, I'll admit, I thought that violence against the system was justified. I thought it was the only way to get what was due to us. I thought it was the only way to get the change that we all needed. It seemed justified at the time, you know? They were killing us. Slow or quick, they were killing us, and it would have taken a better mech than me to not fight back."
He ducked his head to look at Shadow directly. "Does this make sense? It's hard for me to make sense of it, and I was there. So much was just...the best choice made out of a slew of bad options. I woulda loved it if peaceful negotiation would have worked, but it really honestly looked like it wasn't. Prime'd probably disagree with me on that, but...we weren't in the same circumstances. So as I saw it, it was either give up and go home or...fight for what I wanted. I chose to fight. And for a long time, I thought it WAS under control. That we were only fighting those who meant us harm. Those who left us no choice. That we were minimizing innocent deaths. But then it all turned into us vs. them and this endless cycle of retaliation and...by then it was too late."
He touched his forehelm to hers, hoping against hope that he wasn't really fragging up her opinion of him. "I tried to be a good mech, hon, I really did. But even good intentions sometimes lead you bad places."