Things I'm not allowed to do in TF: Prime

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This is based off 'The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army' and '50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts'. These lists are really good fun to make, and I thought that we should have a go for our own TF: Prime universe =D


1. I will not claim to be a vehicle bewitched by black magic.

2. Megatron’s battlecry is not ‘ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?'

3. I am not ‘Lord and Master of the Squishies’.

4. Asking ‘How do you keep an Autobot in suspense?’ and walking away is only funny the first time you do it.

5. I will not paint the Vehicons in different colours.

6. ‘Now you’re thinking with portals’ is not an acceptable passcode for the groundbridge system.

7. Fortress Maximus is not Javier.

8. Asking the enemy to divide by zero is not a valid method of psychological warfare.

9. LOLcat memes are not a viable defence against hackers.

10. KITT is not deep undercover.

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RE: #8 - Are we allowed to install paradox-absorbing crumple zones?

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Jan 10, 2013 9:54:59 GMT -5 @atracchus said:

10. KITT is not deep undercover.

LIE! DAMN LIES AND BLASPHEMY!

*offers video evidence*

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-literally dying of laughter- And now I feel like we need a thread for each one of these topics. XDDD

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10 - the jury is still out on this, dammit. PROOF OR I DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF IT.

11. Silly String is not a viable weapon alternative, regardless of what the medics say about what it does in a mech's knee joints.

12. Bulkhead is not a christmas tree, do not deploy tinsel bombs.

12a. Especially if Miko suggests it.

13. No one needs to know what happens if you mix Cybertronian high grade and 180 proof vodka.

13a. "For Science!" is not a good enough excuse.

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14. Frozen dairy products are not a substitution for actual food.

15. Brick ovens are not made for mass furbie disposal.

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Re: #15 - We shall see...

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17. Never tell Rattrap something foul, dangerous, and probably radioactive is food. ...But don't tell him it's not food either. He takes it as a challenge.

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18. I will not train the Vehicons at the Stormtrooper’s School for Tactical Aim.

19. League is not on a mission to find the lost city of Atlantis.

20. I will not make R-rated gummy moulds.

21. The designation of the Autobot CMO is Ratchet, not ‘Dr Feelgood’, ‘Dr House’ or ‘Dr Nick’.

22. I will stop trying to communicate with Bumblebee and Atracchus through beatboxing.

23. I will not reinact the final scene of ‘Thelma and Louise’ when on patrol.

24. Quiddich is not a real Cybertronian sport.
24a. Jet Judo is not a real Cybertronian sport.

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25. Dubstep is NOT filled with encoded cybertronian messages no matter how many programs I make that successfully decodes text from it.

26. I will not use high voltage prods on Cybertronians even if it is for research.

27. Stealing gummies for analysis is a quick way to piss off the younger autobots.

28. "For Science" is only a valid excuse if you couple it with sufficient or excessive data gathering methodology.

29. I will not test out my latest inventions on the cybertronians without intense preliminary testing.

30. And express permission from their Prime.

31. I will not headslap the NEST soldiers for breaking my inventions.

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32. I will not borrow, steal, take, abscond with, repurpose, make off with or otherwise disturb Moonshot's art supplies.
33. Providing I ignore rule 32, I will not whine to Cleaver when I am summarily shot full of holes.
34. I will not offer to explain how Cybertronian reproduction works.
35. Additionally, I will not offer to demonstrate.
36. Crisco is not an effective anti-personnel measure, and I will not attempt use it as such.
37. I will not encode dubstep, house, hardcore, happy hardcore, progressive, trance or any other variant of techno with Cybertronian messages 'just to mess with their heads'.
38. I will not engage in music-wars with Soundwave.

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39. It is not okay to hide in the rafters of the Autobot base and pellet any unsuspecting bots with a pant ball gun.

40: The Autobot medic's name is also NOT Hatchet.

41. Shearwind, Bluestreak and any other bot cuter than should by all reason be should not use their powers for evil. (Fairwinds gets a free pass since she's a Decepticon and she's SUPPOSED To be evil)

42: Humming Soft Kitty near Steeljaw or Ravage will only end in tears.

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It's been a while since this was touched, but with the influx of new plots and new players I thought this thread could use a little reviving =P



43. A magic eight ball does not override my chain of command as a ‘superior alien intelligence’.

44. ‘Everywhere the light touches, is our kingdom’ is not an accurate representation of the DMZ borders.

45. Soundwave is not the third, nor founding member of Daft Punk.

46. I will not show Ironhide certain scenes from the movie ‘Aliens’ and infer they are homologous with sparkling birth.

47. I will not tell Red Alert about the scraplet invasion, and then immediately mention an odd scratching noise coming from near the control room. Or that, if you really wanted to be technical, it sounded a little more like gnawing than anything else. Weird, huh?