Ep. 1 - Robo Whisperer [Closed]

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Scenic views. Recreational facilities. Clean camp grounds. Wildlife. Nature.

Travel brochures and websites had assured him it was a good place to observe both the non-sentient and sentient wildlife of the region, and the woodland cover promised a good spot to hide… himself.

So where was everyone?

His holoform walked into a clearing a nearby forest trail had led him to. Clad in a strange assortment of tourist gear- long hiking cargos, a beaten fanny pack, and tennis shoes, all topped with a Hawaiian shirt covered in a flowery tropical print. He even held an extendable hiking stick, though he wasn't quite sure how to use it properly. He took to simply holding it just above ground level while walking, touching it to the ground whenever he felt was appropriate.

True enough he’d picked a less traveled part of the park- all the better to hide his monstrously inconvenient altmode… but he’d still have expected to find someone to observe. He knew he was somewhat out of his league- he was a mineral surveyor, not a social explorer- but unfortunately for him, his curious programming didn’t discriminate. The YouTube videos and Wikipedia articles he’d entertained himself while on medberth had become altogether too enticing and bland to leave unexplored.

While the natural setting itself had proved to be worthy of vorn worth of research, he was still utterly disappointed. He couldn’t move too far out for fear of losing a decent connection with his holoform- if he did manage to make contact with a local, he wanted his disguise to be flawless.

Approaching a picnic table, his holoform pulled a park brochure from its fanny pack. It inspected it with the same puzzled frustration as his mecha form was peering into his HUD, running a customized browser and frantically querying 'The Google' for visitor statistics at this time of year.

He didn’t bother to hide his emotion. The holoform ‘harrumphed’ loudly and sat, still scanning the pamphlet. Well. Now what? His patience was running thin- probably from all that time stuck in medbay- let alone an ancient glacier of eons past.


<<OOC: I’ll just keep to the idea that his holoform looks a bit like Christopher Lloyd. Make of that as you will.>>

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Now Catherine was certainly a cave dweller (literally, she supposed) and liked her fair share of reclusive behavior - locked away in a room with the internet and a hint of a hankering to piss someone off. But there were a few times when, gasp, she enjoyed the fresh air also; maybe even a dash of sunlight.

Today happened to be one of those days where she was just restless enough from her usual routine to want to venture out without errands to run for herself or Cleaver. On a different continent, maybe. And so, with all usual chores done, she took herself on a day trip back to the States (following some weird pull in her gut that she recognized as possibly a bit of homesickness). A few seconds later, she was watching the sun rise in Yellowstone.

It had exactly enough majesty and awe-inspiring hues to shift her attention from depressing thoughts, but didn't last nearly as long as she'd have liked it to. So she started walking and began to imagine ways she could wrestle bears or wolves if she encountered one or the other. 3 or 4 hours later, she had quite a number of scenarios -- none of which she particularly liked, but all of which would make interesting youtube videos.

Lost. She was also a bit lost after 3 or 4 hours. Not that she was a terrible navigator, but Lost tended to happen in a big ass national park with big ass trees and big ass rocks without a damn map. No. She didn't care about printing out a map. But she had a damn compass. So that's something.

But judging by the colors on the tress (she'd been following Yellow for some time), she was on some type of hiking path that might just come out to -- oh look, picnic tables.

'Oh, and a person. With a map.' Fabulous.

"Hey." She didn't stop to think about how sketchy it was to approach a lone man by herself in the middle of no where, but he looked like a crazy-scientist-grandfather and he had a fanny pack so she gambled he was safe enough. "You mind if I borrow that map?"

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"Hey."

It was too difficult to restrain his joy- his holoform even looked up with a somewhat manic grin- though it looked a little more goofy than sinister. The female crested the trail, and was headed quite deliberately towards him. Brilliant! He didn’t even have to try to initiate contact. His job was being done for him.

She looked a little tired but not winded. This was to be expected being at this part of the park. He’d done his research. This distance was considered a hard day’s work for an average resident of this part of the country. She’d probably been walking for hours. "You mind if I borrow that map?"

Jetfire’s EMF drooped and then spiked with panic. No, you absolutely may not borrow this non-coporeal map in my hands. Why am I projecting it anyway?! Fragging idiot! His holoform reacted quite similarly- his face fell and his eyes darted from the object in his hands and back to the human being as if he had no idea what she was talking about.

“Ah-er… um…” he garbled, his processors overloaded with excitement and horror. “It’s more of a brochure… really…” Before he could feel proud, he realized he should have pretended he didn’t speak English. His altmode vented softly with irritation. Barely said hello and he’d already mussed this up. Some explorer he was. ‘Cron’s cogs…

He quickly switched the graphic on the pamphlet he was holding to the absolute worst map he could find of the place. His holoform also held an iron grip on the thing- not that it would matter. If she grabbed for it her hand would simply pass through. “Maybe we can look at it together…?” Just don’t. Touch. “Where are you trying to go?”


OOC: I’m not sure how we do holoforms here. I haven’t really caught up on anythreads that have handled it and this is my first time with Jets projecting one. I know we can go by the ‘superior alien technology means holograms can hold physical objects” etc etc route, if you like. The restrictions of the hologram thing does seem a fun little thing to play with anyway. Not sure if the board has its own canon rules with holoforms. Drop be a line if I mess up somewhere.

Also I have never been to Yellowstone so I’M SORRY.

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Catherine took a moment to examine her life choices, listening patiently to the mixture of ohfuck and excite?!11!? that seemed to be filtering through the older man’s voice. She couldn’t assume he was a serial killer (well, she could) just because of his behavior… after all, Cleaver turned out not to be, but instead the beginnings of a giant robot family. Nah… if it looks, walks, and talks like a tourist, he’s probably just a tourist.

Either way, he had the map brochure, so she waited patiently for him to decided whether or not he wanted to share. Which, it seemed like he did. As long as she didn’t touch, judging from the way he held the thing. “...Sure. Thanks.” And leaning as close as she felt she could without making the man bolt she observed what few trails were highlighted in their varying colors. “Eh. Just trying to make it to one of the food joints. I know there’s one around the geysers which looks like… a couple miles from here. Yeah, the Old Faithful Lodge here -- see?” And without thinking, shifted a finger over the brochure to point to a spot on the left.

<< That is TOTALLY okay neither have I. I am guessing EVERYWHERE. XD But yeah, we can totally play with the holoform details. x3 I mean afterall, could be different from bot-to-bot, right? Also I am so sorry for the lateness and shortness of this tag. >< >>

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As her finger neared the brochure, he whipped it back down on his lap, smacking his knee with it. “Hungry!” the tourist cried out, with a slight crack in his voice. He had been trying to sound enthusiastic, but it came out a little strangled. If Jetfire’s coordinates were correct, the tip of her finger had passed through, but it was difficult to tell from his position. His hover cameras were in as much disrepair as he was and they tended to overheat, vent, and cause disturbing noise. He had to keep them a farther distance away than he liked. He was aware that there had been significant advances to hologram tech through his hibernation- Pit, there had been before it- but asking for an upgrade back then seemed unnecessary and right now seemed like a suspicious thing for a mineral surveyor to request in troubled wartime. He had to make do with what he had, outdated or not.

Still, Primus above and below, he was ill equipped for even as little as a casual conversation. The jet fumed amongst the trees, considering just shutting the hologram off and waiting for her to go on her merry (or probably very unsettled) way.

-But he didn’t want to break her feeble, primitive mind in the process, so here he was, pretending he knew the first thing about being hungry.

“Food. That. That is a good idea. I was… hmm… too busy enjoying the scenery to realize it.” It was clear, even from the inaccurate, kid-friendly, somewhat adorable map that his holoform could not be projected that far- not without interference. He would have to make an excuse later. Or pull the vanishing act- but he wanted to avoid that.

She was also far too close for comfort, so he scooted away and stood up, swiveling on his hiking stick. “I could join you, if you like.” A pause. The holoform shuffled his foot and gave a nervous smile. “I wanted to see the geysers as well. I- ah… I’m a geologist.” Not really a lie, and on more comfortable ground. He was making a sincere attempt to remain casual.


OOC: He might just scare her off. It’s not a date silly. : p Feel free to control him walking about or whathaveyou.

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'I should probably say no.' She thought, transported back to times when her mother had whooped her ass once or thrice for stranger danger related incidences. Catherine only stared, using a sip of a soda can to create some space for her to agree with herself on just how sketchy this seemed. '….Eeeh. He's a geologist.' As if that reasoning somehow set everything into a perfect sense of order and rainbows.

"Yeah, sure. I'm Cat, by the way." She didn't hold out her hand to shake, rather just set to walking along the trail with a better sense of direction, the crazy old geologist man walking beside her. "So, you a professor at a university or something, or you out of state…? Or is this like a… recreational rock-viewing."

She spoke pleasantly, tone light and interested and walk relatively relaxed. Not really giving a hint to the way her brain kept buzzing, trying to tell her something just felt kind of off. Not that she doubted her abilities to take on the dude; not that he didn't seem completely unlike a geologist. Just… off. She glanced to her side, looking him up and down every now and then as they spoke, trying to convince herself of something - either good or bad. Whatever that was.

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Quite in over his helm, he was. He understood the meaning of her words, but the context was somewhat confusing. This wouldn’t do. He wanted to know about her not make up some silly human story for himself. “Recreation,” he said dismissively, poking a leaf with his stick. He had to generate a holo-leaf to react to it, but it was pulled off quite realistically. “And what about you, ‘Cat’?” He had noticed in his research that humans had an affinity for comparing themselves to animals- yet at the same time were furiously adamant about separating themselves from them. He found this reasonable, considering their progress but perhaps they weren’t that different… that’s why he was conducting this ridiculous excursion anyway. To find out. “Are you a… hmm…” he searched for the word in a browser, “-vet-er-inareean?” He’d have to look up the etymology later. With a name like ‘Cat’, he assumed it was the closest fit he could find. He hoped it wasn’t too far fetched. “There is some interesting wildlife here. What brings you here?”

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"Uh," Well, that was a first, but she supposed wasn't... quite out of place. Random, sure, but... why not? Made her wonder what a 'veterinarian' looked like, though -- but someone with that amount of discipline to stay in school for that long must look somewhat more put together than herself.. right? Older and professional. A young professional. Yes, that was her. Damn straight.

Eye brows raised after she decided she liked the comparison, she continued, "Nah, I'm actually..." How do you describe a random place at a Neutralist base? "...in computers. IT stuff, ya know?" More like AIT, Alien Info and Tech. She loved her own puns. "I'm just here on vacation, got a family friend lives close by." If you counted a ground bridge portal as close.

"You from around here...?" She let her voice trail off, as if searching for name, and turned her eyes to him for a full second for emphasis.

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“Ah. No.” There was an awkward pause, and it took him a moment to realize she wanted a little more. Her facial expressions were difficult for him to read. “I- I’m… Je-ah…” why hadn’t he thought of this before? “Jerry,” he blurted after a lightning speed internet search. At the very least, vocal inflections and language seemed to have the same tone here, and it was clear he was coming off as pretty strange. He didn’t wait to let her wonder at his awkwardness and charged on. “No. I’m not from around here. No. Just. Vacation. Recreational rocks. Ah…” He appreciated not having to lie. It was simple.

But getting her to talk about herself was simpler. And his original goal. He steered the conversation back with a force. “Computers.” The holoform wore an almost imperceptible smirk. Jetfire wasn’t exactly technologically literate by the standards of his own kin… but he was still fairly sure his knowledge of computers overshadowed her own. “Interesting work. Varied. I, ah, I know a thing or two about them myself. Tell me more,” he finished with a friendly grin. He honestly had very little interest in what she knew about computers, but at least he might use the subject as a liason to something he did actually care about.

They weren’t walking briskly, but he was aware that they’d hit the edge of his projection limit fairly soon. He had some time for casual conversation but he’d have to figure out an excuse quickly… It was a pity this sort of interaction was so disappointingly difficult. If only they could stop. If only he could project himself in that restaurant… if only…

OOC: Actually, the first name that appears is ‘Jabari’, but… well…

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A grin split her face, not malicious or mischievous, but not exactly innocent either. A giggle followed, light and airy; not at him, but he wasn't giggling either, so it couldn't have been with him. "Nice to meet you, Jerry." But damn, she was hoping he knew absolutely nothing about the topic... it was so much easier to fubar and twist little stories when people knew nothing.

And while she thought about how to begin, she wondered if they were both on the same page. This conversation was turning into a game of 'who will tell more', which was both suspicious and fun. But it also occurred to her he noticed what was happening as much as she did. Hell, maybe he'd planned it. ...Which was making her revisit her life choices, but... he had a food map.

What's something boring that's computer related...?
"Eh, I just worked in customer service for a few years in college. Payin' the bills, ya know?"

Her turn to swing the ball back into his court.

"You said you know a thing or two--" bloop. bloop. bloop. "--Ah, sorry." She reached into her back pocket, plucking out something that looked like a blackberry, continuing the beep patiently and pleasantly. Her fingers went instinctively to the keypad, as if to text but... well there was no text from Cleaver or Layby. Rather, the screen showed a greenish dot on a map. Her stomach didn't exactly drop, but she did blurt a "Huh.." sound.

An unregistered signature in the area, or this thing was malfunctioning. Because it was only herself and Jerry, and she didn't see any fleeing animals. Still, her skin was prickling.

It was then she became aware she blurted out that sound in the first place, so she tried to recover, make it smooth. "Sorry, just got a text. I didn't even think I'd get reception out here. Yay, Verizon!"

The cell phone-esque device was replaced in her side pocket, keeping up the pace without skipping a beat. And while she didn't look over her shoulder, her body made her acutely more aware of her surroundings. Weighing the decision of texting Cleaver for a ride back home and not wanting to leave ol' Jerry, here. She turned back to look up at him, smiling. "So what is you know about computers? I'm sure you use 'em a lot to map out areas, huh?"

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“I see. Not bad,” he responded neutrally. His EMF dripped with disappointment as he added the mysterious phrases ‘customer service’ and ‘paying the bills’ to his data log. He was starting to realize he would need several more encounters before he understood anything that was to be said.

Her cell phone –he knew about those- went off. He seemed concerned about it but quickly feigned interest, tucking it away and teaching him a new exclamation. "So what is you know about computers? I'm sure you use 'em a lot to map out areas, huh?"

“Yes, they’re useful for topography, too…” Scrap. Back to him and his silly stories again. This was almost impossible. He expected them to be much more… self-centered than this. Perhaps she was- the conversation was a bit guarded and vague. He supposed he was lucky she was speaking with a stranger at all. He’d expected more people and a less vulnerable environment but…

His EMF shivered with irritation and he vented softly. There was barely a sound, but some leaves at his wheels fluttered about. “Topographic maps are a favorite- nothing like the third dimension onto that coordinate plane. Do y-ou know-?” The ‘you’ skewed, pixellated. Wrong. He wasn’t sure if his holoform had provided visual errors as well. Scrap and slag. Had she noticed? They were rather intent on walking. He thought he had plenty of range left but then again… his equipment wasn’t exactly up to snuff. What-

Pretend it didn’t happen? He was afraid of speaking, lest another glitch reveal itself. His hover-camera whizzed by behind them, eager to get a better view… hopefully soundless-

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It was difficult to keep her head from snapping up at every loose leaf and twig that fell or crunched or… rustling. That was definitely a rustle. Like something was moving or adjusting - not quite wind, it was stronger than that and-- stop freaking out.

She was barely listening to him now, just enough to smile when necessary and nod her head at others to keep him comfortable -- her pace continued to stay steady, her outward appearance reflecting hardly anything of what was inside. The phone started to beep again, like an alarm that had been put on snooze. She plucked it from her pocket casually, bent her head as if to text and looked at the screen. Tapped the map, looked at the location dot -- within the area. As in in the area. As in really damn close. Why an Autobot or Decepticon would be by their lonesome in Yellowstone she had no idea, but there it was, and she doubted it was a malfunction.

Better let Cleaver or Layby know, just in case.

<<Hey theres a sig showin up on screen. Is- >> …What the fuck was that?

It sounded.. a lot like Cleaver's holo when they had first met. That hiccup sound. She'd become visibly more tense, her pace slowing to something that seemed as if in another few paces she'd stop completely. She kept her head down, like being preoccupied.

Hooow to handle this.

"Hey, Jerry." Her tone was casual, not accusing, and she pretended she wasn't hearing anything out of the ordinary. "Ya know, if you're feelin' a bit glitchy we can always walk back in range."

Maybe poorly handled. And 'why the fuck not?' was not an acceptable explanation. But really, better to keep it in a relatively unpopulated area (that wasn't a helluva lot better than 'why the fuck not').

<< -I also just called him out, so… see you at dinner.>> /Send.

She put the thing back in her pocket, looking up perfectly pleasant. Attitude would be important. Right? Right. No one has to freak out here. Be cool. It's all cool.

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'Jerry' gave her an unfathomable look. Really, his controller was having a rough time piecing the situation together. Did she-? She couldn't possibly. Did the humans ever use the word 'glitch' in this context? He felt like an idiot for dwelling on it for so long... But he had trouble believing that she was so obviously aware of... Well, what? Holoforms?

He'd assumed that in a situation like this she'd make up some superstitious excuse. He took another moment to consider if he'd missed any connotations to her words, but it was too close for comfort. And by close, it was dead on.

"I'm not sure what you mean," Jerry garbled automatically, for really no good reason. She gave him an innocent look, though she gave him the impression that she was on to him and wasn't about to let go.

Jerry's brows furrowed and he pointed into the trees. Wearing a theatrical look of terror, he shouted, "'Cron's cogs, WHAT IS THAT-!?" before vanishing entirely.

It was all the jet could do to restrain himself from grumbling among the trees where he hid. Now he had to wait, and he hardly had anything to show for his work.

His hover camera swooped sideways, keeping a distant eye behind Cat. It was almost adding insult to injury, having to watch her. He wondered how long it would be before she gave up and went away.

OOC: Done on my phone so beware of autocorrect mistakes. Will check later.

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"Oh, come on, Jerr-" The overwhelming theatrics were only met with a flat look, and not a single muscle twitched to look in the direction of his non-eyes. "Did you just..." Which, of course, she was able to watch as the hologram dissipated into pixelated bits of nothing. Huffing, she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, drawing out the little device to study its screen.

And there, clear as day, as the little green blip not but a short distance away off the beaten path, hidden by the tree line. She turned, started pacing towards it at a relaxed but direct pace. Not that she should be tracking down an unknown bot that wanted to disappear, but... really, if he wanted to do some damage he wouldn't have tried to hide in plain sight with a human imitation.

Yeah. Sure. That worked.

The reading eventually carried her off of the trail until she was weaving her way through the trees, muttering as she went: "Jesus, how d'you even fit in here?" And more loudly,"Look, I'm not going to do anything, okay. I'm just curious why you'd be camping out here stalking random people. Ya know?" She was getting closer, according to the screen - maybe he was hidden just behind that... is that a jet? "Really? I can see you." She spread her hands, a cheesy but sincere 'come in peace' gesture. "...Please don't shoot me?" It occurred to her, as she requested of the giant alien she followed without much though into the woods alone, that she might need something a bit more solid than 'please'. "...I'm with Haven."

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Primus. She was headed straight towards him. His hover camera whirred in dangerously close, trying to see by what sorcery she was achieving this. That cellular phone. Was that… was that a tracking device displayed?! Jetfire almost wheezed with horror. He had either greatly underestimated humankind or he was just terribly unlucky. There was a long moment of indecision as he listened to her struggle through the brush to get to him.

Jetfire had parked himself in a clearing- though he was still too big for it. One of his wings was pushing several trees at an angle and his nose did the same, resting on several snapped saplings.

Considering how she spoke… she understood the situation perfectly. This was much more than Jetfire could say for himself, because he had been under the impression that that was impossible. The Blackbird remained immobile, doing its best to show no signs of life, though his EMF wavered with confusion and his speakbeat felt loud in his audials. This certainly wasn’t something he could get away with, but… what was he supposed to do? Transform and reveal himself?

And for that matter- why had he turned the holoform off in the first place? With a slight edge of panic having subsided, he realized that even if she was on to him… well… the conversation had been sure to become less guarded and restricted.

There was another pause as she switched her attitutes towards the absurdly parked jet from sarcastic to a sort of surrender.

Jerry peered from behind Jetfire’s wing engine. “Ah, hello Cat! What a strange thing to find in the woods… What were you saying? I’m afraid I ran off when I saw…” he paused. “Uh… Hm… That… thing.” He didn’t specify what ‘that thing’ was, just gave her a concerned grin and did his best to look mystified by the appearance of a military grade stealth plane parked in the middle of a forest.

Well… Jetfire thought, I supposed I’ve sunk to deeper lows…