1.5-Terrible Life Choices(And Other Las Vegas Attractions)-F

[Deleted]

Set during Week 1, Day 4!

––––

Omega Base, Nevada:


Wash sat alone in his quarters and contemplated his stash.

It was dwindling. That was worrying.

He sat at his desk and moodily rifled through the sealed container that lay open in front of him. The vials within it clinked together, both full ones and empty ones alike. He saved every used vial. Once he had come up with the desperate idea that perhaps he could bake a fresh supply from the Autobots’ sparse energon depot in order to refill them. If he was careful no one would notice the fractional theft.

But the idea was insane. Impossible. Here on Earth he lacked over half of the chemicals needed to produce a proper speeder. And you could only process so much from energon. No, what he had left in this case was going to have to last.

It was going to have to last a long time.

Wash resisted the urge to rub his hands down his face. Because it got worse than that. Recharging a full night on Ratchet’s strict orders was only staving off the worst of the energy drain. And when he was awake he was working. All the time. Against the Decepticons, against MECH. Against...

He hesitated.

No. Best not to think about that right now.

With the side of his head resting against his fist, Wash idly fished a vial out of the case. Unlike the others this one was not filled with a venomously pink liquid. Suspended within it was a tiny crumb of blue light. It shed a gentle radiance that lit the darkened room.

Wash held it up to his optics and studied it with a mix of amusement and regret.

Of all of the poor choices he had made over his lifetime, he really hoped that this would not be the one to bite him in the end. That would be a terribly embarrassing autopsy, to say the least.

An internal alarm chimed. Wash set the little vial back into the case, which was sealed shut and carefully returned to its hiding place beneath the floor under his berth.

Right, he thought as he marched out of his quarters and into the corridor. Time to stop moping. It was time to get back to work. And damn it, he was going to have a little fun in the process even if it killed him.

----

It was a little after noon when Bluestreak's internal comm chimed.

"Eyo, Blue!" Wash's cheery voice rang over the line. "You out and about? I'm sitting here behind a roadside billboard for 'Alien Fresh Jerky' just south of Vegas on Route 15. The weather is beautiful and sunny, I'm just about to head into the city to do a patrol lap, and I've been feeling kind of lonely. Interested in taking a drive, by any chance?"

[Bluestreak]

There wasn't even a pause after Wash finished speaking.

Bluestreak launched right into the conversation, as he always did.

"Wash!" he crowed, with obvious delight.

"Oh, I'm out and about, just was driving. Nothing else to do so I keep taking in the sights, seeing the sees, just got passed by a human here. Nice car, where was that when I was picking an alt mode; not that this one's not nice. Anyway, I think it's a lady, it's kinda hard to tell - oh, yeah, it's a lady, she's just got a pretty awful haircut. Not that I'm anyone to judge on awful haircuts but this one's -- what the heck do you call that? Sticky-up something, I guess. Who knows, but-"

"Whoa! Hey, she just about hit me, Wash! "

Bluestreak's avatar gaped for a second, echoing the sharp bright flicker of the car's headlights. There was the sound of squealing brakes as he attempted to stop hard on the hot asphalt; there was a bit of rubber that was left behind. Bluestreak winced to himself; oh boy, last thing he needed was someone complaining that he was too hard on his tires and couldn't he be more careful.

"Ahgh, she's texting on her cell phone," he continued. "Isn't that illegal? I'm sure that's illegal. I think I read something about it being illegal, and let me tell you, boy I'm glad we're the only two drivers on this road because she just is scaring me to death yakity yakking and I'm the giant talky robot here. One sec, one sec, let me reroute. There. Better. Whew."

The silver car smoothly turned into a residential area. It passed the high stone walls of the gated community. As always, Bluestreak was taking it all in; the kids playing in the front yard under a shade tent, a chubby man walking a panting dog, the other cars parked in the driveway. Some guy was out in front of a house painting the grass green. With a sprayer. He did a double take at that - hmm, nice shade of green. Pretty accent color.

"So where was I?" he rambled even as he flicked on his blinker. "Oh yeah, out and about out and about. No kidding, it's gorgeous out. Super nice, this place just turns into flash flood central when it rains. Came right up past the tires when I got stuck out on- hey, Route 15? Really? You're not far from me, I can just pick up 146 and zoom out your way, not a problem."

"Love to go with you, I'd love the company. I haven't seen too much of the city yet but I'm game to go!" Bluestreak laughed as he picked his way through the back streets. "Okay, got it, 'Alien Fresh Jerky' billboard. Be there as soon as I can!"

A pause. "Wash? What the heck is 'Alien Fresh Jerky' anyway?"

[Deleted]

"You know what? To be honest with you, I have no idea," admitted Wash. "Hang on. Let me go investigate. I'm kinda curious now."

Behind a rusty billboard on a long stretch of Route 15 heading northbound into Las Vegas, a car door opened.

A man stepped out of the electric blue Mitsubishi Lancer parked on the hardpacked dirt behind the sign. Despite the bold flashiness of the vehicle he was a plain man, tall and thin and dressed in an untucked white work shirt and Bermuda shorts with leather sandals. Though he was not yet out of his thirties he had prematurely grey hair, nearly white. His tired face was lined and gaunt, but kind. Standing next to the sporty car made him look like the victim of one hell of a midlife crisis.

He stepped around the sagebrush and walked all the way to the front of the sign, which he looked up at. Planted his fists on his hips.

"I'm looking at it and... I'm really not seeing what it's actually advertising," he said. "There's a little green alien in a cowboy hat riding a horse. He appears to be herding cattle. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this sign is hocking beef jerky, presumably of a quality that could be considered 'out of this world."

Wash laughed. "Anyway, that's great! I'll wait for you here by the sign. I've got my avatar standing next to it. I'll flag you down and we'll hit the city, introduce you to the sights. Assuming I don't get picked up by crazies first."

[Bluestreak]

"Still don't get what green aliens have to do with er, meat products, but I think that's a thing best left to those who understand human culture a whole lot better than I do," Bluestreak laughed as he took a hard left onto Front Street and threaded his way around a couple of workers that were setting in cable. One held out his hand and stopped the silver car as he pulled up an orange traffic cone.

Bluestreak waited, his front tires shifting back and forth slightly on the road. His avatar simply flashed a good natured, easy going smile to the man, followed by a nod. No worries, he'd get there when he got there, they had their job to do. He simply rested his arm out the window and drummed his fingers along the inside of the frame to the music on the radio.

He admitted it. He was having a tiny smidge of a love affair with human country music. Mostly because it was just something you could put on in the background and feel like you were settled in a quiet place- with your drink between your hands. Not necessarily with someone, but you weren't alone, with that constant soft hum of voices.

Bluestreak's avatar settled back in the Datsun's seat. It was odd, how this- this had uh, some weight to it. If he wanted it to. It felt better that way, less jarring. Also it helped him remember he had it on and it wasn't frozen in a smiling grimace that creeped out the lady waiting next to you at the stop sign.

Sorry lady... He was still apologizing for that, she'd peeled away like he was going to leap out of the car and eat her. Not exactly the sort of impression you wanted to give off. Not to mention if it got back to Fowler, ugh, he'd never live it down.

Ten minutes later the silver car had pulled up easily to the spot where Wash was waiting. The Datsun smoothly came to a stop nearby Wash. A few seconds later, the driver's door popped open and the younger mech's avatar scrambled out. Spiky-haired, clean cut, the much younger human was wearing a faded green t-shirt that accentuated his wide shoulders, tapering down to his well-tailored jeans. Complete with a set of cowboy boots. Why not. Ones that had never even thought about seeing a stirrup. This was probably for the best.

He waved at Wash and then rocked back on his heels, pointing at the sign above them. "Wow, that really is the weirdest combination of ad I've seen in a while. Well, I take that back, remember that high-grade they used to mix back home? I dunno what it was - never drank it, stuff could peel your paint on the outside from the inside - but it had this holographic label with a rotorat on it strapped onto a rocket."

"You'd lift the bottle and that rat would wink at you. Whoo boy. So hey, you're still here, not picked up by crazies - well maybe me, but I'm mostly harmless. So, where we headed, Wash?"

He grinned and looked around them with bright-eyed enthusiasm. The Datsun practically bounced up and down in place. "I mean, yeah the city but-- are we allowed? Will Fowler have words later with us? Because I am uh, really trying to avoid those kinds of words."

[Deleted]

Next to Bluestreak's youthful avatar, the pale-haired man beneath the sign looked frail, almost sickly. But he still grinned when he saw the young man in the cowboy boots step out of the car.

"Yeah, don't worry!" he said. "I've been cleared for city operations, by Agent Fowler himself. There was a test. Seriously. A million year old space robot had to sit down and write a one hundred question test to see if he was fit to operate within a densely populated human settlement. The road law section was the easiest part. Thank god it was multiple choice, at least."

Wash laughed. Behind him the blue Mitsubishi flashed its high-beams playfully.

He slid his hands from the pockets of his shorts and pointed north with his thumb. "Anyway, you're with me! So that grants you clearance as well. Don't worry, we're just doing a broad loop of the city, nothing too difficult. The traffic gets a bit hectic in areas, but we'll take it slow and keep our avatars running. Ready to get underway? I'll take point. Just be sure to keep your GPS going in the background in case we get separated by traffic and need to meet up somewhere, and we're set!"

[Bluestreak]

Bluestreak flashed a smile back. He brought up his hand and ran it through his avatar's short blonde hair. Then he settled back and eyed Wash's thumb pointing off across the streets, shading his eyes with the flat of his palm. The car next to him shifted in the dirt and turned slightly towards where Wash was indicating.

"A test?" he echoed as he shifted the avatar to return to where his driver's door sat open. "Oh. Like - a driver's test? For- driving yourself?"

There was an incredulous laugh, and he leaned on the top of the Datsun, arms crossed.

"You know, in a roundabout way that's kind of hilarious. I mean, what if you'd failed the questions, would you have had to walk everywhere until he gave the okay? Or be towed along by someone who did have the okay? Or worse, was he going to send someone like Miko to drive you, because man, that would totally be just cruising for a reason to get pulled over or uh end up upside down in one of these drainage ditches. Did I tell you I saw someone go off into one of those? I have no idea what that was all about."

Bluestreak shook his head. "All I could think of was wow, that's gotta be murder on your undercarriage. Those rocks aren't friendly, but I guess they have to keep the place from washing away during the bad rains, whooch. Okay got it. I'm with you, so I'm just fine, clearance granted. Take it slow, broad loop, nothing major, watch for traffic, keep avatars running, GPS in the background in case I manage to get distracted and lose you, which is really possible because wow, going to the city, totally want to see this place. At night it looks awesome. It has a lot of lights and reminds me of--"

The avatar caught itself, and then looked a bit sheepish. "Places," was all Bluestreak said, and then he grinned again and slid into the driver's seat of the Datsun, letting the door close shut behind him. He forgot to make the motion to do so, but at least it only appeared that the car itself had a fancy electronic door-shutting system on top of all the other sleek features it displayed.

"Ready when you are," he called to Wash over the comm and waited for the other vehicle to pull onto the roadway to lead the way.

[Deleted]

Wash climbed sedately into the blue car. He was smiling as he pulled the seatbelt across his chest. He liked the young gunner - Bluestreak was a friendly soul, if difficult to keep up with. During those times he found it best to just smile and nod, let the good-natured chatter flow over him, and pick up conversational threads when he could.

He started his engine with a roar and turned on his signal lights. After waiting for a large gap in the traffic on the highway - which was very light - he pulled out from behind the sign, bumped over the soft shoulder, and felt his wheels hit the pavement.

"Actually, the test was even worse than that," he chuckled. He turned down his radio as he drove, letting Wayne Newton's mournful crooning fade into the background. "Not just how to drive but... well, even just little things. Different currencies. How to work an ATM machine. How not to call an ATM machine an ATM machine, because that's redundant. How subways operate. Parking regulations. The state political climate. Emergency response numbers. How not to walk real goofy in flip-flops. Okay, maybe that last one was a lie. But just - I dunno. How to function as a human in a very large city, particularly if you have a duty to perform that is, ah, less than human in origin."

He laughed. "On the plus side, at least in Vegas if you do something strange you're not likely to be called out on it. I've found that a common thread in all major urban centres thus far."

On the road it was sunny and hot. The two cars whirred down the highway, while in the distance the hills and sharper mountains blurred in the heat. Already civilization approached in the form of street signs and suburban housing, the green lawns unnaturally bright against the tan desert sand.

[Bluestreak]

"Ohhhh," Bluestreak mused as he followed Wash out onto the road. The silver mech settled himself right behind the car in front of him, happy to let Wash take the point. He knew where they were going, and Bluestreak didn't at the moment. He'd had some time to explore bits and parts of the place, but he'd been careful as to keep out of the city proper until he'd figured out traffic signals. Red light means stop, green light means go, yellow light in Nevada means go really fast and hope to goodness that you could avoid being hit by a taxi driver, because those guys were downright crazy. They made Cybertonian racers look sane and those guys were seriously hopped up on speed.

"I guess I didn't think about that," he offered seriously as he kept pace evenly with Wash. "All the things you need to know to blend in can't be easy." He didn't crowd him, he left space between their cars. The road thrummed under his tires. Bluestreak actually liked the roads here, in that they were well cared for and easy to drive on, and flat, flat flat. You could see everything around you, and it was wide open and wonderful. He admitted he would volunteer for every single patrol they sent him on, just to get out of the base. Not that the base was bad, it was simply- well, a little tight. He'd leave it at that in his thoughts.

"Yah. It looks simple when you watch TV but now that I think about it, I don't even know what the heck currency they use and how much things are worth and what the political climate is. Or uh, why anyone can walk really not goofy in flip flops, haha, I think I know what those are at least, the humans wear them in the sand to surfing competitions."

"Surfing's pretty amazing," he laughed. "Especially when the surf's way up, I don't know how they stick that but someday I'll figure it out, but -- oh, yeah, I guess so, I guess it's the same way wherever you are. The more mechs- well, beings around you, the less likely you are to be noticed for doing something slightly out of the norm. Well, unless it's super obvious, then we're in deep, so I'm just going to follow your lead to be safe, promise."

He glanced around them and let his avatar's arm hang lazily out the window. It was so hot out that even driving the air didn't feel any different. "I like their roads though, at least here. The humans don't even follow the speed limits. I had some human pass me at at way over, way way over that limit. I think he was waving hello as he passed me, too! Seemed like a nice guy."

"So are we going somewhere in particular? Or just a general keep an eye out sort of patrol?"

[Deleted]

As someone who routinely drove ten to twenty miles over the limit at best, Wash prudently kept silent. He was fairly certain the man had not been waving at Bluestreak. Not with all five fingers, anyway.

“There are a few places in particular we’ll hit up, but mostly we’ll just buzz through a basic circuit, just to see the sights,” he said. “It’s a nice day, and no suspicious activity has cropped up in the city for us to keep an eye on. I’ve been staked out here a lot lately – with avatars – so this is mostly just a scenic drive.”

Wash smiled. He knew he was not a strong mech, but crippled in spark. Not like the others. But what he lacked in strength he made up for in skill – and in his superior holomatter generator. He made a better human than a robot at times.

“Anyway, we’ll continue on this route past McCarran International, then hook a right onto Tropicana Avenue and take it from there,” he said. “Should be in the city for an hour or two! Have you had a chance to get into any of the human towns in the area yourself? Have any of the kids taken you out to see Jasper yet?”

[Bluestreak]

"Oh wow, sightseeing?" Bluestreak echoed. "I like that idea, I'd love to well, see more of the place. Nah, the kids didn't take me out to Jasper, everyone was busy. I went on my own a little bit on my time off, just kind of getting the layout and how the streets work."

A laugh. "I guess that's a throwback to those days when I was a delivery mech," he admitted. The Datsun dipped the silver slope of his hood in a slightly embarrassed gesture. His side mirrors twisted and flattened back and then perked forward once again.

"I like to actually drive the places I go. Sure, holo-maps are okay, but it honestly makes things easier when someone hands you something and says hurry up, it's got to be there yesterday. But yeah... I've patrolled a couple of times with some of the others but everyone tends to be in a go here do this loop do this loop again gee I've seen the same loop for fifty times and yep it's still a loop sort of mood around here lately."

"Not sure why," he mused, figuring Wash would understand this better than most. "I mean, you'd think they'd want to know the layout a little better in case you need to use it.

"So, hey, sounds like a great plan," the sharpshooter offered. Plus he'd get to see the city and if he was with Wash, he had every excuse to be out a little longer on the road before returning to base. A pebble spun out from under his tire and skittered across the hot roadway. He settled comfortably into Wash's drag, conserving a bit of fuel as they traveled.

"So, hey, um, Wash? What have you been staked out here for, am I allowed to ask or is it some hush hush Fowler or Spookytown thing that us average everyday guy-with-a-gun guys aren't supposed to ask questions about?"

"It's fine if it is, no worries," he said good-naturedly and his avatar gave a handflap. The braided leather bracelets on his wrist slid back and forth.

[Deleted]

"Me?" said Wash. "Well, I suppose it's no big secret. I've been assisting our friend Agent Fowler a fair bit. With all of the problems we've had with MECH recently I've been mostly occupied with trying to discover any activities or fronts of theirs that aren't explicitly paramilitary in nature. Bit of a tall order, they're well hidden and organized, but it keeps me outdoors a lot so I don't mind."

The blue car weaved neatly into the leftmost lane to pass a minivan driving in the middle. They were approaching a large cloverleaf where Route 15 met the 215, a great loop of pavement in the middle of sandy desert and construction. As they whirred along the overpass a massive plaza was visible to the east - Town Square, riddled with shops and palm trees and movie theatres. Cars packed the dark asphalt parking lots.

Wash fiddled with his radio and dialed in new station. Soft rock. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. He relaxed, the air conditioning ruffling the hair of his avatar.

"Anyway, we're focused on Vegas right now. Agent Fowler was worried they might be in the area. I keep my hand in a couple of other valuable investments in the city as well, just in case we need some outside assets."

He laughed. "Hey, now that I think of it - have you ever met Agent Fowler? He's an interesting man. You might not want to let on that you used to be a courier. He might put you to work in the city as well - and not necessarily one on the west coast."

[Bluestreak]

"I met him when I first came in," Bluestreak offered with a slight wince in his voice.

"He seemed a... how do I put this nicely, because I don't want it getting back the wrong way in case I say it the wrong way which is pretty much something that happens a lot to me. I met him though, and he got right to the point and said don't screw up anything don't touch anything and don't make a mess I have to clean up and I accepted that I sure better not right then and there. Reminded me of my old commander, haha, no nonsense. I don't want to make things worse for anyone down here, it's tough enough."

"Really?" the younger mech queried, perking up slightly for some reason. "Aw, honestly, Wash, I'm really not a courier any more. I mean, I guess I can get stuff to where it needed to go pretty quick if someone needed me to help out that way. I wouldn't mind if that's where I was needed, be different, wow. Usually it's all just someone needs me to shoot this or that."

He sighed, and there was a tiny bit of something wistful in it. "Funny when a hobby becomes your job and your paying job becomes - well, kinda obsolete, isn't it?"

The silver car too eased around the minvan, sticking close to Wash. "Ugh, MECH. Well, if anyone can figure it out, it's you, Wash. I guess it's got to be hard, I mean, they all look... um, kind of the same to me when they're in groups."

Bluestreak eyed the roadway around them and then stopped speaking as the overpass lifted them. He could feel it in his tires, how the very tone of the road changed without the ground underneath it to muffle the sound. He started to speed up and nearly was on Wash's bumper before he realized what he was doing. Immediately he threw on the brakes, his side-mirrors flattening and the avatar squinching uncomfortably in the seat. The mech hesitated and dropped back a few lengths, but... the ground was close. If he had to he could transform and leap and hit dirt safely and there was all the open space around them to get clear.

"Sorry, sorry," he chattered and attempted to refocus himself. "Right, Vegas. Was he? That doesn't sound good, but keeping your hand on things does. Seems like if they could hide, this place is big enough for a whole lot of hiding and there's so many vehicles and people and- wow, those buildings, this place just sprawls doesn't it, compared to everything else here?"

His avatar rubbernecked as much as his vehicle did. He realized he was sort of drifting over the white line on the edge, whoops. His tires reminded him of that a moment later, hitting the grooves that warned tired travelers that they were about to go off the roadway and possibly smack into a concrete barrier. It juttered his hood and the Datsun quickly counter-steered back into the proper place in the roadway.

"So what if they're in the area and they spot us, Wash? We can't engage them. What's the counterpoint to that, just try to lose them or something?"

[Deleted]

If Wash had noticed the near bump when Bluestreak sped up as they crossed the overpass, he kindly said nothing about it.

"Well, if they spot us, my guess is they'll try to tail us," he said. His voice grew wry; he could still clearly recall the time that MECH followed him across nearly half a dozen different states. "If we can draw them to an isolated place, we can engage them properly. Otherwise, yeah, if there are human eyewitnesses nearby, we just try to shake them as best we can."

He laughed. "That said, Rook once took out three or four so MECH pursuit vehicles once. He was clever about it too, didn't make it look like anything other than unfortunate traffic accidents. That was very enjoyable to watch, let me tell you. Luckily for us the definition of 'shake them' is fairly open to interpretation when it comes to MECH."

The Bali Hai golf course whirred past them to the right, the long greens clipped and neatly groomed. White sand traps stood out brightly against the grass. Further in the distance was McCarran International Airport, a hotspot of baking pavement. A big Airbus was on short final as the two Autobots raced past, its broad wings casting a wide shadow on the runway before its wheels chirped down with a puff of smoke.

"Oh, here's an off ramp!" said Wash suddenly. The blue car veered into the right lane, it's signal lights flashing frantically. "Sorry, humans! Sorry, excuse me - follow me, Blue! We'll take this onto Frank Sinatra Drive and buzz past Mandalay Bay. Then it's just a hop to Tropicana Avenue. We'll know it when we see it - the Excalibur Hotel and Casino is near the corner of Frank and Tropicana and it's, uh, pretty distinct looking. You want to talk about sprawl, just wait until we hit Tropicana. It goes past a lot of casinos. And some wild looking restaurants."

[Bluestreak]

"Got it," Bluestreak answered quickly. He did. No engaging in front of anyone who could see them. If it came down to it, lure and lead. He'd done that before a lot back home; sometimes all you needed was speed and the ability to get in and out of places quickly. The gunner made a note to himself; traffic may have been bad down here but in some respects, that was great.

"Hahah, Rook?" he echoed. "Yeah, but that's Rook. I swear, he does that sort of stuff blindfolded while wrapped in chains upside down in a sharkticon tank or something.

"Well, good, as long as it's a loose definition I'm totally okay, I figured that was the case down here."

Bluestreak eyed the golf course. It was the largest amount of flat green he'd seen the entire trip. One thing about this area, it came in drab yellows, greys, reds, but green was few and far between. The palm trees, sure, and even some of the tiny squares of perfectly manicured grass, but... that was smooth and rolling. Hmm, wonder what it would be like to drive on...?

Lots of trouble. That's what it would be. So much trouble -

"Oh, wait, whoa, wait up there, Wash! " He darted foward to keep up with Wash and flicked on his blinker as well. The person behind them laid on the horn; Bluestreak offered up an apologetic honk back and waved out the window.

The man waved back. Huh, humans were really pretty understanding, that was nice, whew.

"Right, got it following right behind you and -- whoa that building, do you see that one? It's just amazing, it's all gold and bright in the sunshine - sorry, got distracted a bit here- right, sprawl? I can hardly wait to see it up close. Excalibur, huh? Now I'm totally curious if you say it's distinct looking, because I've -- okay, I really like that gold building. Ha, I bet Mirage is just looking for a way to live on the top floor of that one, can't you see that?"

Bluestreak stayed close to the older mech, but the Datsun's tires were humming back and forth in the lane. His avatar was staring around them though, awed. He'd - he'd not seen this much activity in a long time. The colors. The cars. Traffic, all makes of vehicles dodging back and forth in the wide lanes. Daily business, everyday travel. A thriving city.

When was the last time he'd seen a city like this?

It dawned on him that it had been an awfully long time.

"Thanks for letting me tag along," he said suddenly to Wash. His voice was incredibly grateful. "Totally appreciate it, you know?"

[Deleted]

Wash, it seemed, had a bit of a wild hare up his aft when it came to driving; the blue car weaved through the light traffic on the ramp as they sped off the highway. He was fast and light on his tires, settling into one lane only when he had left the slower vehicles behind him.

"Oh, well, you're welcome, Blue," he said cheerfully. "It's always nice having company from time to time, and I thought you might like to get away to see some different sights than deserts and cacti. Not that there's anything wrong with desert and cacti. It's just that crazy hooker casinos kind of add an extra dash of zest to the colourful kaleidoscope that is life and I really don't know where I was heading with that sentence, wow. Ah, and speaking of crazy...!"

He slowed a little, his brake lights flashing. To the right soared a massive hotel with a circular court out front. Castle walls topped with red and blue minarets rose up within it, while sparking pools surrounded by palm trees and rocky grottos sat outside the western hotel wing.

"That's the Excalibur right there!" said Wash. "And oh blast, I took us down the wrong exit. Frank Sinatra doesn't get off on Tropicana. Which is... a very odd statement out of context, now that I think about it. Oh, but Rue de Monte Carlo is just ahead of us to the right, we'll get off there. That will lead is straight to Las Vegas Boulevard South and then north into the Strip. We can't go through Las Vegas without hitting up the Strip! It doesn't isn't done."