Ep 1 - Yakkity Sax (Open!)

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To the surprise of absolutely no one, Red Alert said No to Miko’s plan the very moment she finished proposing it. There was no way in hell he was letting her out to run wild and potentially get shot on the off chance she MIGHT be able to run to shelter and lose the Con inside a building. Granted, there was no saying whether the ‘Con would actually fire, since they had no idea what their interest in Miko was, whether they wanted her dead or alive, whole or in pieces, but still. Red Alert did not do risks.

Particularly not with fragile alien species that could not be so easily repaired as his own in the event they were perforated by gunfire.

“Absolutely not.” He said sharply, firmly, in an authoritative tone he just KNEW would make the girl want to do the exact opposite of whatever he told her just on principle.

“You can’t outrun a bullet, Miko. Three seconds, maybe even less. That is all it would take to--” He cut himself off, his engine revving out what sounded suspiciously like a frustrated growl.

He could lecture Miko later, when they were safely back at the base, and he could afford to be distracted from his surroundings. In the moment, he needed to stay alert, on look out. He couldn’t keep his attention on the road, and the Vehicon trailing after them, while simultaneously reminding Miko of her own mortality- something which the girl seemed to forget with alarming frequency.

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Miko could actually feel herself growing angry. Sort of like the heat wave wafting over you when you opened the oven. That's exactly what she felt like. Only she wasn't in the same proximity has fresh cookies or cake. She was stuck inside of an idiot. The absurdity of the situation struck her then, full on the face, and she sat up ramrod straight in the chair. When the seatbelt slid against her neck, she shoved it out of the way with a little growl.

"I'm not an idiot! No matter what everyone thinks about me, I know I'm not Superman. But your plan is stupid. What are you going to do? Drive around all day and endanger everyone down town while you try to lose this creep? I didn't ask to be followed! I just wanted to go back and enjoy some mtv and have a bowl of cereal. Instead, I have to pee, I'm stuck with you who is rude and doesn't like me, and I don't even have Bulk to talk to." She flung her hands up before forcefully crossing them over her chest.

She was tempted to slouch in the seat against, but slouching put pressure on her bladder and she just wanted to kick the crap out of his console. Her right foot twitched with the temptation. It would be sooo satisfying to give him one good kick. Jerk.

"Terrible strategy," she muttered to herself.

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Miko may not have had an em field, but she didn’t need one in order for Red Alert to realize exactly how she was feeling. The girl gesticulated wildly and emoted openly, expressing herself without censor or restraint. She was blunt. She was honest.

She was also a goddamn child, and Red Alert was going to continue treating her like one for the foreseeable future.

Engine revving in frustration, he took a moment to count to ten and think non-angry thoughts, before finally attempting to address Miko’s concerns without yelling at her. He was mostly successful - though his volume was moderate, his tone was firm and entirely unimpressed.

“Are you done?” He asked flatly, as he steered himself left and turned them onto the freeway.

Privately, he utilized his comm system, and hailed a certain special operative for backup. If anyone could make Miko disappear off of the Con’s radar, it would be the mech who made an art out of vanishing from sight.

“Or would you like to throw another fit?”

While he spoke, he held an internal conversation with Mirage, informing the other mech of the situation. He provided a rundown of what had occurred, as well as his current coordinates, before briefing him on his plan, and the part he would play in it. Three minutes later, Mirage signed off with a polite farewell, confirming that he would meet Red Alert at the designated rendezvous point.

Now all Red Alert had to do was make it to the rest stop six blocks away without letting his tail get close enough to see him making a second trade off, and they would be in the clear.

Hopefully.

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If anything, Miko was stoic throughout Red Alert talking. Not because she respected his opinion of her or even cared what he thought. But because she was starting to realize she actually didn't like him more than most of the Cons she'd had the misfortune of meeting. At least the Decepticreeps were honest about being jerks. Red Alert pretended to be a good guy when he could clearly care less about her. She would bet money that this was an order he had to follow. When it all boiled down to it, she was an objective and that was that.

Which made her even angrier.

I'm not an object or some stupid albatross.

Unfortunately, Miko was all too aware of this unspoken law of "grown ups." She could say anything, beg, plead, and cry but there was always this "we're right, you're wrong, we don't hear you" view that the adults never lost. That's what she liked about Bulkhead. He didn't see her like that when everyone else did.

It was part of the reason she desperately clung to the idea of a exchange program. Anything to escape the claustrophobic life of living with her parents and being an only child. Yeah, she knew they loved her. And yeah, she understood why adults did what they did. Even this afthole she was stuck with. To "protect her" and "keep her safe" and really, they didn't need to lie. She knew the real reason why. It was to make themselves feel better. So her mom could say to her friends, "Look how well my daughter is doing! Look at how well behaved she is!" When in really she meant, "Look what I did! Look at how good of a mother I am!"

So she got it. But that didn't mean she needed to like it. There was just nothing she could do about changing their minds. Which meant talking to Red Alert was pointless. He didn't want to hear anything she had to say because "objectives" were supposed to be quiet.

Thoughts churning like a water mill, Miko sat up straighter and folded her hands in her lap. Whenever her mother or her father took her to task for her behavior, she tended to adopt the same stance, her eyes going vague and off center no matter where she looked. She could look at her father and nod an answer without actually looking at him.

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Miko’s silence was telling. She was undoubtedly, upset with him, angry enough to give him the silent treatment. Well. That was just fine by him. He didn’t care one way or the other whether Miko liked him so long as she didn’t disobey him when he was trying to look out for her. Whether she believed it or not, he truly was invested in her welfare; he just cared more about keeping her safe and sound than he cared about being a likeable figure in her eyes. He’d leave being her friend to Bulkhead and the rest.

Being liked by Miko was nowhere near as concerning as doing his job and keeping her safe.

Allowing the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them to settle, Red Alert drove on a ways, before signaling once more and switching lanes. There was a rest-stop up ahead, and with any luck, Mirage would be waiting there to make the second switch. Focusing his audios, Red Alert sifted through countless garbled background noises until he was able to confirm that, yes, Mirage was--in fact--in position.

Just to be absolutely sure he was actually hearing the sound of the other mech’s spark pulse, and not suffering from some oddly specific sensory ghost, he pinged Mirage and requested confirmation of his location, which he swiftly received.

Good. They wouldn’t have to wait for the spy to arrive, thus risking the chance of their vehicon stalker beating the obstacles of traffic and catching up to them. The last thing they needed was for the damn ‘Con to see them making the second switch and take after Mirage.

“Miko.” He said, his tone still firm but notably less chiding than it had been moments before. “Get ready: we’re making another switch at the rest stop up ahead. When I unlock the door, you go to Mirage. Don’t run off, don’t try to hide in one of the buildings--go straight to him. Do you understand?”

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Scowling to herself, Miko grabbed for her bookbag and ended up grabbing it by the bottom in her distracted ire. As she never bothered to zip it up, the contents of the front pocket spilled across Red Alert's floor boards in a avalanche of pens and various school detritus. The growl she let out rivaled that of a tiny, pissed off pampered poodle. Shrugging the seatbelt strap from her chest to behind her, she bent over to scoop up the runaway objects before they rolled under the chair or into places that would make transforming uncomfortable later. Though the thought of him having a number 2 jammed in a joint was oddly satisfying.

"K, whatever," she muttered. She jammed a handful of pens into the pocket and reached for errant erasers shaped like cupcakes and cheese wheels. She never used the decorative items but in a pinch, she traded them to younger students in exchange for cookies or a coke. Her mom was always sending her little care packages with excessively useless (but cute) gifts. A few of them had become lost inside Bulk before.

Her fingers strayed over an object she'd forgotten all about. With a grunt to herself, she picked it up and sat up slowly. That morning she'd found it on the entrance outside the school. Some kid had probably dropped it, or so she figured, since it had two keys looped to a decorative bobble. The keyring was secured to a small string doll with no discerning features. She supposed it was cute in a way if one went for that kinda thing. There were tiny buttons crudely stitched onto its face to suggest eyes and dark yarn hair with two colored strands to suggest highlights. She'd meant to fling it in the office for pickup but had forgotten throughout the day. Eh, she'd worry about that later.

"Just tell me when," she muttered, all moodiness leaving her voice as she turned over the keychain in her hand and studied the keys. They appeared brand new and just...kind of weird. There was something off about them but she couldn't quite say what.

Huh..the teeth look weird...

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Somehow Red Alert managed not to swear when Miko spilled the contents of her bag all over his interior.

He wanted to--Primus knew how much he wanted to--but cursing in front of the children and giving them even more inappropriate words to add to their vocabulary was something he generally discouraged in himself and others. The last thing he needed was for Bulkhead to come and ask him why Miko suddenly knew a few certain Cybertronian phrases someone her age had no business knowing.

In lieu of a curse, Red Alert opted to snap at Miko to put her seatbelt strap back where it belonged and sit properly in her seat, however he quickly cut himself off before he could say more than the girl’s name. He knew there was little point in trying to chastise her, not when she was already in a mood, and unlikely to listen to a thing he said.

He trailed off after snapping her name, a faint sigh of resignation following in the wake of that single word. There was no point in getting upset at the girl and riling her further, not now, when there were more important things to focus his attention on. He could lecture her to his spark’s content later on, when she was safe and sound back at the base.

For now, making sure she made it back to the outpost in the first place was his top priority.

He pulled slowly into the rest stop, taking care to avoid drawing attention to himself by speeding into the lot - never mind that it was mostly empty, and the few people who were outside their cars were too occupied with their own business to pay him much mind as he pulled up. Even so, he drove around to the back of the lot, the furthest he could possibly be away from the other patrons of the reststop.

It was there that Miko would be able to see a slender, sharply dressed man in a custom Armani suit, with delicate, well-sculpted features who had absolutely no business lounging casually in the front seat of a blue and white Caparo T1 like he was posing for a fashion magazine.

Red Alert wondered if he was doing that on purpose, or if the towerling was just in the habit of carrying himself as if he thought someone was going to snap an unflattering picture of him if he ever dared to not have aesthetic appeal, even in avatar form.

Not that it mattered. Red Alert doubted the mech’s choice in holo could possibly be more distracting and eye-catching than his alt.

“There he is.” He said, rolling to a slow stop a few feet away from the small blue and white vehicle. “Remember: No detours. Just go to Mirage and do as he says.”

He paused, before adding quietly, almost as an afterthought. “--We’re going to get you home, Miko.”

Then, as if to distract from these words before they could be lingered upon, his driver-side door unlocked and opened of its own accord, and Miko was free.

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She knew what it was about the keys that was bothering her! The teeth weren't irregular at all! They were even with each other with no random pattern. Both keys were the same and had the same, even chop to the key pattern. They looked like keys but they'd be really useless on a lock.

"Yeah, thanks dude..." Miko nodded and grabbed her bag, sliding it over one shoulder. The brunt of her attention was still on the keys and she forgot that she was supposed to be mad at Red Alert. She had one leg out of him and a foot on the ground when she remembered. "...waitaminute, I'm supposed to be mad at you. Um.." She stuck her tongue out at him and fled before he could say something.

She ran for Mirage's alt at a ground eating pace but slowed down when she got a good look at his holo. Seriously? "Dude, you don't go for subtle, do you?" She shook her head, actually amused and pocketed the weirdo keys into her shorts. Honestly, she wasn't sure what to think about Mirage. She'd never actually talked to him that much.

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Completely undeterred by Miko’s comment, Mirage’s holo simply offered her an amused smile, taking absolutely no offense to her words. Partly because they were true, and partly because his ego was not so fragile as to be damaged by such a harmless comment.

Inclining his head slightly to the side, the man bobbed his shoulder, shrugging off her words with ease.

“I can, when the mood so strikes me.” He replied, before nodding toward the seat behind his own, gesturing Miko towards it.

“Now, Ms. Nakadai, if you would, please take a seat so we may be on our way. And do put on the helmet - for the sake of your own safety, and Red Alert’s piece of mind.”

That comment earned him a quiet, displeased rumble from the engine of the Lamborghini still idling nearby, waiting for Miko to be safely buckled in before going its separate way. In response, Mirage’s holo simply smiled a bit wider, amusement flickering in his field. He cut his eyes to Miko, sharing with her a knowing look.

Raising his hand, he flicked his wrist, and between his fingers appeared what looked like a small white business card. He raised the square out towards Miko, holding it in front of her so that he could speak with her without Red Alert overhearing. If only the girl had a comm, it would have made talking around the fretful mech so much easier.

Once Miko laid eyes upon it, she would discover that on the card, in an elegant, handwritten script, were the words: ”He worries.”

Mirage knew full well that those words were a massive understatement, however, he wasn't about to embarrass Red Alert by going into full, elaborate detail about how very fretful he had sounded when he first commed him for assistance, or how he had asked him to repeat his plan back to him twice just to make sure he truly remembered it.

The Security Director's worry over the situation was arguably a bit...excessive, Mirage wouldn't deny that, but he realized that his worry stemmed from a place of concern, so he couldn't, in good conscience, hold it against him.

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Personally, Miko didn't think Mirage could do subtle if he wanted to. He was too...flashy? Was flashy the right word? It was as close as she could think for him. Unlike the others, he was weirdly out of place in that he looked just so different. Maybe it was the way he held himself or maybe it was his looks that did it. But there was something completely opposite from say, him and Bulkhead. Like they were almost different species. Weiiird.

"You don't really have a helmet, do you?" Miko mumbled to the holoform. She looked down at the card, frowning over the words. Yeah, he did...and she couldn't help feeling a whole heaping side dish of guilty even if none of this was her fault. "Yeah, I kind of make it worse, I think." She shrugged, not sure how to process this weird, uncomfortable feeling.

"Also, if I don't get to go to the bathroom, my kidneys are literally going to implode." A slight exaggeration but her bladder was hitting critical mass.

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If he was at all phased by Miko’s…creative discription of her dire need to use the restroom, he did not show it outwardly beyond a slight raise of his Holo’s (painstakingly shaped) eyebrows.

Inwardly, however, he was rather displeased by the reminder that organic creatures had the most disgusting bodily functions imaginable. It was a wonder that he somehow managed not to wrinkle his nose in distaste just at the very thought of what humans and other such creatures had to do in order to maintain homeostasis.

“The helmet is quite real, actually.” He replied, carefully withdrawing the card back into his sleeve before blinking it out of existence.

He leaned slightly to the side, looking past Miko to get a look at Red Alert. It seemed the mech wanted to stay and wait until Miko was safely belted in, but knew lingering in place would only give their tail time to find them once more. It was with some reluctance that the red and white vehicle finally pulled back into reverse, before making an expertly measured three-point turn, and making its way out of the lot.

Mirage watched the other mech leave, waiting until he made his way back onto the highway before turning back to Miko. He favored her with a faint smile, eyes rolling a bit as if he were simultaneously inconvenience yet amused by the security director’s fretting.

“Luckily for you, there should be a restroom somewhere in the building to our right.” He nodded towards the building in question, then lifted a hand to brush back a lock of hair the gesture misplaced.

He was actually rather proud of that, being able to actually make the hair seem real. Not many other mecha could make the same claim.

“Do hurry, though. We wouldn’t want our dear friend to be worried by our delay, would we?” He asked mildly, hoping Miko understood underlying the message in his words.

He honestly would not put it past Red Alert to turn around and head back to the rest stop to chide them both for not immediately taking to the road.

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"Awwwwwwww, laaaame," Miko lamented as she watched Red Alert finally leave them to their own doings. It wasn't that she was opposed to helmets. They were useful, she supposed, and she even had her own custom hard hat somewhere. Her father had even bought her a fierce looking skull helmet for when she rode on the motorcycle with her cousin. She'd loved that helmet and kind of missed not having it here. But someone else's safety gear? Uncool.

As for Mirage's disgust at her human deficiencies, she wasn't all that bothered. Just because he didn't show the ick he felt inside, didn't mean she didn't know it was there. Mostly because Bulkhead had been very openly grossed out and had backpedaled profusely to her when he'd made that faux pa. It was kind of a given that the humans were kind of...while not looked down upon by the Autobots, they were definitely looked at aslant in some regards. Miko just looked at this like anything else about her she couldn't control: she didn't care. She hadn't been taught to feel shame about herself for simply being a biological being so she didn't feel shame, period.

The minute Mirage gave her the say so, she was off like a shot toward the building without another look or even pausing long enough to listen to the rest of his words. Thank the gods! If she'd waited another moment, bad things would have happened.

After she'd done her business and washed her hands, Miko returned to the waiting guardian feeling much less distracted and more like herself. She even thought she had this key thing figured out but it needed more field testing. If she had her haunches correct, the Con would still be on their butts...

"Come on, let's go! Don't want to leave em waiting!"

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As Miko shot off like a rocket, Mirage busied himself with keeping an eye out for their unwanted and not-so-secret admirer. He could see neither hide nor hair of the little purple menace, but Mirage knew all too well that not seeing someone did not mean they were not there. He would have liked to think that Red Alert had manage to lose the ‘Con long enough to buy them enough time to make their getaway, but somehow he doubted such a persistent vehicon could be so easily deterred.

Thankfully, Miko returned before the Con in question had the opportunity to make his grand reappearance. Smiling a well-practiced smile, Mirage waved, then gestured for the girl to take a seat, his holo turning to put his hands on the steering wheel even though, as a self-driving vehicle, the gesture was entirely for show.

“Do use the helmet, please. I doubt Red Alert would be happy with either of us if he found out you didn’t.”

With that said, the spy waited just long enough for Miko to buckle up and secure her helmet before glancing around, ensuring there was no one around to see what he was about to do. Thankfully, parked behind the main building as they were, there weren't any people (or god forbid security cameras) around who were at risk of seeing something they weren't meant to.

Once sure they were in the clear, Mirage glanced over his shoulder at Miko to address her face to holographic face. "Now, Ms. Nakadai, I feel it only fair to warn you that there is a high chance you will be temporarily blinded during this trip. I would like to apologize for that in advance - unfortunately for the both of us, invisibility is a two way street."

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Miko, for her part, kept all of her grumbling internal for the helmet. Yeah, it was for her own good. Yeah, it was stupid not to wear one. He was only looking out for her. Uughgh, gughgh ugh bleh. Unfortunately, the helmet was slightly too big for her and wanted to slip over her eyes. So she was to be blinded twice on this trip! How dastardly.

"Wait a minute..." Miko paused in the process of adjusting the helmet over her head and stared at the car with renewed interest. "Are you telling me you can go invisible and you're just now telling me this?!" The things she could have done with that knowledge! This was too cool! Why didn't all the mechs do that?!

"Can you do it now while I'm looking?! I wanta see what it looks like!" She backed away from the car, thoughts of the Con vacant from her mind for the moment. There were much cooler things afoot!

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Mirage was entirely too used to reactions such as Miko’s. Regardless of species, or organic or bio-mechanical makeup, people heard the word “invisibility” and their interests were almost always piqued. Mirage supposed he couldn’t blame them for their curiosity - it was, after all, a rather uncommon ability, one found more often in the realm of fantasy and fiction than in every-day life. Even to other Cybertronians, his talent for twisting images to his liking was something of an oddity - though there were no shortage of mecha capable of producing holograms and other detailed illusions with their avatar-projectors, few had the ability to bend photons in such a way as to make objects (and people) seemingly blink out of existence.

Such was the benefit of his electro-disruptor being an inborn trait. It was difficult for mecha to match something which had never been mass produced, and as far as Mirage knew, he held the monopoly on total invisibility.

Hence why he did not blame Miko for her response. (It was far from every day one met a mech who made playthings of photons, after all.)

Even so, understanding Miko’s interest and indulging it were two entirely separate things, and Mirage could not, in good conscience, follow through with the latter until Miko was no longer in danger.

“It looks quite a bit like nothing, as you might imagine.” He replied, unnecessarily stating the obvious. “However if you would like a demonstration, I would be happy to oblige--”

He paused, gesturing to the seat behind his holo. “--Once we have returned to the outpost.”

His tone did not leave much room for argument.