[ti]Ep 2.5[/ti]The Lament of Chauncey Pilkington (Closed, Javelin, Bandit)

[Javelin]

Javelin turned the Furby over in her hands a few times, inspecting it.

“Oh, you’d be surprised what they give their young to play with here. This...this is particularly disturbing, though.”

She watched as the little thing seemed to slightly open it’s eyes, and they rolled, as if caught in the grip of some demented dream or hallucination. With a distasteful grimace, she tossed it back towards Bandit.

After a moment, she crossed her arms, and studied Bandit again, a little closer this time. A little more relaxed now that there wasn’t some demented creature threatening her with otherworldly fates, she smiled at him.

“These bounty hunters just chose you to go after, huh? Drew the short straw?”

Her smile turned into a grin.

“Look, I’m no innocent sparkling. Crime lords don’t go after people who were minding their own business, and bounties aren’t placed on people for littering on the sidewalks. Who are we talking about, here? Jarvex from Haligon 6? He goes after people if they mispronounce his name. Which....I might have just done. Or Paridone Ganfedu the Fifteenth from The Borders?”

Javelin paused, “Wait, he’s dead. Someone poisoned his bath water a few cycles back, didn’t they? Hmm. Anyway....what are we talking? Murder? Theft? Impersonation of someone’s butler? I know none of this is my business, but it kinda is, because I can’t just go on your say-so here. Sorry, but...yeah.”

[Bandit]

Bandit caught Chauncey Pilkington in one hand, with the practiced ease of one who has had Furbys thrown at them on multiple occasions. He stowed the toy in his cloak and regarded Javelin again, thoughtfully.

“Murder? Butler impersonations?” Bandit’s tone left it unclear which accusation he was more offended by. “Javelin, I’ll have you know that I am probably the greatest non-fictional thief on this planet at the moment.”   This was, by any reasonable metric, an ego-maniacal boast, but Bandit managed to sound completely sincere at the same time.

Bandit began to tick off his fingers like he was listing a resume.  "I stole the Moonstar of Vibrox during the Lunar Equinox festival.  I snatched the Codex of Right Angles from the Wicker Swamps of Paravon.  I once managed to steal the color blorange from an isolated world inhabited by sentient radiowaves.... don't ask how, I'm still not sure how I managed that one.  It was a very confusing heist."

After a beat, he added, “Also, anyone who puts out a death mark on someone just for a butler impersonation is likely to put a death mark on someone for just about anything. Not that I wouldn’t put it past some people.”

[Javelin]

Javelin listened to Bandit as he spoke, optics narrows slightly, tilting her head some when he started listing off his achievements. After a second, she spoke.

“Ok, I can believe you did some of those things, but I call your bluff on the Codex of Right Angles. The inhabitants of Paravon are far too paranoid to let anyone just tromp around in their sacred swamps...”

She paused, looking at him a little closer, then smiled.

“And I’ll have you know I haven’t been traipsing around the universe writing visitor’s guides, you know. I don’t know if you heard about the theft of the Twisted Gem of Helidex 7, but that was yours truly. As was the disappearance of the Cursed Tome of the Quantum University on Gygex. Which....wasn’t that cursed, actually.”

Javelin’s smile turned sheepish, “And, uh, I’d actually kinda appreciate it if you kept that between us, because I’m really not supposed to be doing stuff like that as an Autobot."

She made a throat-clearing sound.

“Soooo.....actually....if you have time some day, I’d be really interested in hearing about that confusing heist. And oh, don’t question butler impersonations. Some planets take their butlers very seriously.

And..well, sorry for jumping on you. This planet is....” she paused, crossing her arms and lightly rubbing her arms, “This planet, as you’ve probably figured out by now....is different. I mean they have no idea about anything off world. And for some reason, their own leaders don’t want them to know. I don’t agree with it, but...”

She shrugged.

“So..uh...why do you carry the Furby thing around?”

[Bandit]

Bandit made a face.  "That is ridiculous.  No stealing allowed for the Autobots?  That makes no sense.  What if you really want a thing that belongs to someone else?  What are you supposed to do then?"  He put his arms out in an exaggerated pantomime shrug. 

"Still, that's an impressive resume.  I'll give you a ring if I need folks for a heist while I'm here.  I'll tell your bosses that I want to film some footage of the local fauna for a documentary.  It's a brilliant alibi."

He gave the femme a grin and scooped up a rock, idly tossing it from one hand to the other.  "Chauncey Pilkington?  I dunno.  I spend a lot of time alone, so sometimes it's nice to have something to talk to that talks back.  Before Chauncey Pilkington, I just jabbered to myself a lot.  Which gets old, and folk start to think you're a bit odd."

He tossed the stone across the quarry at a small cactus sprouting from the gravel.  The small stone bounced off the plant, not flung with enough force to harm it.  "So, what else should I know?  Who's lurking about, as far as the Autobots and Decepticons go?"

[Javelin]

Javelin smiled at Bandit’s antics, “If you want something someone else has, you offer to buy it, ask to borrow it, or do without. Sad, but there you go.”

She found herself laughing at his mention of asking her along for a heist.

“Primus, it’s been so long. I’m probably rusty. I should start training again. Probably couldn’t crawl through a booby trapped hallway now to save my life. Literally.”

She gave a lopsided grin.

“Yeah, I kinda hear ya about the talking to yourself thing. I used to do it a lot. Still do, sometimes. Things have gotten better since I came here and had others to talk to. Sometimes you just kinda....lose your social skills, don’t you?”

Javelin gave a self conscious grin and a half shrug, before changing the subject, answering his questions. She moved back to another boulder, and perched up on it again, keeping a look out in case any humans were wandering too close.

“Hmmm. Autobots and ‘Cons.”

Javelin fell silent for a moment. While she had no reason to distrust Bandit.....so far he certainly seemed nice enough....he wouldn’t be the first Neutral who betrayed the Autobots for money or other resources. While giving out who was on Earth Bot-side probably wasn’t a game changer.....it could be. Wars were won or lost on what seemed the most trivial information.

She decided to go with the ones she knew the Cons already knew about, not wanting to put any of the others into possible danger.

“Well, Optimus Prime is here, obviously. Ratchet. Bulkhead, Bumblebee and Arcee. Carbine, Bluestreak and myself. We’re getting a lot of stragglers lately, though.”

She shifted, “As for the Decepticons...Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave. I’ve heard their CMO KnockOut is here. There is apparently a few more..just names I’ve picked up....Breakdown, Flatline. Possibly a few more. And of course, their drones.”

Javelin gave an exvent, “We’re going to end up turning Earth into another battlefield, if we’re not careful.”

She studied him, “So...what are you going to do here? On Earth, I mean? Do you have a place to recharge, access to Energon? I can’t remember if I mentioned it before, but there is a Neutral base here on Earth, if you want coordinates to that.”

[Bandit]

Bandit listened to Javelin as he pulled out a half-completed spring mine and some tools. He set the mine on his knee and started fiddling with the tools, looking up at Javelin with a mischievous grin. “Hey, sometimes all a heist needs is someone to blithely walk down a trap-filled hallway. That’s a gift.”

He carefully adjusted the mine’s graviton matrix while Javelin talked about social skills. “Aye, go quiet long enough, and people start thinking you’re peculiar. Things have gone much better since I started hanging out with this creepy Earth toy.” He nodded, giving no indication whether or not he was kidding.

He listened to her list names while he tinkered. None of them really rang any really alarm bells. He knew many of them by reputation, of course, but there was no one he knew personally. This was promising.

He looked up at Javelin, studying her face as she spoke about battlefields. “Mm. We tend to do that. We’ve been at war so long it clings to us, polluting everything around us while we move through the cosmos. Autobots versus Decepticons will eat the universe eventually, if we let it. One of the reasons I walked away.”

He closed the casing of the mine as she asked him her questions. “I have a source of energon, though having the coordinates to the Neutral base could be useful.” He cast a glance around the surrounding terrain. “ … I don’t suppose it’s around here. Or at least within easy driving distance.  I can’t fly. Or teleport. Or anything.”

 “As for what I’m going to do here -- that’s an excellent question, right there. Same as I normally do, I suppose -- look for opportunities, lay low from the last people I annoyed, putter around until I annoy new people here and move on again.”

[Javelin]

Javelin watched Bandit work, her optics riveted on the.....was that a mine? Oh...whoa. She could only assume it wasn’t set, not the way he was balancing it on his knee like that. At least, she hoped so.

Smiling, she crossed her arms again, leaning back, “Yeah...nothing personal, but I’m not sure that thing counts as a companion, a pet, or something born from an unholy combination of greed and mayhem.” She glanced at the Furby, “No offence.”

When he spoke of going neutral, a strange look flashed across her face. She turned her head for a moment, smile faltering slightly, pausing for a brief second before looking back, her usual smile back on her face. The change had happened almost too swiftly to be noticed, a blip in her field for a brief flash, then gone. It might not have even been picked up.

“No, sorry, not near here. It’s on another continent, actually, so unless you can find a way to get some Earth currency and find a ship that can take your frame over there...the place is called Africa.”

She gave a slight shrug.

Another pause, this time thinking, then spoke again, “If you ever need help or anything, the Autobots would give you a hand, I’m sure. And if you need energon, we could probably trade you for it. I can’t see Optimus letting you starve.”

Another brief pause, “So...what do you do all the time? I mean...you have to hide all the time, right? Do you just hang out in the cities, or....what do you do, to pass the time?"